Never Without You │ BOTW modern AU fanfic

Consequences

Link and I are waiting anxiously down the hall. I know this probably isn't the right time but I need to fill this awful silence with something other than the sound of my thunderous pulse.

"I'm sorry... I could have done more," I whisper ashamed. We are standing by a large window, not a student in sight. Link looks out at the dreary palm trees. He's as calm as the motionless clouds hanging in the sky. I wonder if that is just on the exterior and a storm is brewing behind the facade.

"Zelda... The stuff you said about me... um... It means a lot to me," he speaks softly. "I'm glad you didn't say anything about Karusa. Even if it would make them understand why I got into a fight, what Karusa did doesn't change the fact that I attacked him first, on campus, in front of everyone... I don't know how to put this, what he did was terrible but it doesn't excuse my actions, you know? I don't want to blame anyone else. I'm glad you're on my side but... But I really screwed up. I made my team and the whole school look bad... I feel like shit. And there's nothing I can really do about it now."

I walk up to the window to stand next to him. I would like to take his guilt away but I don't know what to say and even if I did, I don't want to interrupt him. I want to be there for him and listen to him the way he always did when I was downhearted.

"I know how painful it is for you to talk about what happened--I mean, I don't actually know completely how you feel, but I understand, or at least try to. And I know that you still blame yourself for everything but if you do that then I... well I'm guilty too you know? If it weren't for me, you would have never met Karusa. And if I didn't get in a fight with him back in August,  maybe he wouldn't have followed you into the tunnels during my game. We don't know. What happened happened, and now... Now we just have to find ways to live with it... The fact that you're still sticking up for me and fighting for me, I..... You've done more for me than I could ever ask for."

He tilts his head to look at me and gives me a bittersweet smile. "So don't apologize. You sound like we already lost."

His smile carries so much pain... So many challenges lie ahead of him and yet he tries to comfort me with his optimism. This is the Link I know and love...

"Is it true what you said in there?" I ask Link nervously. 

"I had to be honest," he says with a nod.

"So the person who punched Karusa doesn't exist anymore?" I try to keep my voice low, which unfortunately amplifies how brittle it is.

"It's not what you think."

"I'm not really sure what exactly I'm thinking, actually. That's why I wanted to clarify what you meant. But we can talk about it later tonight."

"We can talk about it right now," he says and turns to face me.

"I don't want to bother you with this right at this moment."

"You're not bothering. If there's something that's worrying you we should talk about it, and we got some time right now."

"Okay... well... what did you mean when you said that?"

"I wasn't talking about my amnesia. I literally remember everything besides that one week before the game. I'm still the same person as last year when it comes to you. When I said that this person doesn't exist anymore I meant that I'm not that aggressive anymore. At least I'm trying not to be. I want to work on controlling my anger... I can't really say I regret what I did to Karusa, for one because I don't remember it but also because I know what a piece of shit he is and he definitely deserved to get beat up. But I do regret everything that happened because of me. I hurt so many people and it fucking sucks so much... I just want to move past it and try to be a better person you know? I want to keep you safe but if I get expelled or injured I can't do that so... yeah, I have to make sure I don't do that stuff anymore. That's what I meant when I said that."