Heart Puzzle [BinSung] (completed)

part 5.1

Jisung was at home at the exceptionally early time of 7 pm after a day of schedule that started about 14 hours ago. It wasn’t too unusual for them but draining regardless. He craved nothing more than some lazy time to recover from the exhaustion. The good part with such packed schedules was that he didn’t have to think. It was a welcome change for his overthinking self.

He was chatting with Seungmin and Jeongin. The three of them were the last ones to complete their activities today and the youngest ones decided to spend the evening at the 4racha’s dorm.

To be accurate, Seungmin and Jeongin were talking while he nodded from time to time, resting most of his weight on the magnae who tried to shrug him off more than once.

When they reached the apartment, Changbin was laying on the sofa, half cuddling Hyunjin and half spacing out. He had a light frown and his nose hitched whenever his improvised pillow moved a millimetre. He looked tired like they probably all did, but why was he so cute?

Without noticing, a gentle smile appeared on Jisung's lips. Changbin was usually one of the loudest, always strong and composed. Seeing him in a more vulnerable state was such as sight.

"What are you smiling for suddenly? Seungmin asked as if he became completely crazy.

To be fair, he thought he might as well be. He must be out of his mind to enjoy the mere sight of his sleepy friend. Surely, he had had more rational crushes before, this one turned his brain into mush. No matter how much he tried to reason himself, though, he couldn't help but love him.

He tried to hide his smile, but the longing expression on his face didn't vanish.

"For nothing," he said while looking at him.

Seungmin raised his eyebrows, one higher than the other, in disbelief.

"Is that so?"
"Just thinking about lame a joke Chan made heard earlier", he explained, the lie coming without even thinking.
"A joke?"
"That wasn't even funny. I better not share, I need to preserve our leader's dignity." Jisung avoided the question quickly, hoping Seungmin would be kind enough to accept his excuse without asking more.

That might be a bit too hopeful, though. If he had to choose one member he found particularly hard to bullshit his way with, it would be Seungmin. And Minho. These two were more similar than they would like to admit he noticed, but that was a topic for another time.

Jisung's eyes flickered toward Jeongin, silently asking for an escape. As expected, it was asking too much of the maknae.

"I'm only here for the snacks Chan said he received yesterday, don't try to get me involved in your mess," he dismissed, his face screaming 'I'm not concerned, it's your problem' more than any word he could have said.

Thankfully, the reminder of the reason - excuse - they came to the second dorm seemed to be more of Seungmin's interest than the previous topic had been. They both disappeared to the kitchen, where Chan kept some of his precious Aussie snacks to share with the members.

Jisung sighed in relief, too early. He noticed Seungmin's gaze on him from the kitchen and immediately looked away. It was different from his usual teasing, so focused as if he was trying to break him down. He seemed a bit confused, too, but worried regardless.

At times, Jisung hated how close the members were and how easily they could read each other. He had enough people worrying about him already. More than he expected or wanted to know in the first place.

He ignored him. At least he tried. He hated this look as if he could see his thoughts and guess his feelings. Jisung hated feeling so defenceless.

Uncomfortable, he cleared his throat and stood up. "I'll … go," Jisung said, uneasiness noticeable in his voice.

Hyunjin nodded, too focused on his phone to pay attention to what was going on. Supposedly, Changbin was looking at the screen, too, but really, it was hard to tell if he wasn't sleeping with his eyes open instead.

Jisung sat on the couch's armrest in silence to see what had caught their attention. Changbin's eyes fluttered open to look at Jisung.

"You're home," he said, voice sleepy.

Jisung felt the wave of fondness spread through his body. It was so domestic, so warm, he wanted to reach out and pet him. Had he been a little bit bolder, he would have sat on the other side of the sofa, found a reason to start a random discussion and lured Changbin into curling up to his lap.

Jisung was too weak to be content with such ephemera happiness.