Heart Puzzle [BinSung] (completed)

Part 9.2

Jisung was such a coward.

A coward was not even able to face Changbin properly before running away. A coward who waited for the only night he was sure the members were busy until late to start packing.

He already felt exhausted.

He laid down on the bed he barely bought a few months ago and closed his eyes to gather himself. A loud thud brought him out of his thoughts, followed by a curse.

"Sh*t! Who's trying to transform the corridor into a minefield?

Jisung leaned on his elbows. He would recognize this particular voice anywhere. A small smile appeared on his face thinking about Changbin's satisfaction with his own joke, soon replaced by a frown when he remembered he would get caught by the one person he tried to avoid at all cost.

"Jisung? Why is your laundry on the floor? I mean... why is it on the floor OUTSIDE your room? You usually keep them closer to you. Is it spring cleaning in winter? You're early, you know~" Changbin chuckled.

Jisung didn't dare to move. He was still a bit anxious about his reaction, and he didn't feel ready to talk about his feelings yet. He knew he would have eventually, but he expected a few more hours of break.

He didn't want to face Changbin's hurt and betrayal once reality sink in.

Probably confused by the lack of answer, Changbin opened the doors one by one, calling for the members.

he knew he was in Jaejoong's _ mine and Jaejoong's should he say_ he heard his voice surprised and slightly choleric.

"What is this?!" He asked half surprised and half upset.

Did he notice the suitcases in the corner or the unusual cleanliness of his room? Jisung didn't know, but after all, Changbin had always been pretty great at reading people, no wonder he would grab the situation quite fast.

He scanned the room, baffled. "What does that mean?

Jisung couldn't describe his voice's tone. It sounded too rough, too unreal to put words on it. With his best smile, Jisung got up on his elbows.

"Hmm?" Jisung hummed innocently as if he didn't just get caught off guard while trying to sneak out.

Changbin gritted his teeth and breathed deeply, convincing him immediately to drop the act.

"We made an arrangement with Felix. I'll move to his room, and he'll come here instead," Jisung quickly admitted

"What? why?"

"You know, Felix kept saying he missed cuddling with hyung and since 3racha had always been living together, I thought it was a good time for a change. The boy already spends half of his life in our dorm anyway, it wouldn't change much."

"Is it because of me?" Changbin asked, voice raising between some kind of anger, hurt and sadness.

"What? No! Of course not, hyung. Not related at all," Jisung tried to deny lamely, cringing at the stutter in his voice.

He had always been a bad liar when taken by surprise, and his words only seemed to convince Changbin that he was indeed the reason for this sudden change.

"Why? Do you hate me that much now? We're already far enough from each other, and I know it might be my fault but why are you doing this? Why are you trying to disappear without talking to us? Why did you decide this alone? He demanded again, hurt.

"I'm sorry, I should have talked with you before, but I think it is for the best. You have a couple now, a real couple and I can't stay between you two, you need space. I guess," Jisung tried to justify his decision as well as he could, without even noticing the confession barely hidden behind his words.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

Jisung sighed, all his previous plans thrown away one by one. As if it wasn't obvious enough, was Changbin asking for a full confession now?

"I don't want you to leave," Changbin said firmly.

"I'm going to the room in the other dorm, not the other side of the world..." Jisung tried to joke even if he knew it wasn't the right moment. An automatism every time he felt too pressured.

"Stay."

An order. So weird from him, but it was one. Jisung felt himself waver.

Changbin had always been a confident guy. He knew what he wanted and wasn't ashamed to go straight for it - or not straight, depending on the situation. It was not that surprising to hear him speak strongly.

Jisung, on the other hand, despite his outward appearance still often struggled. He came a long way since he started to work on his anxiety, but it sometimes still peaked through his resolve. A little setback, a gentle denial... the simplest things were enough to make him doubt everything, to break down his spirit. On the worst day, it could make him crumble under an overwhelming load of self-depreciation.

Changbin had always been the one to support him in these situations. How could Jisung now keep his resolve if the one trying to change his mind was the one who usually encouraged him to stay true to what he thought was best?

"Changbin...You have a boyfriend," he pleaded to convince him to drop the battle.

"Are you uncomfortable about my sexuality? Is it what it is?"

"Hyung, you can't be serious," Jisung protested.

"Then what? Why do you keep running away from me? Why are literally moving out of the apartment to be away from me? And don't try to deny it, I'm not that stupid."

"Don't be ridiculous, I have no problem with your sexuality. Felix and Minho are openly out, and so am I."

"You are?"

"I thought it was obvious. Even Seungmin knows."

"I don't make a habit to assume. I didn't even do it for myself."

Jisung shrugged and looked away, too uncomfortable to reply properly. Changbin stared at him in silence, making him squirm under the intensity of his gaze.

"Then why?" Changbin asked.

"You have a boyfriend, hyung," Jisung repeated, trying to get the meaning across without saying it out loud, "and it's serious between you two."

"If I'd known having a partner would keep us away, trust me, I wouldn't have one now," Changbin replied unfazed by his ambiguous word.

"Don't say that kind of thing..." Jisung whispered slightly.

'They make me hope' he thought sadly.