Heart Puzzle [BinSung] (completed)

Part 12.3

Jisung tried to take everything in. That was A Lot. But first, he needed to clarify his feelings, it was too late to bail out and changbin deserved to know he was much more than sexually appealing.

"Hyung, I admit... it's hard to look away when you're working out with those stupid shorts and sleeveless shirts, but my feelings go way beyond that. You are so much more to me.

Changbin chuckled, taken aback by the sudden remark.

"Thanks. Then, after we... did you mean it? About loving me... I mean."

Jisung hesitated. Should he lie, play it down? Should he act as if he didn't know what he was talking about? He wasn't sure telling the truth would be the better thing to do but he also knew that once again, Changbin just had to ask and he would indulge.

"I did."

Changbin stumbled away, shock all over his face.

"Why are you surprised?"

Instead of answering, Changbin wrapped him in a hug. A stronger one where his arms kept me as close as they could to his body. It took me by surprise, but it would be a lie to tell he didn't like it.

"You're so precious to me, always had been."

"Why didn't you do anything before? I was so sure you wanted to sleep with me. But then you were never acting on it and some days I wondered if I imagined it or if you just wanted to hook up. And recently you've been avoiding me so much I was really lost." He fidgeted for a moment, ashamed by his confession.

Jisung blushed. "I mean... I did... but... I thought you were straight for so long, and then you suddenly started dating a man. The reason I always used to not act on it didn't hold anymore, and I felt like I wasted my chance," he admitted half-heartedly.

"Jisung, I'm so sorry. I don't think you wasted anything, cause the timing would have been wrong. There is no age to come out I know, knowing yourself takes time, but I wasn't ready to face it."

"Yeah, I've always sucked with timing, even on stage," Jisung joked humourlessly.

"No, I needed time to figure things out. And while I regret yesterday happened too fast, without thinking it through, I don't think I would have been able to fully understand my feelings if it wasn't for Wooyoung. He was so patient with me, which makes sense since he had been my best friend before anything, but I went to see him this morning and I think I'm finally ready to face it."

"And... About Wooyoung..." he asked hesitantly, the name bitter on his tongue.

"We broke up officially today."

"What? Why? How?"

"Why do you think genius?" Changbin rolled his eyes, fondness dripping from the rest of his face.

"Me?" Jisung realised in horror. "I'm so sorry..."

"Don't be, he understood. I guess?"

"Oh. That's... great?" Jisung replied, unsure. "What did he say? Is he really okay?"

"Humm... to quote him: 'I love you man, but I know what I was getting into and it's not like I didn't know you were a disaster baby gay who threw himself at the closest queer person he knew to avoid confronting his feelings too deeply.' he didn't sound upset to me."

"Oh..." Jisung helpfully replied.

"And this fucker laughed at me for ten minutes straight because I was walking funny. I hate him."

Jisung blushed at the implication. Somehow that made bubbles in his stomach.

"Are you sure it's okay?"

"For a long time, I knew it was wrong. It was bound to happen."

Jisung blinked, confused, hoping for more explanation as his heart was beating more and more, trying to get out of his chest. He couldn't even talk, waiting for Changbin to continue, like the crazy man in love he was.

"I can't continue a relationship with someone when I am so deeply in love with someone else."

Eyes wide and mouth gaping Jisung stared. He couldn't believe what he just heard. Was he dreaming again? A wonderful dream just like their night together must have been?

"If all my relationships failed, I guess it's simply because I couldn't give them the love they deserve..." Changbin chuckled and he looked at Jisung fondly, his thumb stroking his cheekbone. "Because from the start, you had it all."

Jisung's heart ached, and for the first time, not because of pain but joy.

"I'm really sorry I hurt you, though."

"More than your behaviour, I was the one to hurt myself. I isolated myself instead of facing it. I know it's stupid, I just don't know how to change it. You know... overthinking and all."

He didn't need to explain the "all" meaning too clear for both of them.

"We both have things to work on, but we'll do that together. If you'd have me, I'm ready to make amends." Changbin replied, suddenly closer.

Jisung nodded eagerly as Changbin brought him closer, pressing their forehead together. He caressed Jisung's cheek softly, his hand stopping to cup his jaw.

"Can I?"

It took nothing more than a breathy "yes" before he joined their lips to seal their promise and continue together their quest of a forever. 

*O0o._.o0O*

Annnndddd after twenty decades, this story I officially completed!!! YEAAAAAYYY
who knew I would manage to, right???

If you're here, thank you so much for following through on my rollercoaster posting and I hope you enjoyed it!
Thank you to all the ones who commented while I was writing I'm pretty sure this story would have been abandoned without you <3333

I've a bunch of other stories in the making but not sure when they'll see the light

so until then, you can always reach me on Twitter 

I often post prompts and polls to decide what to write next!