Heart Puzzle [BinSung] (completed)

Part 7.1

These days, Jisung hadn't been home as much. It was stupid and very unlike him who was a homebody at heart, but that was the only solution he found to work on his unwanted feelings.

He spent hours in the gym - which started to be evident on his body - or locked in the studio. He often stayed in practice rooms after rehearsal, just for the sake of avoiding confrontations.

He often ended up on his phone, cuddled up on the sofa, until it was late enough to safely assume he could go back to the dorms without crossing paths with anyone.

It worked pretty well as a distraction for a while, but he started to feel lonely. He never felt distressed while hiding up in his room why did it suddenly tear him apart?

Probably because in his room, despite being alone, he was surrounded by the members, by their affection. He managed to get the space he had aimed for but ended up distancing himself from all his friends as well.

Jisung might be an introvert, he never dealt too well with abandonment, even if he created it himself.

For the first time in a while, he thought to go back to the dorm relatively early after a rather quiet day of practice. The idea of going to his dorm, to be forced to face Changbin only to realise his efforts to move on had been useless was haunting him.

He wasn't ready to admit how much of a failure he was, unable to work on his emotions without bringing everyone down with him.

He was aware of the dark pulls his anxiety had on his thoughts, but it became harder to control them. At times he felt like drowning, the members were usually the ones to pull his head out of the water.

In a short moment of clarity, he decided to go to the other dorm. Few people came close to Minho when it came to battling dark thoughts. He was less cautious than most people with his words, borderline pitiless sometimes, but his strange ways had always been comforting for Jisung.

It didn't take long to reach the dorm, and he managed to avoid spiralling down until he arrived. All members knew each other's passcode by heart, so Jisung didn't have to wait for anyone to open the door to invite himself in.

"Hey, Jisung!" Seungmin greeted from the living room when he noticed the intruder at the entrance. "What are you doing here?"

"Is Minho hyung home?" Jisung asked instead while taking off his shoes.

He hadn't been paying attention and noticed too late their dedicated sunshine abandoning his game to cross the room and jump on his close friend.

"Jisuuuuung, undeserving twin!" Felix fake-cried while he hugged him tightly. "Long time no see!"
"I saw you yesterday," Jisung smiled, comforted by the sudden warmth.
"Yeah like three minutes before you disappeared," Felix sulked. "I don't want to agree with Changbin, but you are kinda distant recently... You weren't even there when I visited your dorm."

Jisung's smile dropped, and he opened his mouth to close it again.

"I'm sorry."
"It's okay, my sister said we are tight-knit and should let you breathe a bit. I'm trying to follow her advice," Felix pouted again.
"You talked about me with your sister?" Jisung replied surprised.
"Hey, I'm worried about you, you know..."
"Sorry..."
"No worry, mate," Felix reassured him. "But I guess you didn't come here to apologise to me."
"Oh, I was looking for Minho hyung. But maybe we can have dinner together after?"
"Hyung is in his room," Seungmin replied instead. "He hid in there most of the day cause Felix, Jeongin and I tried a new game and apparently, we were too loud."
"Thank you."
"By the way, I'm having dinner out with Hyunjin tonight. But if I had known you'd be there, I would have cancelled earlier," he said, making guilt rush into Jisung's body.
"Hearing you, it's as if I'm never around," Jisung mumbled.

His grumble made Felix smile and hug him tighter. He patted Jisung's head gently, trying to soothe him as he often did for them. The reassurance was more than welcome.

"Ain't so far from the truth, is it?" Jeongin joined in.
"You guys are mean. Then you wonder why I don't want to see you," Jisung complained jokingly.
"Sorry, not sorry hyung. I'm an honest person."

Chuckling, Jeongin decided to leave him in peace for the moment, but with the lopsided smile on his lips, Jisung could tell it was a temporary relief.

They were right, though. Jisung wasn't at fault for ignoring and leaving behind the only people who truly cared about him.

A new gleam of sadness rushed into his veins, followed by a weird sensation he was regularly feeling for a few weeks without being able to recognise it properly. His expression worried Felix who decided to scream out Minho's name to call him and hopefully change Jisung's mind.

Soon enough, the door from Minho's room opened, and the eldest walked about visibly grumpy.

"Yah, do I look like someone you call out like you're selling fish in a sea market?"
"Sorry~" Felix replied, sounding too amused to mean his words. "Jisung wanted to talk to you."
"And the screaming was needed for what?"
"Just making sure you old man hear, we never know at your age," Seungmin sniggered, interfering with the conversation.
"You don't fear for your life, do you?" Minho warned dangerously.

Seungmin laughed, pleased with the reaction and improvised a ridiculous victory dance Minho couldn't help smiling at.

"Ew, my eyes! Minho hyung is being soft!"

Jeongin's disgusted face made Jisung smile, knowing the younger wasn't thinking the words he was saying. It felt good to be in the middle of this kind of interaction again.

"These children are impossible. They really can't mind their own business," Minho sighed exaggeratedly. "You," he pointed at Seungmin, "shouldn't you be out? I was waiting for that time to leave my room."
"I'm on my way! Bye-bye!" he greeted before leaving.

Felix messed softly Jisung's hair before returning to his game, closely followed by Jeongin.