Poetry Portfolio

Water

Water:

Last night you painted my nails blue

You held my hand and painted

each of my nails cautiously

Trying to keep the paint from touching

the skin surrounding my nails.

It was quiet when you were painting them.

You put every single ounce of your love

and energy into each stroke,

so focused that we couldn't hold any conversation.

After you were done painting them

we sat and looked at our nails

Until the weight of our feelings forced us to finally talk.

I told you that I felt like I was losing you

That I felt like I was trying to grasp

onto something that I can't hold onto.

You told me that you felt like water,

that right now you were flowing freely

not having a container to hold you

and when you told me this,

I hated water.

I hated how I couldn't carry you around on the side of my backpack,

showing you the world.

I hated how I couldn't get myself to tell you that I wanted you to stay,

that instead of telling you to stay with me I told you,

"I want you to flow freely before you be with me".

After you left I hated how the tears I had fought

so hard to keep you from seeing had come thundering down,

like a flood, leaving all of the bones

we had built so hard to build eroded.

I hated how when I woke up in the morning

I saw the blue on my nails,

reminding me of the element that I could never contain.

And I hate how I know that whenever I see blue,

or hear water rushing to its next journey

I will chase that water with an empty jar

trying to catch and keep a piece of you for myself. 

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I will spend the rest of my days chasing streams if I have to