An unlikely friendship

part 22

Ant wedged the bottom of the cocktail glasses into the sand so they wouldn't topple over and moved in close to Dec,wrapping his arms around his distraught friend.

"Please tell me what's wrong Dec?" Ant pleaded "you were fine a few minutes ago"

"I...it's nothing" Dec stuttered.

"Well,that's obviously not true" Ant stated "come on mate,talk to me,I might be able to help"

Dec wiped his tear stained face with his hand,annoyed that he didn't even have a long sleeve to mop up the tears,let alone a tissue.

"You'll think I'm being stupid" Dec whispered.

"I absolutely will not think you're being stupid" Ant replied seriously "if it's something to upset you this much,then there is nothing stupid about it"

"Well..." Dec mumbled,trying to find the right words "it's just this place and...everything else,it's all just a bit...you know?"

"Overwhelming?" Ant offered helpfully.

"I guess I've used that word a lot recently haven't I?" Dec asked.

"Yeah" Ant smiled "but if it sums up how you're feeling,then you can use it as much as you like,was there anything specific that brought this on?"

"Not sure" Dec shrugged "just sitting here,being on the most beautiful island on earth,looking out to sea...it's just so peaceful and stunning and made me think about how just a few short months ago I was sleeping on the cold streets,starving and scared,it just doesn't make any sense"

"Yeah,it does" Ant smiled and gripped Dec's upper arm tightly "you went through an extremely hard time and you've come out the other side,it does happen you know"

"I just don't feel like I deserve it" Dec said quietly.

"What?" Ant asked shocked "why the hell don't you deserve it?"

"Don't know" Dec shrugged.

"So you think you're such a bad person that you deserve all the shit that you've been through?" Ant asked confused.

"I don't necessarily think I'm a bad person" Dec whispered.

"What then?" Ant pressed for an answer,trying to understand where Dec was coming from.

"I don't know" Dec sighed "I guess to go from something so awful to something so amazing just doesn't seem right,thousands of people are still homeless and will be for the rest of their lives"

He had a sudden pang of guilt over his old friend Betty from the streets,who he promised he would keep in touch with,but in reality,she hadn't even crossed his mind in weeks.

He felt awful now and vowed to himself to pop by and see her once he got home.

"Declan,look at me" Ant ordered and Dec immediately turned to face Ant.

"Now you listen to me" Ant continued "this nonsense has to stop"

"What?" Dec frowned,shocked at Ant's abruptness.

"You know what" Ant stated "you can't carry on like this...living with this guilt and the ridiculous idea that you owe the world something"

"I don't think that" Dec protested.

"Yes you do" Ant replied firmly "you've had an awful time,no one would ever argue with that and of course it has affected you deeply,but that doesn't mean things shouldn't get better for you or you somehow don't deserve for it to"

Ant paused for a moment,giving Dec a chance to reply,but he stayed silent.

"You're a good guy Dec" Ant smiled "one of life's nice guys,I saw that in you right from the beginning,you care about people and that's a good trait to have,you're kind,loving,caring,compassionate and funny and so loved,I could see that just from the short time we were in Newcastle"