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   Luna Gracie WalkerChicago, Illinois6:00pm

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Luna Gracie Walker
Chicago, Illinois
6:00pm

a month later i had my baby girl. i held her in my arms as i sat on the hospital bed. i was so tired but i get to hold my baby for the first time. her name was amanda antonia walker. her middle name was antonia because it sounded like anthony and i wanted it to be like that.

"hello, ms. walker how are you doing?" one of the doctors came in. i looked up and smiled politely.

"feeling tired"

"completely normal. is someone here to pick you up? like your husband?"

my chest felt heavy as i thought about anthony not being able to be here for his daughters birth.

"no, my husband died many months ago. his sister will be picking me up"

"i'm so sorry for your loss. i hope you're doing okay" he smiled warmly and walked out the door closing the door behind him. i'm never gonna be okay without him.

-
it's been a few days and i was able to finally go home. kayla picked me up and dropped me off at my place that me and anthony used to live at together. i put my baby's clothes on and put her in her crib that chrissy and kayla set up for me. i'm so blessed to have them.

after she was asleep i went to go and take a shower to wash my body and feel refreshed after being in the hospital for a few days. i took my baby out the crib and she started to cry. i smelled her diaper but it smelled fine so i breast fed her since she was crying from being hungry.

she was in her fuzzy pajamas and i sat down on the bed as i breast fed her. i looked down at her and saw that her eyes were closed.

god i wish you was here anthony...

after she was done i burped her and laid her down next to me for us to take a nap since i've been so tried. my arm was on her as if i was protecting her. i made sure she was comfortable and slept well. every time i looked into her eyes i saw anthonys. she really had his eyes and i loved that. it was like he was still here beside me and with our baby girl.

an hour later my phone buzzed. it was the man from the store who wanted to meet up. he said his name was elijah and he wanted to meet up for lunch.it didn't seem right. i thought about anthony but i figured to myself that we could just go as friends and stay as that.

now that he's gone i don't see myself with anybody else. it was like he was my soulmate and now he's gone. i called over kayla to watch amanda and spend some time with her while i go out for some food and she agreed. i asked kayla because it is her niece and her brother is now a part of kayla.

-
i meet elijah at the restaurant that we was eating at and took a seat across from him. we sat inside by a window and talked to each other, getting to know one another.

"i see you've had the baby. you and your husband must be very happy" the man said with a smile.

"my husband died months ago due to a shooting. so it's just me and her"

"i'm so sorry for your loss. what's your babies name?"

"amanda. i named her after my mother who passed away due to lung cancer" i frowned a bit thinking about the two people that i loved the most.

"i can't possibly imagine what you're going through" he placed his hand on mine but i moved it back and placed it on my lap.

"sorry i don't mean to offend you but i'm not ready for all that yet" i mumbled.

"it's alright i get it. so anything you want? i heard they got some good burgers" i try to force myself to smile but sadness overcame me instead.

we ordered and ate, talked and ate some more. it was hard to talk to another man like this. my heart belongs to anthony and always will.

i can't be with another man in a relationship...

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