you're the one.|| vinnie hacker

065

IMESSAGE

daniele <3
hi what's up? gimme 10 mins and i'll call you, is that okay?
5:41 pm

there it is. it's the moment of the truth.

do i really love the guy who's supposed to be my boyfriend? the guy i have been knowing for years but with who i had many ups and downs?

or i should listen to the feeling that comes up whenever i'm with vinnie, maybe?

vinnie. right. i don't even know if he has feelings for me, even the slightest.

without even realising the time passed by, that's why my phone screen lights up showing an incoming call from daniele.

"hey, i hope i didn't bother you." he says as i answer the call.

"hi, not at all, actually i have been waiting for you all day." i chuckle to hide the awkwardness.

"that's the sweetest thing i have ever heard from you since you got on the other side of the world." he says trying not to sound much rude.

i guess he has to practise a little cause it pretty sounded like it.

"hm probably, i don't remember hearing something comforting from you either." i talk back.

"this is why you called me? to make me a lecture?" he says as if he wasn't the one to have started it. "what happened to the anna i knew?"

i definitely didn't expect these words from him. have i changed? maybe, but i'm happy about it. if he can't handle it, then he's not the right one for me. 

"it's right here, maybe a little different, but you should be proud of the experience i'm going through. i live in a country where no one speaks my native language, when i got here i didn't know anyone, but fortunately i met the kindest people of all, and you're mad at me for having made it?" 

"wow slow down, i've never said that." he says suddenly calming his voice. "look, hon, i'm beyond happy for what you're achieving, i've always known you were gonna make it, i just felt like you put me aside and didn't care about me."

his lower tone of voice and his words show sincerety and pure intentions. also he could be right about me putting him aside. i didn't do it on purpose, it just happened, but the worst part is that i did nothing to fix it. 

i've been living my life here without including him, my freaking boyfriend. what kind of person am i? 

"i don't wanna blame it all on you, because i did things too." he keeps saying. "wait, don't think in a bad way, i refer to being friends again with giulia, not sticking up for you with my parents most of the times.."

"no, hey, i get that. i've not been the best girlfriend in the world, i don't know what happened, but i'm here now to try and fix things." i say as i deep breath not to freak out. "what about you though?"

"we both have not been fully committed to this relationship, but now it's not the time to complain and blame ourselves. we can still fix things by communicating and being 100% honest with each other. what do you say?" 

hearing these words make me remember the good old times, when we were in italy, enjoying our relationship without any problem, just cute moments that i would pay for to relive them all. and now i have the opportunity to right in front of me.