Broken Souls Don't Cry

Chapter 40

Sara

Sara checked to make sure the coast was clear before leaving her bedroom. Casey had started to become relentless about Kai. She knew Casey meant well and wasn't trying to intentionally hurt Sara. However, every time anyone mentioned his name Sara would go numb and lose any train of thought or the ability to pay attention.

It was a coping mechanism she had developed as a teen after she was raped by Kyle. It was easier to shut down at any mention of a name than to feel pain.

Sara knew it wasn't healthy, but she was in survival mode. Again. Kyle was likely still out there, and she knew that he wouldn't stop at just rape the next time.

She shivered as a she made a run for her car. They had received a few inches of snow the previous day and it was cold outside, the wind chill made it even worse.

Walking through the door of the shelter, Sara greeted AJ who was sitting at the front desk.

She hadn't talked to AJ since he had taken her home. He had sent her text messages, checking in with her and urging her to speak with Kai, but she had ignored all his messages. Much like she had ignored Kai's, and Christi's, her parents, and even Casey's.

Today was her first day back to work. Jerry had been kind enough to give her a few days off so she could collect her thoughts. Those were still a jumbled mess, but at least she had stopped crying. She had no more tears to cry.

She nodded at AJ before heading to the back to clock in for the day. Then she donned her apron, filled it with treats, and headed to start her rounds with the dogs. Since it was so cold outside, Sara would walk them along the back of the shelter instead of the play yard. This area was sheltered from the wind and was just warm enough to be tolerable thanks to the sun beating on the side of the building.

It wasn't ideal, but most of the dogs handled the weather fine. There were only a few who would need a sweater before going outside, Rizzo was one.

She put the sweater on him and then took him out to let him walk out some of his energy.

Back and forth, back and forth. The work was tedious enough that it kept her mind occupied from other matters.

Sara reached Ashby's kennel and stopped when she found another dog in there. A Great Dane named Tinkerbell.

Have the dogs been moved around? Sara looked around; all the other dogs had been in the same kennels as before. Sara moved down the row until she reached Bruno's kennel. It was empty. Thinking that maybe they had moved them to the stray hold area, Sara walked back there to check. They were set for adoption, but the new owner wasn't supposed to pick them up for several more weeks.

Still no Bruno or Ashby. Sara walked towards Jerry's office and found it closed. She made her way to the front desk to ask AJ.

"Where did Bruno and Ashby get put? I need to take them on their walk."

AJ looked at her, surprise on his face.

"They were adopted." AJ said, "Did Jerry not tell you? They were picked up on Sunday."

That was five days ago.

"No." She stepped back and looked around at the empty lobby. "No, he didn't tell me."

She took a deep breath and blinked a few times. New tears developed and she tried to keep them at bay.

"Sara, are you okay?" AJ asked.

"I didn't get to say goodbye to them."

Worry filled her. She was supposed to meet the adopters and help vet them to make sure the animals went to a good home.

"Who vetted them?" Sara asked.

"Jerry did. He figured you weren't ready to come in for work." AJ took hold of her hands, "They're okay. The new owner will be great with them. He said he has an entire room in his house meant for just dogs."

She nodded. At least they were finally safe, Sara thought. Even if I didn't get to say goodbye.

"I'm glad they finally made it to a home. Especially glad that they went together."

"Sara?"

She looked at AJ, the tone of his voice sparked anxiety in her.

"Please don't take this the wrong way AJ, but I really can't talk about... about him right now."

"You need to hear him out. I promise that what—"

She cut him off.

"No, AJ." Sara said firmly. She pulled her hand from his. "He broke my heart; I can barely function right now. I don't want to hear any excuses for or from him, I don't want to hear his name. I don't want to know how he's doing. He can get married to that horrible person and live his horrible life without me in it." She didn't realize that her voice had raised.

AJ's eyes were wide as he looked at her.

"I don't want or get to know anything about him anymore. That all changed the moment he decided to stick his dick inside Chelsea." She was so angry that tears were falling.

She was angry that Kai used her, tossed her aside. Angry that she let her walls come down and let him in. Angry that she let herself love him. Angry at AJ and Casey for constantly forcing this topic on her.

"I get that you are ang—" AJ started but she cut him off again.

"I can't do this. Please, leave it alone. Leave me alone." Her breaths were coming in quick, and she was going to hyperventilate if she didn't leave this conversation immediately.

Rushing outside she gasped and tried to breathe in as much air as she could.

Why can't they leave this alone? She sat down on the cold concrete and leaned back against the wall. She sobbed as her eyes closed.

After the tears stopped, Sara stood up and walked back inside. She ignored AJ's attempts to apologize. Sara quickly clocked out, grabbed her stuff, and left. She'll message Jerry on her way home and let him know that she's not ready yet. Not with AJ hounding her about him.

As Sara walked to her car, she again noticed the black car sitting across the street. Waiting. Watching.