Broken Souls Don't Cry

Chapter 45

Sara

Sara sat in her room staring out of the window while taking a break from looking at her schedule for the upcoming, and last, semester. The sun was shining bright today, even though that usually meant a bitter cold day, it was actually warmer than it had been. Casey and AJ had left for a grocery run and Sara was by herself.

A sigh left her as she fidgeted on the bed, attempting to get comfortable. That was still a difficult task. Her ribs and wrist were healing, and she had received a good report at the follow-up appointment with her doctor. Breathing and movement came a little easier now.

While her physical injuries were healing, Sara was struggling with the emotional injuries. She was trying hard not to spiral or push others way yet found herself slipping down that path. Today was another of those days.

Distraction sometimes worked, which was why she was busying herself with the upcoming semester.

Even though her attack was awful, Sara was at least glad that it had happened in-between semesters. It was allowing her a few weeks to heal. If that was the only light she could find at the end of the tunnel, then she would take it.

Her nightmares continued, but now that AJ was living with them, Sara felt awkward if she needed Casey at night. She hated interrupting them, especially if they were in the middle of something, and after she walked in on them one night, Sara had stopped asking.

Instead, Sara would busy herself, cleaning, working on her business plan, or cross-stitching, were some of the activities she would use to tire herself before attempting to sleep again.

Cross-stitching was a new hobby she found to enjoy. Her mother had given her a kit that depicted a kitten hanging from a branch with the caption Hang in There. Her mother meant well, but Sara worked on it, even if she found it tacky, and soon found the monotonous rhythm comforting.

Sara had found some cross-stitch patterns in the form of Christmas stockings and Sara purchased one to give it a try. Having a stocking made by her own hand would be fun. Who knows, if it turned out well, she may make a stocking for everyone she knows. Maybe this would be her saving grace.

Janet was in support of these activities as long as she was using it as an escape from everything else. This was where Sara struggled. It was easy to get in the rhythm of using her coping methods. Avoidance was one she preferred and was likely the reason why she had yet to talk to Kai.

She knew she needed to. It wasn't fair to him or to her to keep avoiding everything that happened. Kai wasn't guilty of cheating on her. He stayed at the hospital with her, even if she wouldn't see him. He had even spent a few nights in his truck sitting outside her apartment to make sure she was safe. Casey had taken him hot chocolate and coffee those nights. Casey had even tried to convince him to either stay on the couch or to leave.

He would do neither. He wouldn't make Sara uncomfortable by staying inside and he wouldn't leave her unprotected.

The guilt Sara felt from everything that happened weighed her down. Especially the guilt for turning Kai away.

Sara sighed again and stood up, taking care not to aggravate her injuries further. She put on her shoes and grabbed her coat before heading outside. She needed fresh air, and her daily walk was calling for her.

She walked a few laps around her building to warm up and then headed towards the nearby park. She would walk to the park, sit on the swings for a bit, and then head home.

Sara rarely ever met anyone on her path and today was no different. She reached the park and headed over to the swings. She took a deep breath, as deep as she could, before sitting down on the swing and moving herself back and forth just a little.