Broken Souls Don't Cry

Chapter 6

*****Trigger Warning. This chapter contains flashbacks to rape*****

Sara

Fingers gripped her upper arms, digging into them as she was pushed into the bed. Her protests muffled as a hard mouth pressed against hers. He wanted in but she wouldn't open her mouth. Tears came to her eyes; she didn't want this to happen, but she couldn't push him off. She shook her head, hoping to dislodge his mouth. "Relax..." he said as his voice faded away.

"Casey?" Sara called as soon as she walked in the door to their apartment. Her stomach was still uneasy, and her breathing was ragged. She needed to talk to her friend who was the only other person besides her parents who knew what happened. Quickly, she made her way to the bathroom to throw up the contents of her stomach.

"What's wrong Sara?" Casey came and sat on the floor next to her, holding her hair back so it didn't fall into the toilet.

Sara's heaves continued while tears fell from her face and her shoulders shook. It had been 3 years since she left that school, the people, the things that happened. Yet now it felt like yesterday, and she was back in her old room feeling hungover as flashes came back.

"No! Stop!" she managed to say when his mouth had left hers momentarily.

"Shut up." His hands moved from her breasts, and he shoved her to the bed, pinning her arms with his hands and he pushed her legs apart...

This thought spiral needed to stop. Breathe Sara told herself, you need to breathe. She took in a few deep breaths. She could feel Casey's hand rubbing her back in soothing, circular motions. Taking another breath Sara worked to ground herself.

Opening her eyes, she looked around. She named off five things she could see out loud.

"Good," Casey said to her "Take another deep breath and continue"

"Floor, toilet, Casey rubbing my back, my shirt" Sara said.

"Keep going Sara, you are doing great"

"Casey, people outside, a toilet flushing" Casey flushed the toilet for her and continued rubbing her hand gently on her back. "Puke, vanilla perfume" Sara's nose scrunched up. "Puke, again". She leaned back from the toilet and sat down on the floor against the vanity. Casey sat next to her with her arm around her.

Sara was glad that Casey had been home. She wasn't sure when her classes were supposed to end for the day.

"What happened Sara?" her head leaned into Sara's, "You haven't needed to ground yourself in at least a year"

Sara's eyes closed and her head leaned back against the vanity. "Remember." She started, "Remember when I told you what happened to me in high school?"

"I do"

"After, it happened" she gulped, "I was bullied by other kids in my school"

"I remember you telling me that as well," Casey leaned forward to look at her.

"There was this one kid, Kai. Apart from the actual perpetrator," She couldn't even say his name, "He bullied me the most." Sara looked at her. "Casey, he's here. The kid that bullied me is here, in my Philosophy class and I've been paired up with him for our huge project." It felt good getting that out, but the reality of the situation started filling in the empty space. "I can't do this project with him" her head shook back and forth. "Professor Larsen said that no changes would be made so I can't even ask to switch with someone else"

"S—"

"What if his friend is here as well?" Sara blurted "What do I do? I can't face him. I can't ever face him again."

"Sara," Casey calmly said, "relax" She pulled out her phone, "What was that guy's name? I will look him up on Facebook and see where he's at. Maybe that will help you"

That really wasn't a bad idea and Sara was thankful for the cool headedness of her friend. "K-Kyle H-Hastings" she managed to say. It was quiet while Casey looked for him.

"Found him!" She exclaimed, "Well, pretty sure this is him seeing as you have a couple things in common." She looked through his profile. "It says here that he is currently in Connecticut going to Yale for a business degree"

Sara's shoulders relaxed and she felt a little bit better knowing that he was two thousand miles away. "Good. Now how do I handle my project and my partner?"

"Well," Casey said standing up and offering her hand to Sara, "Tell me about him, let's see if we can come up with some... retribution" Sara took her hand and stood up.

"I don't really want retribution, especially if it will get in the way of doing well on our project."

"True," Casey thought for a few more moments, "I'm sure we can think of something. So, tell me about him" by then they had moved to the couch and sat down.

Sara told her what she knew of Kai, the majority of it stemming from high school. He was the star basketball player, was really tall, even in high school.

"And how is he now?" Casey asked curiously.

"Well, I only got a glimpse of him, but he's even hotter than when we were in high school." She tossed her head back on the couch, "He's grown a couple inches and probably around 6'4", black hair, sea blue eyes, muscles the size of these mountains. He could probably bench press them if he wanted to."

"He sounds dreamy," Casey responded with a sigh, then snapped herself back, "But, all that aside, maybe this will be good for you. Maybe you can clear the air with him – "

"I am not going to tell him what happened, ever" She cut Casey off, "Not like he would believe me anyways. I don't want him to be my friend, and I don't want a boyfriend until after graduation. I want this project over with so I can go back to my life without him in it every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoons."

"You could make him fall in love and then break his heart" Casey suggested.

"What? On what planet would that ever be considered a good idea?" Sara scoffed. "I doubt he's even into girls like me"

"Perhaps not," Casey agreed, "But you'll never know until you try."

True, Sara thought. This plan was ridiculous though. He would never fall for someone like her, would he?

"Sorry. I can't do something like that. I haven't been on a date since I was seventeen. I'm not even good at flirting"

Sara's phone chimed with an email notification. Contact information for Kai.

"Well just think about it" Casey said with a smirk.