Anger Management

Chapter 38: Origins of Petunia and Standing up to 'bullies'

“Mind if I sit?” Eli asks me as he approaches the swing set. I don’t say anything as I gesture to the empty swing next to me my eyes focused on my feet. I was so over it all that I didn’t even have the energy to fend him off. 

“So that was pretty wild back there huh?” I once again remain quiet, Eli’s question is met with silence my thoughts too busy clouding my mind at the moment. Getting the hint that I’m not in the mood to talk he doesn’t ask any more questions, instead, he begins to propel his legs out and in getting his swing to move. I watch him as he gains more and more momentum before he’s going so high I bet he could see over the top of the pole. He lets out a whoop, a laugh escaping his throat as he keeps going. Back and forth. Back and forth. He catches me watching him and he smiles at me, his face a blur as he continues to swing. I feel a small smile form on my own face before I turn my attention back to the woodchips. After a couple more minutes Eli begins to slow down the creaking of the metal slowing and dragging out longer disturbing the night. 

“Man I hadn’t been on one of these things in forever! What a rush!” Eli exclaims making me snort. He was such a little kid at heart. We settle back into silence but this time it's more comfortable. I feel some of the tension in my neck ease up and I lean my head against one of the metal chains helping the swing float. 

“Can I ask you something?” I say in a barely audible voice but of course, Eli hears me as he hums out a response.  “I never got why you fell in love with me. I mean it’s not like I’m super nice to you, and I always try to get away from you when you come to visit.” Gosh, that made me sound like a horrible person. Eli simply chuckles the sound deep and round as he looks up at the night sky. He lets out a sigh before turning his attention fully on me a serious look overtaking his features. 

“Do you know why I call you Petunia?” He asks me completely ignoring my own question. I roll my eyes at his obvious antics before thinking about the question. 

“Because you like to see me age 10 years in one second?” I throw out making him full-on belly laugh. I glance at him from the corner of my eye his head thrown back in pure amusement making his jaw more pronounced. I sometimes forgot that he was only a year younger than Riley and me, well now two years younger but he would be turning seventeen in January so really it was one. I guess I did have to admit I always wondered about the nickname. It was so random and I always tried to figure out what the point was when he started addressing me that way when we were younger. 

“Aww you’re so cute but no. I call you petunia because of the symbolism.” He tells me as he slowly pushes off the ground making the swing move back and forth. 

“The symbolism?” 

“Yeah, it symbolizes soothing nature, resentment, and anger.” 

“Well dang, most of that is bad stuff! Why would you name me something so negative?” I ask him slightly offended. 

“Well In my eyes it wasn’t bad. Whenever you’re angry it's usually about something you care about or are passionate about. It's something I’ve always admired about you. Like, remember that time those kids in middle school had started to mess with us, and instead of backing down you got in front of me and told them to back off? I mean they ended up pushing us both down but it was the thought that counted.” 

“Hey just because I could voice my disapproval, it didn’t mean I had the muscle power to back it up!” I told him giving him a light punch in the arm. He laughs again not even tending to the arm that I just punched him in. 

“Anyways your lack of muscle power is beside the point. You just have something special about you that not many people possess. You care about people unconditionally no matter their flaws or wrongdoings.” I look at Eli wide-eyed not sure how to take what he was telling me. He was being so serious his eyes burning into mine the sincerity so overwhelming. It was as if at this moment my eyes finally saw the whole picture. Eli suddenly became older, more mature. Yeah, he already looked the part. I couldn’t ignore the muscle he had, how tall he managed to grow within one year, his extremely long eyelashes framing his always joyful eyes. At this moment though I saw that he was actually a young adult. I could no longer ignore that he was not seven years old but at the same level of maturity as me. I feel water start to pool in my eyes the realization hitting me so hard. He gives me a small smile his eyes taking on a more sad look before he looks down at his hands turning away from facing me.