Revenge Has Its Benefits (Il Dottore x Fem! reader)

13.

you yawned as you lifted yourself up from your bed. your eyelids felt heavy and swelled from crying the day earlier.

almost every morning you'd been waken up by Dottore, but he didn't show up this morning. you didn't think anything of it and got up to get ready.

you felt weird, mostly because the change in feelings about Dottore's dumb forehead kiss. last night you were embarrassed, but today you were pissed.

he's your boss, why the fuck would he do that? you had the urge to punch him in his stupid masked face. when you saw him, you were going to threaten him.

you got yourself ready and headed to the kitchen. "good morning, darling! you were sleeping pretty peacefully, i didn't want to wake you. we're going to leave soon!" he said cheerfully.

your angry expression made him scrunch his eyebrows. you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him forward. his face was merely inches from yours.

"oh, you want more, darling? let me take off my mask first-" he tried to push away to take off his mask but you held him tight. "don't you ever pull that shit again. you hear me?" you warned strictly.

"what- fine." Dottore accepted. you let his collar go. "we are going back to Snezhnaya today darling!" Dottore attempted to change the subject. you simply nodded and went on with getting breakfast.

you reached in the cupboard and took out a cereal box. you froze and decided to speak again.

"you dare have the nerve to kiss me after killing about 7 people in front of me.." you slightly raised your voice. "darling-" "don't fucking call me that again." you yelled.

"you did it to me! you fucking kissed me first!" he retorted. "at that point i didn't watch you fucking murder people for no goddamn reason!" you snapped back.

"i did it for you.. they hurt you.." he whispered, just low enough so you couldn't hear. you felt as if you needed to know so you gripped his chin harshly.

you pulled his face closer swiftly. "say that again, darling." you threatened. this was the first time you'd seen Dottore scared, and it was of you.

"i did it for you." he said a bit louder. "you think i wanted that?" you truly didn't know how you felt about him at this point.

"do you think the Fatui is peaceful? you've been doing this for years, why are you angry?" he snapped.

you softened your hold on his chin while thinking. he was right, why were you suddenly so scared? you've seen death for years.

the only answer that could come to mind was something you never wanted to say to yourself. because it was him doing it.

over the time you spent together, you've grow close. seeing him so different than what you were used to terrified you.

you truly believed that he was a good and normal person for a while. you were in denial that he did all these horrible things.

your tolerance to the Fatui had grown. you used to hate the Fatui. he changed you. even though they killed your brother, you were finally becoming fond of them. you hated it.

you let him go and continued making your cereal in silence. he stood there in shock, staring at you with wide eyes.

"i've really changed you haven't i, darl- i mean y/n." he stuttered before leaving the room.

you zoned out while holding the half-empty box in your hand. once you snapped out of it, you put it back. after that, you lost your appetite.

~~~~

it was about noon when Dottore finally came out of his room. he carried 2 suitcases in his arms and he had a large smile on his face.

his eyes majorly contrasted with his smile. his eyes showed he was still scared of you, and worried on what to say as to not make you mad. what a baby.

you were sitting in the living room doing some paperwork when he came out. "you should pack now darl-" you shot him an intense stare to warn him not to finish the word. "ahem, y/n, we leave in 10 minutes." he stuttered and his smile faded.

you sat up and stepped past him without saying a word. you entered your room to see all of your stuff already packed in suitcases on the bed. you swirled around to see Dottore standing in the doorway with a smirk.

"why?" you said with a confused and angry stare. "because i'm nice, and i'm not a monster as you say i am." he responded with pride. his tone was cautious, yet he still expected a rude response from you.

"thanks." you said quietly, averting your gaze. a smile formed on his face and he was about to tease you, but he decided against it. how could such a ruthless man be so scared of you..

you grabbed the heavy bags and followed him out the door. the silence was nearly suffocating so you opened your mouth to talk, but nothing came out. Dottore just happened to look back at this.

"what, you have something to say, dear?" he smirked. you stared coldly at him. "i thought i told you not to call me that." you threatened. "no, you said not to call you darling, you didn't say anything about dear!" he chuckled.

"same thing, asshole." you said while moving faster, hitting him on the shoulder with yours while passing him. you swung the carriage door open and hopped in.

Dottore eventually got in, but you were facing away into the window. he was too scared to talk to you, so you both stayed silent. you just had no desire to talk.

the carriage arrived at the docks, and a large boat was waiting for you both. you exited the vehicle and brought your bags with you. you didn't wait for Dottore to catch up with you, and walked up the ramp to the door.

"Fatui I.D.?" the guard asked. "i'm with Il Dottore." you stated. he immediately let you through after seeing Dottore running after you. you didn't look back at Dottore and just went into your room.

"y/n, please stop. it's my job. you knew this." Dottore said breathlessly from running after you. you simply stared at him while half in the doorway. this time, it wasn't an angry stare. it was a depressed stare.

you glanced at the scar on your shoulder from when you fought, and returned your eyes back to him. "i guess.. i did." you said while tears welled up in your eyes. you turned into the room and shut the door.

the tears spilled but your expression remained indifferent. why would you do this to yourself..