LOVE DOULOGY 1: Entangled Heartstrings

CHAPTER 14

Chapter 14

“Anong gusto mong pag-usapan natin?” I asked.

Lumabas kami ng library at tumambay sa may bench ng court. I don't know what she's up to. Pero isa lang naman ang alam kung maaari naming pag-usapan, walang iba kundi si Lance.

“Funny how I thought he loves me,” she spatted and curved a fake smile on her lips. She eyed me deeply, “ikaw rin pala talaga ang pipiliin niya sa huli.”

“Lance loves you,” I argued.

She chuckles, “maybe yes? But not as much as how he loves you.”

“Bakit mo ba sinasabi iyan?”

“I want you to take care of him. Since ikaw ang pinili niya, alagaan mo siya. Mahalin mo siya higit sa kung paano ko siya minahal.”

I chuckles. “No need to tell me that.”

“Yeah. Oo nga pala at nakalimutan kong ikaw ang girlbestfriend niya, ang taong nakakaalam ng lahat sa kanya, ang taong minahal na siya bago paman ako dumating. Right?”

Ngumiti ako ng tipid at tumayo. “You know what Elly? Busy pa ako, see you around.” I said and turned my back on her.

But before I could walked away, she called me by my name reason why I glanced and confronted her again.

“Katulad niya, you also need to choose. Hindi yong pinapaasa mo si Ashton kahit ang totoo ay si Lance parin naman talaga ang mahal mo,”

My heart skipped a beat after hearing that. My throat ran dry and I couldn't process any words. Natulala akong napatingin sa kanya hanggang sa ngumiti siya nang may halong pang-iinis. I sighed heavily and turned my back, only to see Ashton with his weak eyes.

“Tama ba ang narinig ko Havannah,” he questioned me.

Elly on my back chucked devilishly. “Omg! You're here Ashton, my bad, sa akin mo pa tuloy narinig ang totoo.” She laughed again.

“A-ashton,”

Ashton shook his head and a tears fall on his cheeks then he started to walked away. Pain throbbed inside my ribcage as I see him walking weakly. Agad akong tumakbo at sinundan siya. Hinila ko ang braso niya at pinaharap sa akin.

“Ashton, I'm sorry,” I sincerely said with the tears falling on my cheeks.

He looks up and massaged the bridge of his nose, trying to stop himself from crying but he failed. He eyed me with a tears evident on his cheeks. Pagkatapos ay umiling siya at hinawakan ang magkabilang balikat ko at marahan iyong minasahe.

“No, no Havannah, you don't need to say sorry. It's my decision to love you, wala kang kasalanan please, I don't want to see you cry.”

Hindi ko napigilan ang sariling yakapin siya ng mahigpit at humikbi sa dibdib niya. I feel so sorry for hurting a man like him.

“Sorry, sorry talaga Ashton. Nagbabakasakali lang naman akong makalimutan ko siya.”

“But you failed right? Kasi mahal mo siya at hanggang ngayon ay siya parin ang laman ng puso mo.” Mahinang sabi niya habang marahang hinahaplos ang likuran ko.

Humiwalay ako mula sa pagkakayakap sa kanya at hinawakan ang mga kamay niya. And using my right hand, I caressed his right cheek and wipe away his falling tears.

“You don't deserve a girl like me, Ashton.”

He closed his eyes tightly and held my hand on his cheek. He gently squeezed it. “Don't ever say that. Alam ko namang sa simula palang talo na ako. Sinubukan ko lang kasi mahal kita. You are my moon, Havannah.”

“Ashton,”

“I love you so much that's why I tried even though right from the start I know I will never win.”

“Sorry Ashton, sorry kung pinaasa kita.”

Umiling siya at hinawakan ang dalawang kamay ko, “It's my fault, ako ang nagpaasa sa sarili ko, hindi ikaw.” He then smiled. “But you're free now. Go and chase your star. I love you and I want to see you happy, even if it hurts me, as long as my moon is happy.”

“I just want you to know that I will always be there if you need me, okay? I am still the Ashton that loves you.”

I hugged him once again. He deserves to be loved. A heart like him is rare. He deserves to be treated like a king, not an option. I hope soon, he'll find a girl who will make his life more colorful, a girl whom he deserves to have. Kasi hindi ako iyon.

Naglakad palayo si Ashton matapos iyon habang malungkot ko lang siyang tinitingnan. Hindi dapat sinasaktan at pinapalaya ang isang tulad niya pero hindi ko rin kayang magpanggap na kaya ko siyang mahalin kung alam ko sa sarili kong si Lance ang mahal ko.

Tama narin sigurong ipahinto ko na siya sa panliligaw sa akin kaysa naman paasahin ko siya sa wala.

Umuwi ako nang walang gana. Maaaring hindi ko minahal si Ashton ngunit sobrang sakit para sakin ang makita siyang lumuluha at nasasaktan nang dahil sa akin. Kung pwede lang sanang diktahan ang puso kung sino ang mamahalin, bakit hindi si Ashton diba? Ashton is everything. But again, we are in reality, that we can't stopped our heart from it's desire.

Naglalakad ako nang may itim na kotseng huminto sa tapat ko at bigla akong nilapitan ng dalawang lalaki at pinilit na ipasakay sa kotseng iyon.

Kumalabog ng husto ang dibdib ko sa takot at kaba. Nanlaban ako ngunit malakas sila, sinubukan kong sumigaw ngunit agad naman nilang tinakpan ang bibig ko. Wala akong ibang nagawa kundi ang magpatangay sa dalawang lalaking iyon.

“Tang-ina, san nyo ako dadalhin?!” I shouted.

Nagwala ako sa loob ng sasakyan nila ngunit hindi parin sila natinag. Maya maya pa ay linagyan ng piring ang mga mata ko at mahigpit na hinawakan ang kamay ko ng lalaking nasa tabi ko. My heart boomed faster. Naiiyak na ako dahil sa takot sa kung anong pwedeng mangyari sa akin.

Maya maya pay naramdaman kong huminto ang sasakyan. Dahan dahan ay binaba ako ng katabi ko. Nagwala ulit ako sa labas ng kotse ngunit ang lakas nila. Nagpatianod nalang ako sa kung saan nila gustong pumunta.

“Andito na tayo,” the other man stated.

“Mga hayop kayo! Magbabayad kayo sa gagawin nyo sakin tandaan nyo yan!”