LOVE DOULOGY 1: Entangled Heartstrings

CHAPTER 38

Chapter 38

Hapon ng araw na iyon nang tumawag si Lance at sinabing gusto nya akong makausap. I know why, I know it's about Clark. I never had the chance earlier to say the truth because I'm scared of what would be my son's reaction. Kaya nang tawagan ako ni Lance ay pumayag ako.

I'm not sure if this is the right time to tell him the truth but I know, I need to do this.

I am still fixing myself when he arrived on our house. Kaya agad akong nagmadali at tinapunan ng huling tingin ang sarili sa salamin. I'm just wearing a sleeveless fitted cropped top and a maong jeans. Naka flat sandals lang rin ako dahil hindi ko naman alam kung saan kami pupunta.

"Asus, tama na yan ate.. Palagi ka namang maganda sa paningin ni Kuya Lance," biro pa ni Hannah.

"Tumahimik ka nga,"

"Hannah is right, you're so beautiful to me whatever you're wearing. Damn wife, you're really effortlessly gorgeous," Komento pa ni Lance, uminit naman kaagad ang pisngi ko.

Bahagya rin akong nagulat nang makitang nilalaro nya ang anak ko, nang tingnan ko si Mama at Papa ay palihim nila akong pinandilatan. They already told me the last day to tell Lance the truth.

"Mommy? Where are you going?" Malambing na tanong ng anak ko.

I chuckled and crouched, I gave him a soft kiss on his cheeks. "Somewhere baby, we have important things to do,"

"With daddy?"

I got stiffened with what I heard, I felt my body frozed and my heart palpitates so fast. When I glanced at Lance and gave him a puzzled look, he just shrugged his shoulders.

"Uhm, w-what do you mean baby?" I provoked a fake chuckles.

Clark smiled at me, "Why mommy? Is it bad? He said he wanted me to call him anything I want... And besides mom, everyone will believe that he's my dad! Look at us mom," he paused and move his face closer to Lance's face. "We're both handsome!" He chuckles.

"Oo nga.. Actually, kahapon ko pa napansing kahawig kami, pinaglihi mo siguro siya sa akin, noh?" Lance chuckles while I remained speechless.

"Tara na nga!" I paused and eyed my son again, "Baby, we're going na. Can you gave mommy a kiss?"

Agad naman itong ngumiti at pinatakan ako ng halik sa pisngi ko. I smiled and gave him to his tita Hannah. Nagpaalam na rin kaagad kami kay Mama at Papa habang ako ay hindi mawari kung ano ang gagawin sa sobrang kaba.

"Ako ba? Pwedeng pahingi rin ng kiss? Nagseselos ako," Hirit ni Lance nang makalabas kami.

My face heated and I spatted his shoulders. He just chuckles and opened the door of his car for me. I sighed heavily before I slid myself inside.

Wala akong imik habang bumabyahe, kinakabahan ako sa kung ano ang pwedeng maging reaksyon ni Lance kapag sinabi ko na ang totoo. Paano kung kamuhian niya ako? Hindi ko ata makakaya iyon.

We arrived in a quite place, he parked his car at the parking zone at the side of this small road. Tinanggal ko ang seatbelt, si Lance naman ay lumabas ng kotse at umikot para pagbuksan ako.

Dahan dahan ay lumabas ako ng kotse. Mga punong kahoy ang nakikita ko, maaliwalas at mahangin. It's quite relaxing.

"Where are we?" I asked, confused.

He genuinely smiled at me and offered his hands. Bumilis naman ang tibok ng puso ko habang nakatingin sa nakalahad niyang kamay.

"Are you ready? Let's go?" He sweetly whispered instead of answering me.

I nodded and accepted his hand. He hold me tenderly and intertwined our fingers, my eyes bore on our hands as my heart pounded very fast and I felt a butterflies bugging my stomach. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam.

Naglakad kami papasok sa isang maliit na daan, ang gilid nito ay may mga puno ng mangga na syang nagsisilbing payong sa araw. Tahimik lang ako at sinusunod ang mahihina niyang yapak, alam kong sinasadya nya iyon dahil maliliit ang mga hakbang na ginagawa ko.

"Come on wife, let's be fast so we can see the sunset,"

Pakiramdam ko ay singpula na ng kamatis ang mukha ko habang binibilisan ang mga hakbang ko. I remember the ring, I already gave it back to him years ago. I already putted in my mind that we're not engaged anymore. Pero siya, ni hindi niya inisip na nagkahiwalay kami. Up until now, he still loves to call me his wife.

As we go closer, excitement filled me. The splashing of the waves, the chirping of the birds is to be heard. Mas lalo naming binilisan ang mga hakbang namin habang magkahawak parin ang aming mga kamay. At nang sa wakas ay nakita ko na ang kabuuan ng dagat ay napamaang ang labi ko ang labis na namangha. The sun is about to set!

"Oh my god, look Lance! The sun is about to set!"

Nagulat ako nang akbayan nya ako, nagkatitigan kami at huminto ang mga mata ko sa mga labi nya. He slowly crouched, my heart keep on beating so fast as he crashed his lips to mine.

I closed my eyes and feel the warmth and softness of his lips and in the moment he let go of my lips and we both eyed the sky, my eyes glittered upon seeing the beautiful sunset. Damn, ganito pala ang tamang paraan ng panonood ng sunset.

Maya maya pa ay huminga sya ng malalim kaya nagsimula akong kabahan.

"Wife... S-si C-clark, is he my s-son?" Nauutal at kinakabahang saad niya.

"L-lance,"

He holds my hand and gently squezzed it, "Please wife, I'm begging you. Tell me the truth... You know what, the first moment I saw Clark, my heart and my mind already knew that he's my son. Ramdam na ramdam ko, Havannah. Kaya nagmamakaawa ako, aminin mo... Did I got you pregnant before you left?"

Sumungaw ang luha sa mga mata ko nang makitang may luhang dumaloy sa mga pisngi niya. I moved my hands to his face and wiped his tears using my thumbs.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I left, I'm sorry if I hide our son to you,"

Nakita ko kung paano dumaan ang saya sa mga mata niya kahit may luha ito.

"He's really my son? Oh my god, wife, I have a son!"

"We have a son, Lance." I smiled.

But his tears didn't stop. He looked away that made me confused. He then held my hands again.

"Bakit mo tinago? Bakit hindi mo ako sinabihan? Wife, did you know how much I hate myself now?" He paused. "Sising sisi na nga ako na sinunod ko ang gusto ni Elly, ngayon nadagdagan iyon... N-nung nagbuntis ka, w-wala ako sa tabi mo. Ni h-hindi kita nasuportahan, ni hindi ko nasaksihan ang pagsilang ng anak ko... Do you know how I feel so useless as a father and as your p-partner? I'm so fucking useless!"

Sumikip ang dibdib ko nang makita kung gaano kabilis napalitan ang kasiyahan sa mukha niya ng kalungkutan. Pareho na kaming humahagulhol ngayon, napadaosdos sya habang umiiyak at napaluhod sa buhangin. Gusto ko sana siyang hilahin patayo ngunit ang bigat nya kaya lumuhod na rin ako at dinamayan siya. His shoulders shake because of being emotional. A tears fall on my eyes as I hugged him tightly.

He sobs and hugged me back, he rested his chin on my shoulder and cried more, showing me his vulnerable side.

"You're not useless okay? I was just so lost with myself those times Lance, walang wala ako. Galit din ako nung mga panahong iyon... Hindi ba dapat mas pinagtutuunan natin ng pansin ang ngayon, kesa sa nakaraan?" I paused and caressed his cheeks. Yumuko ako at inabot ang mga labi niya at binigyan siya ng matamis na halik.

"I love you," I whispered. "Hindi pa naman huli ang lahat, iyong iyo na kami ng anak natin, hubby."