Chapter 29
The celebration ended for just a few hours. Kaunting salo salo, inuman at kwentuhan lang naman. Nakisabay rin ako bilang pasasalamat sa pagpunta nila ngunit kaunti lang ang ininom ko. At nang matapos ang selebrasyon ay unti unti nang nagsialisan ang mga bisita.
I smiled wider when I saw Jennisa walking towards me while carrying my son. Kanina niya pa ito nilalaro, mukhang aliw na aliw nga siya kay Clark.
“I'm going Havannah, thank you for inviting. Congratulations again! Anyways, I had so much fun with this cute little baby boy,” she giggled and pinched the cheek of my son.
Saglit kong ipinakarga si Clark kay Mama para ihatid ang kaibigan sa labas. Ayaw ko na kasing isama si Clark dahil gabi na at baka lamigin pa siya ng todo. Sabay kaming lumabas ni Jennisa ng bahay habang todo daldal siya sa kaaliwan sa anak ko.
“Havannah?” Jennisa called meanwhile.
I raised my brows at her when her expression softened.
She sighed and looked for my hands and held it, “Don't get me wrong, okay? But don't you think Clark needs to know about his father?”
Agad akong natigilan sa tanong niya at biglang nag-iwas ng tingin, hindi ko alam kung papaano ko siya sasagutin. Dahil ako mismo sa sarili ko hindi ko alam kung ano ang sagot ko sa tanong na yan.
She squezzed my hands gently, “H-havannah, I'm not meddling with you and your decision. But I am very concern with Clark. He's growing already, he deserves to know the truth. And also, your ex has the rights to know that he has a child with you.”
Medyo nahihilo at gulong gulo ang isipan ko nang makabalik ako sa loob ng bahay. My mind clouded with so many thoughts that I didn't know how to express it myself. Lance bumped in to my mind and I wonder how he's doing with his life now.
Kinuha ko si Clark kay Mama para patulugin na muna ang bata. Karga karga ko si Clark hanggang sa kama namin, hinubad ko ang kanyang damit bago siya dalhin sa shower para paliguan. Bibong bibo pa rin ang anak ko ngunit ngiti lang ang naisusukli ko sapagka't okupado ang isipan ko. Jenissa's words has been embedded on my mind and I could hear her voice again and again.
“M-mommy, are you o-okay?” My son's cute voice stopped me from thinking.
I smiled and nodded, “ofcourse baby, mom is okay.”
“But why you're so quite mommy?”
Tumawa ako at pinisil ang tungki ng ilong niya. My heart melted, my son really knew me already. Tinapos ko ang pagpapaligo sa kanya pagkatapos ay inilukob ko sa katawan niya ang isang tuwalyang pambata na may design ni Stitch. Pagkatapos nun ay binihisan ko na siya ng pampatulog na pajamang kulay asul na may design rin na Stitch. Stitch is one of his favorite cartoons.
“Stay right here baby, okay? I'll just get your milk,” pagpapaalam ko sa bata.
Clark nodded, “Okay mommy,”
Agad akong pumunta sa kusina para ipagtimpla ng gatas si Clark. Speaking of my son's expenses, I covered it all. Paminsan minsan ay tinutulungan ako ng pamilya ko. Nagamit ko ang mga naipon kong pera noon sa bangko nang maipanganak ko si Clark at ang mga ginagastos ko sa gatas at diapers niya. That's why I'm grateful that I already finished school. Kaunting kaunti nalang, may trabaho na ako.
Bumalik ako ng kuwarto at pinainom si Clark ng gatas, humihikab na rin ito tanda na inaantok na nga ang bata. After he finished his milk, I tuck him to bed. I dimmed the lampshade beside our bed and lie next to my son.
Hinihimas ko ang buhok niya habang kinakantahan siya.
“Mommy? What happened to Princess Vanny and Prince Lancelot?”
Natigilan ako sa tanong niya. Hindi ko alam na naaalala niya pa pala ang kinuwento ko sa kanya noon. My heart beats faster after hearing his question.
“So, you still remember that story?”
Clark smiled widely, “Ofcourse mommy, that's my favorite story.”
Uncertainly, tears pooled from my eyes. I wonder what would be my son's reaction when he knew that it's me and his father, behind that story.
I chuckles bitterly, “Would you believe if I'll say that they have a child?”
Sa gulat ni Clark ay bumalik siya sa pag upo sa kama at hinarap ako. “Really mom? But I thought they broke up?”
I smiled, “It's a long story Clark, I'll tell you some other time. But for now, let's sleep okay?”
He nodded and lie back to the bed. Kinumutan ko siya ng maayos at pinatakan siya ng halik sa noo, huminga ako ng malalim at humiga na. My eyes slowly closed, but my gist are still awake. My mind is started to overthink again.
“M-mommy, you still awake?”
Natigilan ako nang marinig ang boses ng anak ko. My mother's instinct tells me that something is bothering with my son. Bumangon ako at kinarga ang anak, hinawakan ko ang magkabilang pisngi niya at sinuklay ang buhok niya gamit ang mga daliri ko.
“Clark baby, what's wrong? Is something bothering you? Come on, tell mommy,”
“Tita Jennisa asked me earlier mom, if I had thought of having a father,” Diretsang sagot ng bata.
I got stiffened at my son's statement, nervousness started to travelled on my system. Nangangamba sa posibleng itatanong pa ni Clark. At hindi nga ako nagkamali, mas lalo akong natigilan sa sumunod niyang tanong.
“Mom, where's my dad?”
“C-clark,” I startled, losing out of words.
“Why he's not here? Mom, where's my father? Does he love us?” He asked once more.
Huminga ako ng malalim at hinawakan ang mga kamay niya at marahang pinisil iyon. My son is really growing. Alam kong darating kami sa puntong ito, na hahanapin niya ang ama niya sa akin. Ngunit hindi ko ito napaghandaan. I don't know what to say and do.
“C-clark, b-baby, do you want to know your dad?”
As my son nodded and tears roll down on his cheeks. Kumikirot at sumasakit ang puso ko habang tinitingnan ang anak kong lumuluha. Bumuhos na rin ang luha sa mga mata ko at yinakap ang anak ko.
“I want dad, I want him,”
BINABASA MO ANG
LOVE DOULOGY 1: Entangled Heartstrings
Roman d'amourCOMPLETED We all dream of being loved back by the ones we adore. But fate often has a cruel way of making us fall for those we can never have. Havanna Claire Martinez is hopelessly, secretly, and passionately in love with her best friend, Lance Zand...
