𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 - 𝐑𝐚𝐲 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 - 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐄𝐃!

✧ Incorrect Quotes One ✧

Ray: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Norman : Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Emma: I personally was created in a lab.
Y/n: I just straight up spawned lol.

Ray, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Norman , pulling out an Uno card: +4
Emma, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Y/n, trembling: What are we playing

Emma: Norman, is that my mug you're drinking out of?
Norman: No, it's mine.
Emma: It... looks just like the one I have...
Norman: You don't have one like this anymore.

Y/n, furious: What do you mean we have homework tonight? I have books to read.

Draco: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-
Y/n: You sleep with a teddybear.
Draco: He's my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

Norman: "Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin
Ray: What the fuck? Begets isn't a word. Quit trying to make up words, fuckface.

Emma: Ducks are better than rabbits.
Draco: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks.
Norman: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey.
Draco: We're not talking about flavour, Norman!
Norman: Flavour counts!
Draco: Who carries around a duck's foot for good luck? Anyone?
Ray: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I'll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers! Who's cozier?
Draco: Okay, but-
Ray: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO'S COZIER?
Norman: Then why don't we take a rabbit, a duck, stick 'em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out!
Draco: BECAUSE IT'S ILLEGAL, NORMAN!
Norman: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, DRACO!
Emma: I- Jesus-

Ray: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

Ray: ...I'm pretty sure that place is fire-proof, or something.
Ron, grenade in hand: Alright, but is it explosion-proof?

Ron: If I see a bug, I simply leave the room elegantly and require someone else do something about it.
Ron: If no one fulfills my wish, I simply never go back in there

Harry: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.
Harry: And I started thinking.
Harry: Like, it was just trying to get food.
Harry: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?
Hermione: Are you ok?

Ron: Can I have some water?
Y/n: *starts chugging their water bottle*
Y/n: *chokes from drinking too fast*
Y/n: *spills water all over themself*
Y/n, coughing: I don't have any water.

Y/n: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges.

Harry: I know every song to ever exist it doesn't matter if it's from the past, present or the future.
Emma: Oh yeah? Then continue this.
Emma: I don't cook I don't clean-
Harry: So let me tell you how I got this ring.
Harry & Emma: .....
Harry & Emma: GOBBLE ME, SWALLOW ME-

Y/n: How is spring not everyone's favorite season? The trees are PINK, guys!
Ron: Allergies are also a problem, y'know.
Y/n: But pink.
Emma: And it's hot.
Y/n: PINK!

Harry: You know what I've realized?
Hermione: Some thoughts are better left unsaid?
Harry: Nice try, anyways-

Y/n, taping a knife onto a Roomba: Be free, my child.
Harry, entering the room with a small cut on their ankle: Who the f-

Draco: Ron, get that hidious thing out of the living room, would you?
Ron: Emma, Draco wants you to get out of the house.

Y/n: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I'm somehow always feeling both simultaneously.