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Life seemed to go on, I have my dream job at one of the best publishing firms in the country, my social life is getting better, I am hanging out with Naledi, Kash and George more,  I tell myself that I should be happy. I mean to have great friends who have given me supportive friendships, I have a great work environment that allows me to bring forth my vision and create art that inspires me but I feel empty.

Ri stopped calling, it is not that our conversations grew shorter, she just stopped. It hurts. I told myself I need to get over her but I can not seem to get over my boss, she is indeed still my boss.

Mrs Jones's sickness has gotten worse, she is visibly sick, Naledi and I tend to her every need, we have planned our schedules around taking care of her. She hired a nurse but we needed to be here, we loved the opportunity to be here for her. 

She is currently asleep. Naledi and I are watching TV.

"What is with the extra-long face?"

"My mind has been running everywhere today."

"Ri?"

"Ri."

"I thought you said things were over, this time."

"They are but I can't seem to get over her, it's like no matter how hard I try to feel my emotions and let them go, my mind only wants to think about her. Did she eat today, did she think about me, does she even think of me?"

"Maybe try entering the dating pool again."

"I do not have the time for that."

"Oh yes, you do. I will look after her tonight, you are going out, I am calling Kash."

"No, I don't wanna." Whining to my roommate has become my favourite pastime. I found safety in our friendship.

"Well, you are." She texts Kash to pick me up in two hours. "Go batheeee and put on that black dress I bought you for your birthday." Ri missed my birthday, she sent me a gift though.

It was a huge box, she bought me books and framed pictures of me. It was thoughtful but I needed to forget her even though it seems my body can only yearn for her.

Kash is taking me to Space.

"You look cute."

"Thank you, I had to outshine you."

"You do that flawlessly." A friendly smile appears on my face.

The bouncer greets Kash as we walk into the club. Although I enjoyed spending time with Kash, every time he would flirt with me all I could think of was Ri.

He tried a few times to make me twerk for him but I rejected his advances, drunk him is not a gentleman.

"I think it is time to go," I whisper into his ear, he nods.

Ri always gave me the safety of knowing that if I was completely wasted, she would not let anything happen to me, I knew she would protect me and that safety is something I think only she can give me and that is scary because she is gone, she has been for five months and I need to move on.

I drop Kash off at his home and I tuck him in before going back to my apartment to find Naledi watching TV.

"How was it?"

"Awful, all I could think about is Ri. Ri this, Ri that. Every single person I saw was not Ri. The girls didn't have a smile as big as hers, the guys were not as attractive as she was, she just always had that frown etched on her face. No one was her."

"My friend, you are in love."

"What?"

"You are in love with this girl and if I were you, I would find a way to get over it because you said she is not coming back."

"She ghosted me."

"And we leave ghosts where they are. One day you won't be in love with her."

"Can that day be tomorrow?"

"Unfortunately, you are deep in the trenches."

"I hate this." She pulls me closer before kissing my forehead. I am so happy and blessed to have Naledi in my life.

We slept on the couch and were woken up by our phones ringing.

"Ms Abiya, Mrs Jones is on her way to the hospital."

"What? Okay, which one."

"Dima General."

"Okay, we are on our way." She is undergoing surgery and I hate just sitting here. The nurse told us the doctor will be out to explain the situation to us, we just had to sit and wait.

After a few hours, a doctor comes our way. I could not read his face, he seemed exhausted.

"Jones?"

"That is us, Dr."

"She is fine for now but we discovered that she signed a do-not-resuscitate order, and so if her heart fails, we are not allowed to perform CPR."

"What do you mean?"

"She does not want us to prolong her suffering."

"You can't let her decide that she doesn't mean it.'" Tears start rolling down my eyes as I shake my head in disbelief. Naledi wraps her arms around me.

"I am sorry but it is her choice." A nurse comes running to the doctor, she whispers into his ear. "I am sorry but I need to do." They run in the direction they came.

"Do you think..."

"No. I do not want to think like that."

A few hours go by, Naledi and I went back to our place to fetch jackets and coffee. It was going to be a long night.

We fell asleep waiting for the doctor to come back and when we woke up, it was morning.

After a while, the doctor comes back with a nurse by her side.

"We regret to inform you that she passed a few moments ago." He explained that her heart failed and stopped beating. Naledi and I became inconsolable.

When we were okay, we called her family. They are on their way. We saw her one last time before she went to the morgue. We went back to her apartment to get things ready for her family to come.

Afterwards, we went to take a shower, we needed it badly. When I got into my room, I noticed a letter on my bed. Pulling it open, it is typed, I first thought it is a serial killer until I saw the end.

Love Ri.

How could she know?

In the letter, she sends her condolences. Part of me was flattered that she put in the effort to get this to me but part of me was hurt she could not do it in person.

"Fuck you, Ri."

Her family got the funeral proceedings done. They did the will reading before any of the funeral plans could go ahead. She generously gave the apartment to Naledi and I.  It is her last gift from her to us and we are appreciative.

The funeral of tomorrow. I have my dress ready and I can not wait until I get to come back home to snuggle with Jojo and watch cartoons.

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