A Previous Selection

Chapter Seventeen

"I don't know if I can do it, Addi."

"Of course you can. It's no big deal."

I stop pacing around my room to look at her.

"Maybe not for you. But for me it is," I tell her. "Feelings are hard for me to accept, okay. I haven't had the best luck with them in the past, and I'm just afraid of the past repeating itself."

She stands up from her place on the edge of my bed, walks up to me, and grabs my hands.

"I understand. Guys can be idiots sometimes. They hurt girls by making stupid decisions, and they don't realize how much they've hurt the girl until it's too late. All guys are going to make mistakes, but a guy like Cameron is not going to let his mistakes affect you. I know it's hard to believe that not all guys are the same after one has hurt you, but I can assure you that Cameron will never be anything like whatever dumb guy hurt you in the past."

"I believe that too. It's just still hard to truly accept it, you know? Plus, what if he doesn't even like me?"

"You've got to be joking, right?"

"No, I'm really not."

"Wren, why would you still be here if he didn't like you?" she asks.

"Because he enjoys having me around as a friend. He told me the other day that a lot of the girls that are still here are only here because he can't send them home all at once."

"You're also forgetting that he told you that he let ME stay for you. That he didn't want to hurt you and make you say goodbye to your best friend. Why would he do that for you if he didn't like you?"

". . . I don't know."

She leads me over to the bed, and we both sit down on it.

"Look, Wren. I've seen the way he looks at you," she says. "How he lights up anytime you're around. How worried he was when you got to the safe room so much later than the rest of us. How much he enjoys talking to you. How he steals glances at you when he thinks nobody is paying attention. I promise you that boy likes you. And if he doesn't, then he's the best actor to ever exist."

"He really does all of those things?"

She nods her head.

"Yes, he does. You're just too oblivious to notice any of it."

"Okay. Well, if you are right, and he does like me, why am I the one that needs to tell him my feelings? Why can't he do it first?" I ask.

"Because he's in the middle of the Selection. He still has a dozen other girls here that he's supposed to be dating to find the one he wants to be with for the rest of his life. He's scared to put everything into one girl without knowing her feelings for him," she explains, and I sigh.

"I guess that makes sense."

"So. Are you going to take my advice and finally tell him how you feel?"

I weigh the question in my mind for a minute before nodding.

"Yeah. I will."

"Great! When?"

"We're supposed to be going on a walk through the gardens tonight, so I guess I can do it then."

"Yay! This is so exciting!"

"I already feel like I'm going to throw up."

"Just don't do it on me. Or him," she says, and I can't help but laugh.

"No promises."

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"What about this one?"