Séx or Love /English/

Prologue

Amber

How does a woman who was with the wrong man feel for the first time? With a man who didn't love her and didn't care about her innocence. She was just another cut on his already crowded belt. I will not describe it to you. I'll tell you straight. Useless. I feel nothing. And after all the years I've been through since. I have regretted so many times that I din't listen to Christina's advice at the time and did not give my hands away from Alex Mendez. Yes, I should have listened to her, but there's no need to cry over the spilled milk. I was in love, young and stupid. And I lost my gift, my virginity with the worst man. I chose the worst. And in all the years we've all been in New York, I've had as many mean as I wanted. I realized that sex is amazing. Some men were only for one night with some I was planning the future. I played with others, we had fun with others and tried everything new. They were different relationships. But in none of them did I find something that I missed and what Christina found in Denis. I did not find safety and respect in anyone. I knew love wasn't always everything. We have not always been able to fall in love with a single person and get along with him. But there was another problem with me. I needed a man with whom I would feel safe, but he would be physically attracted to me. In a relationship, I needed passion, freedom and savagery. I didn't care if it was a one-night stand or for years. Have I found such a relationship? I didn't find it. I've always come across two types of guys. I felt safe with one, but it lacked a spark. And the other one was amazing in bed, but it was an idiót or an immature child looking for a toy to throw away like a dirty rag.

What did I learn? Guys are pigs and each of them is only good for sex. What Christina and Denis had was exceptional. When I looked at Denis looking at her, I saw love and joy in his eyes. And I couldn't get enough of them. I didn't believe I'd ever meet someone like that. My first love ended in fiasco and I didn't need another fiasco. I didn't really need a man in general. I had girlfriends, but there was such an empty space in my soul ......... that they couldn't fill. I knew that when everyone got married, it would never be the same, it would never be the same again. Christina already has a little Anna. She is so beautiful and amazing. It's hard to say if I ever want kids. I can't say no. I love children. Little Anna is amazing, even though she screams like a baboon. But I do not know. Now I want to focus on my career, which is in full swing and I don't have time for any mistakes. Christina left me our publishing house and I don't want to disappoint her trust. I love my girlfriends and I definitely didn't want to disappoint them. I wanted to take our publishing house to the next level. Whatever it costs me.

.....................................................................................................................................

This is prologue of this book. I have written this book in Slovak too, but I want it in English too.

Dear readers!

This is my new book about Amber. I know you're certainly disappointed that Christina's book is over, but it's all over once.

I know that prologue is not interesting at all, so I will write you the first chapter. I hope you like my new book.

You don't have to read previous books to understand this, although you may miss some context.

PS: I hope to add new chapters regularly. But if not, I apologize in advance.

Yours, Barbara