Séx or Love /English/

Eighteenth Chapter - Remorse

Graham

Yes, I'm a coward. The great. Yes, I let Amber go and I made up a stupid excuse. And now I regret it. Even though I thought the madness would go away. It didn't disappear even after a few days.From Garrett's story, I understood that she is different, he was seriously interested in her. And I've never seen that with my brother. He fell in love.

He really fell in love.

"Graham, she's beautiful. I have never met a smarter woman before, "I recalled his words.

Words came out of Garrett's lips only once. And that's about Amber.

And I felt miserable. Why do I still have to be the good brother to let go of everything? Why? Why am I so good? Why can't I be like my brother?

Why can't I take the things I want like him?

I did not know the answer to these questions. But I wanted to.I always left everything to my brother. Although he was my older brother and it was to be him that always seemed. He never did.

And I, a fool, have always backed down. Whether it was a woman or a problem, I always took it upon myself.

And now there was an even bigger problem. The problem is called love. Love for one woman. To Amber Linde Devenport. To the woman I fell in love with.

I know it's love. I've never felt this feeling before, but I'm sure it's love.

And my brother feels the same way about this woman. And from how happy he was when I last heard him, she loves him too.

And it was killing my heart. But she doesn't even know about my feelings. We only met twice. And even though she liked my company. She certainly won't break up with the man she loves now, just to start something new with me.

And I still couldn't remember why I couldn't be the villain. The villain in her story who comes to her and kills anyone who ever wants to use her. I was able to do that.

And that's what I wanted and needed. I didn't want to ruin my brother's relationship. You can't imagine how many times it destroyed me. How many times did he slept with my girlfriends just because he was bored. And I coughed because he was my brother.

But now I wasn't quite sure. I wasn't sure if I could let go of a woman like Amber, the Woman I saw first. The one I fell in love with first.

And that woman is now with my dearest brother in London. And I'm stuck in New York alone and I'm sorry. Certainly not.

I took my bag on exercise and decided to go to the gym. Today I squeeze my soul out of myself and out of the punching bag as well.

And all because of myself and my regret. And my stupidity.

Because if ...

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So what do you think? Is Graham really stupid or not? Will there be something between him and Amber? Or not?

All in next chapter.

Love you all

Barbara