Murder to Malfoy - D.MALFOY

[33]

Ivy could see anything but the light on the Eighth of June, better known as Antony's birthday. Her emotions were a mess, constant ups and downs before the date even arrived. Grief is like that though, it screws with your mind and ruins every good thing in its path.

She could not leave her bed for any other reason than to pee when the pain got too bad. She just lay in her bed, wrapped in Fin's weighted blanket that they had given her before leaving for the day so she didn't feel as alone. It worked somewhat, the blanket made it feel like she was being hugged and the comforting smell of the fragrance that Fin used every morning wafted up to her nose when she needed it most.

Fin and Blaise had both attempted to get her to go down to breakfast, saying that she didn't have to go to lesson, just to eat something quick before coming back to the room, but Ivy didn't more a muscle nor utter a single word back. She just covered her head with her blanket, vacantly listening to Fin and Blaise's whispered conversation. After Fin had given her their blanket and Blaise had opened one of the windows before kissing her forehead after pulling the duvet down slightly, the two of them left ad the room fell to a deafening silence.

She just stared at the potato teddy at the very end of her bed and when that wasn't in sight, her gaze lingered around the multiple pictures of Antony that decorated her bedroom wall. She had replaced the painting that hid away her murderous plans with happier pictures, the ones that Blaise had gotten her for her birthday, in an attempt to get rid of the constant reminder that was the plain wall. It didn't work.

Among the people that realised her absence, Ivy did not list Draco Malfoy. Accept there he was, knocking on the door mid-morning and mid-lesson while shouting through the door to make sure that she 'hadn't mis-brewed a poison and died or something.' "Cadieux! Come on, I'm supposed to be in lesson!" he yelled through the door, tapping it lightly instead of knocking as he had for the past ten minutes.

Ivy remained silent, tears slipping down her face as she rolled over and bought a pillow up to cover her ears. "Go away Malfoy!" she yelled back, voice wavering and slightly muffled by the weighted blanket that lingered dangerously close to her face. One wrong move and it would take effort that she did not have to get out from underneath the dark cave.

"Oh so you are alive?" he laughed through the door, not having a clue about the emotions that were hidden behind it. Ivy rolled her eyes and felt herself sink deeper into a soul-crushing memory, one where Antony had laughed at something stupid she had done when she was younger. She, from that moment on, remembered every single laugh and how they all sounded yet she struggled to remember what he actually sounded like. His voice, without laughter or some other emotion, just plain old Antony. Tears slipped onto her pillow as the realisation came. "Cadieux?" his voice came softer yet still at a yell, concern clearly showing.

"Just go away, I don't have the energy," she mumbled even though she knew he could not physically hear her, she just hoped her silence would say the words she couldn't muster. She didn't want to deal with the snarky comebacks, the sarcasm, or anything really. She just wanted to be in peace, alone with the thoughts that caused her such pain that she deemed she needed to feel today. Just for that day, tomorrow she would act like normal and push the grief away.

He didn't seem to get the message through. "Open the door or I'm breaking it down," he yelled through the door, hammering knocks on the wood once again. The sound pressed a button of fury in her mind, one that she didn't want to have to deal with today of all days. The day where her urge to go downstairs and get cigarettes was so strong that it almost got her out of bed, almost. He quickly added, "Please?"

She sat up in bed, staring at the door with such fury in her eyes that it could almost catch alight. When the hammering on the door did not cease and got increasingly louder with the force, she found herself untangling from the cocoon of blankets that had formed due to her restlessness. She wrapped herself in the nearest one, happening to be a dark green throw that came with the bedroom, and flung the door open. She yelled, fighting the urge to slap him directly in the face, "Piss off!"

He looked taken aback at her appearance of her, dishevelled hair with no makeup and wrapped in a blanket. It was not the sight of Ivy Cadieux he was used to yet it did not take a genius to see the raw pain behind her eyes. "Jeez, I was just concerned..."

"Well don't be," she sniffled, holding on tightly to the door so she did not fall. Standing up so quickly and without much preparation had her mind filling with black dots, legs weakened from plain lack of sustenance and dehydration. "You never were before," she sighed, going to close the door back up. He caught it with his foot and the door swung back open as she walked back to her bed, falling into the pillows.

"What's gotten into you? I would have expected a witty comment by now," he asked softly, remaining in the doorway as he did not want to encroach on her personal space. Ivy had always been very particular about who she let into her space and he had known that since the age of eight, when he attempted to go into her room to get a book after they talked about it one dinner. That did not go well at all, for him not her.

"Go away Malfoy," she mumbled, not intentionally but the blankets got in the way as she had predicted previously. "Seriously, I don't have the energy to talk to anyone let alone form some sort of coherent response."

"Does Fin know your up here? And Blaise?"

"Yes, both of them do," she sighed deeply, getting comfortable again amongst the pillows once more. In her run to the door, the potato had been knocked to the floor and she honestly missed it. It seemed Lupin was right with his advice after all, even though she had thought it to be utter bullshit for so long. "Go and close the door behind you,"

"Do you want me to-"

"I want you to go! Leave me the hell alone to be alone, lonely and full of self-loathing like I want," her voice came clear now, unmuffled by the blankets and slightly raised for emphasis though it hurt her head to do so.

She did not see the softening of his gaze due to the realisation about what was going on, it took him a while to piece it together but when he realised it became so completely obvious. "You can't expect me to leave after you've said all of that..."

"Yes I can," she shrugged under the blankets, not knowing not caring if he would get the full effect. "If you're that concerned go tell Fin or something, I don't know and I don't care as long as you leave me the fuck alone."

And with that, he left and went back to lesson where he suffered a berating and detention for taking so long collecting his books. Malfoy didn't talk to Fin, since they already suspected too much and he didn't want to give them more ammo to use against him. No, instead he read his father's letter and wrote back angrily, hating him for what he had done to Ivy and the entire Cadieux family.

That was the day that Draco snapped into the plotline of getting his father into Azkaban fully. Before that, he had held some sort of loyalty toward the man, due to him being his father and all that, but now that was long gone. After seeing the effect it had on Ivy, the irreversible effect that seemed to have no point, he would not ever feel the same about him. Not once in his remaining life.