Forever and Always - SHOTOXOC (Eng Ver.)

Chapter Nine

"I just don't know what to do. Why does he act like that? I mean- we grew up together, I know him better than anyone else. Yet he sends me signals I don't understand. One minute it seems like we're just friends, and the next he's looking at me like he really loves me. What am I supposed to do?"

I exasperatedly run my hands through my hair as my interlocutor continues to drink his coffee without responding.
"And exactly that why should I care?"

"Oh Mr. Aizawa! You should always be available to help your students no? Well I'm a student and I need help! What should I do?" I ask almost begging him.
His impassive gaze does not change even for a second as he takes a sip of his coffee.

I look at him impatiently waiting for his answer that does not seem to come soon.
"I don't know. Try talking to him...?" He answers me with very little desire.
"Oh yeah and what do I tell him? Hey best friend, you know I've loved you since middle school, but rest assured I already know you'll friend me so friends like before? Come on Mr. Aizawa can do better than that!"

The teacher throws me an icy stare and I feel chills run down my spine. Have I perhaps gone too far?
No. After all, he adores me.

"Listen Takeda, I'm not good at these things, but I'm very good at observing. And I see how Shoto is observing you, that boy is smitten with you. Tell him your feelings for a good time. I'm tired of seeing you eating with each other's eyes during class."

My mouth forms a huge O as I look shocked at my professor.
But indeed, he is right.
"You know what? You're right. I'll go to Shoto, I'll declare myself and he'll say yes. Come on, look at me, I'm wonderful, of course he fell in love with me. Thank you Mr. Aizawa, I will definitely come back to you for more advice." With that said, I stand up and head for the door of the teacher's lounge.

"But also no. Try another teacher maybe, like Midnight or All Might."
I don't even finish listening to him heading toward our classroom.
I stride briskly toward the classroom, without looking anyone in the face, I even bump into a couple of students but it matters little.

As soon as I arrive in front of the door, I push it open with all my strength.
This only leads to it slamming worse than the first day with a deafening sound.
Almost the entire class turns to look at me.
"You really want to break it I see." Ochako tells me with a laugh.
I scratch the back of my head having somewhat lost the confidence I had until a moment ago.

I turn toward the back of the classroom looking for him.
I see him with his head turned toward his math book and my smile widens a lot.
Feeling he is being watched, he looks up at me, and so I walk briskly toward him.
"Shoto."
"Mei."

And so I get stuck. All the talk I had prepared in my head on the way here is completely gone.
"Hey. Are you there?" he snaps his fingers in front of my face, and so I more or less regain control of myself.

"Yes. Yes I'm there. I just wanted to tell you that- I mean- here.."
Mei, please. Pull yourself together!
"Are you okay? It's not like you to do that." The boy asks, moving a little closer to me.
No, no Shoto. That's not helping.
I take a deep breath and pull out another dose of courage.
"Yes it's okay! So. THERE'S A GUY I LIKE!"

Shoto stiffens at my words and crosses his arms over his chest.
"Ah."
Really? This is his answer? HIS ONLY ANSWER?
"Just 'Ah?'" I ask him, crossing my arms over my chest in turn.
"Yes, in short I'm happy for you. Who is he?"
Yeah, of course he wants to know who it is.
That's the main purpose I came to talk to him for.

I blush all of a sudden and my palms start to sweat a little from anxiety.
All it takes is for me to declare myself. There's nothing that can go wrong!
Right?

"Here it comes down to..."
"Good class. Everyone sit down." Aizawa enters the classroom announcing the start of his class.
And I don't know whether to be extremely happy or want to kill him.

The raven-haired man looks at me as if to ask how it went so I simply shake my head to indicate failure.
I go to my seat informing Shoto that we will continue the conversation later.

He simply nods but his gaze and posture still remain stiffened.
Did what I said bother him?
That he is afraid I will say his name because he doesn't want to offend me by giving me rejection?

I begin to torment myself again with doubts and anxiety and whether I should confess my feelings to him.
Maybe both my parents and the teacher are wrong.
How can they be sure that he reciprocates?

Yes he has been acting slightly different lately, but what if it was just a change of his own?
Sure he will still only see me as his best friend.
I put my doubts aside for the moment trying to focus on what the class is saying.
I will have the whole night ahead of me so I can make my own mental films.

"Professor! What should we do?" Sero asks, raising his hand.
"Be the hero everyone needs, whether it's a flood or any other disaster. It is the proof of rescue!"
Aizawa's words catch my full attention.
A proof of relief! I am quite curious about what it will entail.
I have to give my all in this school and classes.

I will leave Shoto and my emotions aside and do a great job today!