(The part in italics are his thoughts)
Shoto POV
What should I do?
I have lost my original goal.
I don't know whether what I did was right or not.
During the fight against Midoriya, I completely forgot about my father.
I really thought about what I wanted.
What I would like to do with my life.
And the only thing I could see was Mei.
Her voice had come so direct to me as she screamed that this was my life.
In my mind the only future that was clear to me was with her.
Making heroes together, opening our own agency, as we had always said since we were children.
But how can I give her this future if I can't even solve my own internal conflicts?
How can I make her happy?
I don't know what I should do now.
My first reaction when she wanted to help me was to yell at her and push her away.
And I succeeded.
I also made myself hated by the only person who supports me with all her might.
The only person I can count on.
The only person who loves me.
But come on Shoto? How can she really love you?
She is too much for someone like me.
I wish it weren't true but she is.
She deserves better than that.
I'm just a messed-up guy who doesn't deserve happiness.
Maybe I deserve the life I have.
To be alone.
Maybe I'll end up like my father.
Hated even by his own family.
Maybe it's better for her to get away from me. I would only take her down with me and that's the last thing I want.
I lost the only source of happiness in my life.
All because of who I am.
All I have done is to do my best.
I am extremely confused and insecure.
And so tired, so hopeless.
I need help.
Or do I?
Bakugo continues to attack and Midoriya yells from the stands to fight.
I could win.
I could use fire.
Maybe I will.
But what did using it get me the first time?
I won the fight but what did it take away from me?
It is not the right thing to do!
But it is my life.
I prepare to use the fire but my mother's crying face floods my mind.
She was like Mei.
My sun cried because of me just as my mother cries in my memories because of that man.
I put out the fire on my body letting Bakugo's attack hit me full force.
That's all right.
A/N
I'm just saying that I was crying while writing this 🙃
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