Memories || Bucky Barnes

Chapter 7

2015
After that meeting, I decided to stay in New York. I believed that if Bucky wanted to come back at some point, he should know where to find me. But it's been over a year since he stepped out of my door.

I don't have his letters any more which somehow makes me feel like I lost him all over again. I used to read those letters every time I was lonely or missing him.

I was getting used to be alone again, but this morning, a phone call upset my routine. I immediately tossed everything to the side and I picked up my laptop.

Tracker...    Found you.
Flight...       Booked.

"Emily!" I hear Steve along with loyd knocks on the door.

I close my laptop and I let him in.

"Did you hear?" he asks

"Yes, I did" I answer as I rush to my room.

"The funeral is tomorrow" he informs me

"I know" I reply as I look through my fake ID's.

"What are you doing? Are you going somewhere?" he asks

"I'll be back for the funeral" I explain as I grab a bag and I toss inside a few things.

"Where are you going?" he insists

"To find her brother" I answer

"You know where Bucky is?".
"Emily!" he yells when I don't answer

"I hid a tracker in the box of the letters I had given him" I admit

"You knew where he was--"

"No, I didn't because I wanted to respect him. I just looked it up"

"You didn't tell me again..."

"I don't have time for this. I don't owe you anything" I roll my eyes

"I'm coming with you" he says and I sigh. I walk back to the closet and I take out my medical kit without him seeing.

I turn around quickly and, with my powers, I shove him against the wall and freeze his torso and fists on it.

"What--"

"I was afraid you'd say that" I reply as I walk to him with a syringe in my hand.

He tries to break free but I quickly stick the needle in his neck. I step back and I let him go. He falls on the floor weakly.

"Don't worry, it should just knock you out for a few hours. I'm sorry" I say as he goes to sleep.

I grab my bag and my laptop, in case he tries to find my tracker. I leave him unconscious on the floor.

~

I get to Bucharest, Romania many hours later and follow the tracker to his place. I check my GPS a million time until I get to the right place. The tracker seems to be behind this door.

I knock.
No answer.

I knock again.
No answer again.

I sigh and I close my eyes. This was so stupid. I turn around and I take a step towards the stairs.

In the next beat, an arm wraps around my waist and I feel a blade against my throat.

It's Bucky. I know it's Bucky.

"How did you find me?" he whispers against my ear

"I am sorry I came so suddenly but I assure you there is a very good reason" I answer, but he doesn't move. "I promise, no one knows I'm here. We'll just talk, like we did when you visited me" I add.

He lets me go and I follow him inside. I take a look around his place. Simple, almost empty.

"How have you been?" I try to act normal

"Why are you here, Emmy?" he asks and I freeze.

Emmy...

The sound of it echoed in my ears. I haven't heard that nickname since 1943. And from his voice...

This wasn't a good idea.

"Everything ok?" he asks, taking my attention back.

"Yeah. Actually no. Do you remember Becca?"

"Rebecca, my sister. From the letters it seems like you two were friends"

"Best friends. She was the only person who knew I was alive after the accident I had. She and I used to meet up once a year when I was in hiding alone, she was like my recharge station. We always met on March 10th, in different places every year. Until she got in her 70's and couldn't travel anymore so I started visiting her in her house. It was nice while it lasted... Because then her mind started giving up on her. She started forgetting and it got really bad. She turned 94 a couple of months ago and she couldn't even recognize her own son. He called me this morning to tell me that she passed away in her sleep".

I take a moment to compose myself and blink away my tears.

"Her funeral is tomorrow and I just wanted to let you know that you can come if you'd like. But I'll completely understand if you don't" I reassure him.

He looks sceptical but eventually nods.
"I want to go" he says, taking me by surprise.

"Then we should get going because the flight is long" I reply.

~

"Well, we missed the service but James texted me that we can go by after and have some private time" I say once we are on the ground.

Bucky looks at me waiting for more information.

"James is her son. Your nephew. I mean, he is pretty old already, he is 65, but you don't have to meet him if you don't feel ready" I explain and he nods.

Bucky and I get in from the back so we don't come across any other family member outside of the chapel. Since the service is over, the place is empty of people and her closed casket with flowers on top is in the middle of the alter. It is so quiet...

I walk closer, leaving Bucky behind. I lay the lilies I got for her on top of the other flowers.

"Hi, Becs. I'm sorry I am late, again, but I got your favorite flowers. And I brought you someone I know you missed. I'm sorry I couldn't bring him sooner" I talk but I don't dare to take my eyes off the casket.

A few seconds later, I hear Bucky's steps approaching. "Hey Rikki..." he says.

I smile at the sound of her nickname. He always called her that and she always got mad, especially when he did it in public.

Silence takes over the room again. No one moves. I stand in front of the casket and Bucky is standing besides me. It's like he wants to feel sad but he doesn't remember the love he had for her.

A tear rolls down my cheek "The last one standing..." I whisper as the pressure builds in my chest

"What?" he asks

"Until 4 years ago -when they found Steve- I thought outlived everyone. My family, my friends, everyone had gotten old and died, besides her. She got me through pretty much everything and for many years, she was the last one standing. The last person I had".

The pressure in my chest keeps building up more and more. I lean forward and I rest my head on the hard wood. A small sob escapes my lips and more tears follow.

I feel Bucky's hand on my back and I melt. "It's ok" he says

I lift my head to look at him "No, nothing is ok. Nothing has been ok for a very long time. Everything is so fucking messed up" I cry.

It takes me a second to realize that he pulls me in and wraps his arms around me. The feeling of his arms, the feeling of his heartbeat, the sound of his voice, his scent... Everything is so overwhelming.

I can't hold it in anymore and I finally let go completely. I breakdown. I cry ugly and loudly, to the point that my legs start to give up.

As soon as Bucky feels that, he holds me tighter and brings himself to his knees with me. He lets me cry and doesn't ever let go.