Memories || Bucky Barnes

Chapter 8

I don't know for how long we sat there. I cried and cried and cried. Not only for Becca, but for everything that has happened lately. Because once I let go, I couldn't stop.

And Bucky just held me. He didn't have to say anything. He stroke my back softly here and there and let me take it all out on him. I held onto him for dear life. I was in his arms again. I was smelling his scent again. I was listening to his heart beat again.

I didn't realize I calmed down until I noticed that I could hear his breathing through the silence.

"I'm sorry" I say as I pull away enough to wipe my tears and get myself together

"No, don't apologize. Do you feel better now?" he asks as he rubs my back.

I nod against his chest.

"Do you want to go home?" he suggests and I nod again.

He takes my hand and helps me stand up. I try to take my hand back, assuming he'll let go, but he doesn't so I tighten my grip again.

I feel exhausted. My eyes are burning and my legs are weak. Am I about to cry again? I am not sure. I just want to lay down and close my eyes for a bit.

Bucky remembers where I live and gets me straight there. My legs are still shaking as we walk up the stairs, so he wraps his arm around me to help me. Then, he takes the keys from my hand and opens the door.

Steve?

"What are you doing here?" I ask

"You didn't come to the funeral and I wouldn't just let you get away with..." he stops as he sees Bucky walk in behind me

"I can't do this right now, Steve" I reply exhausted.

I turn to Bucky "You can go if you want. Thank you for everything today" I say

"No, you should stay Buck" Steve insists

"No!" I argue. "No. That's why I didn't tell you anything. You become so pressuring at times. Did you for one moment stop to think that he might need space and time like you did when you came out of the ice?" I question.

He knows I'm right so he doesn't answer.

"Get out of my apartment" I order him.

He nods and walks towards the door disappointed.

"Could I stay?" Bucky asks and we both turn towards him surprised

"Sure. I'll go get some rest. Make yourself comfortable" I reply.

I go to my room and I shut the door, leaving the two men on the other side. I fall asleep almost immediately.

~

When I wake up, I realize that it's dark outside. I look at the time. 4:37. I get up and head to the kitchen. As I open my door I hear light snoring and then I see Bucky sleeping on the floor.

He stayed...

There is a pillow and a blanket on the couch but he is sleeping on the floor. He did that the first couple of nights when he came home from war during 1943.

His long hair falls messy on the floor and some strands on his face. He has arms crossed in front of his chest. I watch it raise and fall as he breathes.

"I missed you..." I whisper under my breath so he wouldn't hear.

I walk to the couch and I grab the blanket. I cover him gently and I step back. I turn around to walk away but he grabs me from behind. He smacks my head against the table and pins me on the wall, chocking me with his metal arm.