Memories || Bucky Barnes

Chapter 34

Bucky's POV
To be safe, I texted Sam to take JJ away from home as soon as I got to the hospital with Emmy. They took her in immediately. I haven't been able to stop shaking since they took her away from me.

For the passed 5 hours, I've been sitting alone in the hospital's waiting room. It's been roughly two hours since the last update I got from a doctor. They say she's in a critical state, but she's still holding on. I want to believe that she didn't make it this far to just let go in the end. She will be fine. She has to.

My heart aches. My brain has come up with a million painful ways to end Karli and her minions. Hurting my family to get to me was their biggest mistake.

However, I can't stop blaming myself. Emmy was right to be upset. I was putting them in danger. She will never forgive me for this.

"Hey man" Sam walks in

"What are you doing here?" I ask worried

"JJ is safe, I left her at the cabin with Sarah. And she's currently playing with my nephews" he explains, while showing me a picture on his phone as proof.

She is in fact playing with the boys. She looks like she's having a good time.

"Sarah will be sending me an update every half hour" he adds

"Thanks".

"What news do you have on Emily?"

"Not much. Just that she's still there. But I don't know at what capacity" I answer

"Well, as long as the doctors are in there, she is still hanging on"

"I guess".

I stand up and I start pacing around the room. I am struggling to keep myself from breaking everything inside this place.

"If I hadn't left them--"

"Come on! Are you going to do this forever? I'm tired of acting like your therapist" Sam complains.

"Why are you here again?" I ask

"Because Emily is my friend. You're not the only one who cares" he answers.

That's when an idea pops up in my head. "Friends. You're right..." I whisper

"Say that again. Louder, please"

"Emily has one brilliant friend with plenty of surgical tools" I remember as I look for her name in my contacts list.

~

They said that Emmy coded during surgery for 4 whole minutes. Now she is sedated, but they said that even if she wakes up with no brain damage, she will never walk again due to the injury.

If she wakes up...

Once it was safe, Shuri and I got them to move her to Wakanda. She is my last hope. She said she could definitely improve her condition, but she isn't sure yet how far she can go. She said she'll need time.

I didn't follow them to Wakanda. I am useless to them there at the moment, so I decided to do what I do best: stay back and kill the people who did this.

There were reports of multiple threats in the GRC meeting in New York City where the Patch Act vote was taking place. Who could it be other than the Flag Smashers?

Sam didn't want me on it, but luckily I never cared about his opinion anyway. Sam stayed on the air while Sharon and I took the ground. But I snuck out with the first opportunity I got, and I went to find Karli.

~

I found the man who hurt Emmy. I recognized him by his voice. He didn't go out without a fight, but I didn't care. My rage gave me the upper hand quickly. I killed him, choked the life out of him with my own hands. And it felt great.

Next up was Karli herself. But the Power Broker got to her first. They shot her and she died quickly which was a shame. And then I was forced to help Walker get the rest of them.

By the next morning, everything was wrapped up and I arrived in Wakanda. I was told that they are still working on Emmy, so I had to sit and wait again.

No updates. The last thing I've heard was from the doctors in the hospital. Last thing I heard was that she may never wake up. And if she does, she will rightfully hate me for the rest of her life for putting her in a wheelchair at best. If she even remembers me...

I stand up and I start pacing nervously.

And JJ... What am I supposed to say to her? Can I take in her reaction? The blame? This is exactly why Emmy was scared for me to go out there. I thought she was overreacting, but she was absolutely right.

Maybe I deserve to be punished for all the things I've done. But Emmy and JJ certainly don't. This is my fault, not theirs. How is this fair?

I grab the chair and I smash it on the wall. Its pieces fall on the floor but the wall seems intact. A tear escapes my eye. That's where all the exhaustion and emotions come out. The reality starts to sink in.

I could really lose her this time...

Is this what she felt when she thought I died in the war? Is this what she felt when I decided to freeze myself again? Is this what she felt when I dusted off? Each time, she found the strength to pick herself up.

Three times... And I can't take one.

And what happens if she doesn't remember us? Where do I start? What do I say? How did she do this when I came back? How ungrateful have I been acting lately?

I am a horrible person. I am tearing my family apart. I killed someone and I didn't feel anything about it. I am a horrible person.

"What the hell did you do?" Shuri's voice causes me to jump. She is looking at the broken chair.

"Sorry, I... There is no explanation actually"

"Broken white boys..." she whispers to herself. "Come with me".

I follow her without any protest or questions. She leads me to the lab, and my eyes immediately land on Emmy's form. She is still unconscious, many wires are attached to her head and body. She looks so weak and fragile. My legs almost give out. I've never felt like this before.

"She is weak, but she's been breathing on her own for the last hour. From the scans, her brain activity appears normal. Our biggest issue was her spine where the blade went in. Examining the damage closely, I was able to create a chip that could theoretically restore the lost connections. We placed it in her spine, close to the place of the wound. Emily will walk again, but she'll have to relearn how to do it" Shuri explains.

I stare at Emmy silently. Only when Shuri stops speaking, I start processing what she's just said.

"Thank you" I manage to say

"We expected her to wake up within the next couple of days. I'll give you some time now".

I make tiny steps. It takes me a good minute to get to her side. I lower myself on the chair, scared to make a sound like it would hurt her.

"I'm sorry" a sob escapes my lips.