Memories || Bucky Barnes

Chapter 23

2023
"Piggies or bunnies, baby?" I ask JJ as I sit her on the vanity

"Piggies! And braids. And I want bows" she answers while I brush her hair

"We're going all in today, aren't we?" I laugh

"It's picture day!" she says excited

"Is it? I don't think so" I lie just to keep the conversation going while I braid the top of her head.

"It is. Ms. Rodes told us yesterday to wear nice clothes"

"Hm... Have you decided what to wear?" I wonder

"No" she admits

"How about you go in your PJ's?" I suggest.

She giggles and I look at her through the mirror for a moment. "You are silly, mommy" she laughs

"Alright then. How about the new purple dress you got with auntie Nat last week?"

"Yes!" she exclaims

"Please, stay still" I remind her as I tie the first braid.

I split her hair on the top of her head into two braids, and tied them up on the back into pigtails. We also added one purple bow at the end of each braid. Doing her hair is my favorite part of the morning -thanks to my hairdresser mom for her influence. This moment also brings me back memories from when I used to cut Bucky's hair, back when we first got together. Just like JJ, he hated when someone else touched their hair.

After that we had a small fight because it's chilly outside, and I wanted her to put on a pair of leggings under the knee-length dress she wore. Luckily, she did me a favor in the end with the promise to get her fries for lunch later.

I drop JJ off to preschool and I go to work. Work. I got my own lab here, with brilliant scientists who I hired myself, and we are working closely with Wakanda even though we are on the other side of the world.

So, like every day, I head to the short morning meeting, I take a look at any new files and I go in. I check the files and notes about what tests need to be done, and I come up with a plan for the day.

I try my best everyday to finish my lab work before JJ's pick up time, and then I put everything together and finish on my laptop from home while she naps.

However, if there is an emergency and I need to be there auntie Nat is always available for babysitting.

She is the only person I talk to from my old life. I have disappeared from everyone else's radar, but she stayed. Turns out that she needed me as much as I needed her. She is the only one who knows I was pregnant five years ago.

It took a lot of work, but we made it. I am happy. I got the quiet life I dreamed of. One person is still missing from it, and I had to learn to live with his absence. For JJ. Everything I do is for her and I will do anything to keep her safe, including hide her existence from anyone that could bring chaos into our lives again.

That's why I almost had a heart attack when I had a missed call from Steve during my lunch break. I called Nat immediately and she said to just go home. She told me not to worry because she is going to take care of him.

But home, I have to pick up JJ from school. I park the car and then I wait for her outside the door like always. My mind isn't there though. I stand with my hands crossed and my leg bouncing anxiously. I keep looking over my shoulder in case someone is watching us. Suddenly, I feel more exposed than ever.

"Mommy!" her little voice snaps me back to reality.

I put a smile on and I kneel down to catch her. "Hi, baby. How was your day?" I ask as I hug her

"Amazing!".

I don't feel like letting her walk today, so I pick her up and I head back to the car. "Did you take your photos?" I wonder

"Yes. And then Ms. Rodes had a surprise for us" she shows me a bracelet around her wrist that she definitely didn't have this morning

"Did you get presents?" I check it, showing as excited as her.

Captain America.

"We saw Captain America!" she almost yells.

My heart drops and I struggle to keep my smile on. I put her in her car seat with shakey hands and I take off as fast as possible.

"So, you met Captain America today, huh? What did he say?" my voice barely comes out

"He told us to be good"

"Good..." my mind drifts off for a moment.

He must have suspected something, he wouldn't have called me otherwise. Did he tell her anything further? Asked her who her parents are? How did he get there?! Since when is Captain America doing campaign visits?! This isn't good.

"Mommy, aren't we gonna get fries? You promised" JJ reminds me

"You're right, honey. I'm sorry" I take another turn away from home.

"Daddy knew Captain America" she mentions

"Yes, he did" I reply, cursing myself for ever mentioning that part and taking her to the Smithsonian a hundred times. "Did you tell Captain America that?"

"Yes, but he didn't believe me".

Then why did he call me? He could've checked the student records afterwards...

The pain in my chest becomes worse. I glare at my phone that I left on the passenger's seat, knowing it can ring again any second now.

We get home, I let her eat on her own and I lock myself in the bathroom for a moment. I turn the water on and I grab one of the aromatherapy candles I have in the drawers. I collapse on the floor and I bring it to my face.

I breathe in and out the scent of lavender as I try to calm myself down. I let my mind escape reality for a bit and take me to peace. Peace. Peace...

I spent the rest of the day terrified of the phone ringing or someone knocking on my door. I couldn't even close my eyes at night. Every little sound caused me to jump. I took JJ to sleep with me in the big bed because I couldn't let her out of my sight. Natasha didn't update me on the situation, so I have no idea where he is or if he's planning to confront me.

Peace. Peace... Why do they have to disturb our peace? What else could the world want from me?