From that day, we started watching movies every night before bed. Drama or comedy, English or not, old or new; it didn't matter. It was a great way to spend time together.
We also started taking walks some times at night. Bucky doesn't like to go out much during the day, which I understand. His face was literally in the news last year when Natasha Romanoff brought out SHIELD and HYDRA's files. I can tell how anxious he gets around crowds by the way he tightens his grip of my hand.
When he asks me to, I tell him stories about us. He seems to enjoy them and he is trying to remember. He is getting some small things back. For example, he remembered that Billy's always had those awful green tablecloths; that our room's wallpaper was white and had light blue straps; that our kitchen had white furniture. Small things in general.
However, he remembers everything about his time in HYDRA and he's still having terrible nightmares. Some times, he talks in his sleep and others he wakes up screaming from dreaming.
This morning is quiet though. Maybe too quiet. I open my eyes and I notice that Bucky is missing. I call his name but I get no answer. I get up to look for him but there is no sign of Bucky.
My heart starts racing. Tears form in my eyes as I start to panic. Did someone find him? Did he leave? Did I scare him off? Did he remember something? Or did he forget--
Before I go into full panic mode, the front door unlocks from the outside. I go into defense mode immediately. Ice fog comes out of my palms and my eyes go white.
The door opens and Bucky walks in.
Relief washes over me and I let out a big breath. "Where were you so early?" I ask
"I went to get something. I didn't want to wake you" he answers
"Oh... Ok..." I look down to hide the tears in my eyes. I cover my face with my hands and I take a few breaths
"Are you alright?" he asks
"Yeah, yeah. Of course"
"Emmy..."
"I said I'm fine. I just got a little worried when I woke up alone. That's all" I explain.
"I wouldn't leave you like that. Not after everything you've done for me. I won't leave you alone again" he promises.
A tear rolls down my cheek as he talks to me and looks at me in the eyes.
"I can't lose you again" I admit
"I can't do this alone again, Bucky. Please...".
"You won't" he replies as he wipes my tear away. "Come with me...".
He takes my hand and makes me follow him to the couch. "Sit down and close your eyes".
I do as he says and I wait.
"I was counting on you being asleep by the time I got back but it'll still work" I feel him sit next to me.
"What are you talking about?"
"Open your eyes".
He is sitting next to me, holding a cupcake with a lit candle on it.
"Happy birthday"
More tears come in my eyes "You didn't have to do that" I say
"I wanted to do something nice for you. The other day we were out, you said that you loved these red velvet cupcakes we got. There are more on the counter"
"You walked so far by yourself? And at daylight? For me?" I ask
"I wanted to step out of my comfort zone"
"I'm so proud of you. Thank you so much"
"Today is about you, not me. I owe you at least that. Now, make a wish and blow the candle" he reminds me
"Right. Good idea to put just one candle on the cake, by the way. If you'd put my age..."
"Well, I wasn't trying to start a fire"
"Oh my... Did you just make a joke?" I laugh through my tears
"I tried" he laughs back.
"You know that you're older than me, right? I'm gonna get you back on that one" I warn him
"Alright" he chuckles.
I close my eyes, I make a wish and I blow the candle. I open my eyes again and he is looking at me, still smiling.
Then he looks down and takes my hand. He rubs the back of it softly and notices my small scars.
"I thought with your powers, the healing didn't leave scars unless there was heat involved" he says
"You're right. These are from before. Cooking and baking mostly" I chuckle
"Hot cooking oil..." I point at the dot scar under my thumb right
"Chef's knife..." I point at the healed cut on my left middle finger.
"You actually had to get me to the hospital for that" I add.
"Hot pan..." another small scar on the side of my right index finger
"Top of the oven when I pulled out a pan in panic..." a few small scars on the knuckles of my right hand
"And hot oil again..." on the back of my left hand.
As I explain each one of them, Bucky runs his fingers over them. They are not big scars, most of them are barely visible but they are there.
"You have one too, actually. And it has a pretty funny story. Funny for me at least" I say as I take his right hand and I run my fingers over the faded scar on the side of his right index finger.
"Tell me the story" he asks.
"It was on my last birthday that we got to spend together. Both our families were invited to our house and I spend all day preparing everything inside the kitchen, while you were taking care of the rest of the house by my orders. Towards the end of the preparations, and about half an hour before the guests would arrive, I went for a shower. But in my panic to be ready in time, I forgot that the main dish was still in the oven. So I yelled at you to take it out and you panicked along with me when you saw the smoke coming out of the oven. In your panic, you opened the door and grabbed the hot casserole with your bare hands"
"That didn't end well, did it?" he asks
"Well, you held onto it for two seconds before eventually dropping it on the floor, and running to the sink. You put you palms under cold water, and it took you a few more seconds to realize what you did. When you did realize it, you kept looking back and forth between the food on the floor and your hands. Then you looked at me terrified but I just bursted out laughing. It was sad and frustrating that the food went to waste, but I couldn't stop myself after seeing all that panic go down".
I laugh as I tell the story because the scene is still playing in my head and I keep rubbing over the scar.
"It was a great day, minus the casserole which didn't survive" I add.
"Red" he says
"What?"
"The casserole was red. And it was your mother's" he explains.
"Yes. Yes, it was. It was red" I laugh and I hug him. I hear him laugh as well, as he wraps his arms around me.
When we pull away, I look into his bright blue eyes. I open my mouth to speak but he cuts me off with his mouth pressing against mine. My heart is pounding in my chest. A whimper almost escapes my lips.
YOU ARE READING
Memories || Bucky Barnes
FanfictionEmily and Bucky are getting married today. It should be the happiest day of their lives, but they can't be too happy. The newly married couple will be separated very soon, because Bucky is leaving for the war the next day. Letters keep their marria...
