The Hermitcraft Plays

8- the tree-ty

An entire week passed of no one doing the play. 

Instead, there was Tree-war 2, electric boogaloo. Violence, sabotage, deaths, Tango successfully dropping an anvil on someone's head and multiple times when a stage got blown up or burnt to the ground. The tree-sistance remained stubborn through it all, refusing to be part of Joe's play. 

It was 1 week until showtime.

Something had to be done. 

But first, another feud had to come to an end. 

Cub approached Scar's base, holding a large cake, soon reaching the door and knocking. No response. A moment later, it opened.

'Go away.' Was Scar's first statement, about to close the door again. Cub blocked it with his foot.

'Scar, please. This is ridiculous. We... we need to actually make up at some point.'

'You literally told me you hated me.'

'That was my character! I was acting! It's... you didn't see the script beforehand. It's all scripted there... look.' Cub shoved his copy of the script into Scar's hands. He flicked through it, reaching the scene entitled 'the betrayal'. Cub watched as he read through, eyes widening as he realised. Scar looked up.

'I'm really stupid, aren't I?'

'Wait- you genuinely didn't realise that was scripted?' 

'Of course not! No one else was acting like that! You just started being evil and walked offstage... I'm so sorry, Cub.' 

'Don't worry man. Am I allowed back in my base?'

'Of course! I'm so sorry.' Scar handed Cub back the script. 'I really didn't realise.'

'It's fine. And also hilarious.' 

'Oh, shut up.' Scar laughed. Cub laughed back. 

And thus their entire conflict ended. 

Joehillssays: right, we need to rehearse 

Grian: the thing is, I don't want to

Grian: and we don't have a stage

Grian: and there's a tree cult resistance stopping us every time we try to rehearse. 

Joehillssays: FINE.

Joehillssays: JEVIN WHERE ARE YOU?

iJevin: I will gather the forces to talk

iJevin: meet by your first stage

Joe sighed, grabbing rockets and flying over towards what was apparently the headquarters of the Tree-sistance. There was a distinctly cultish circle of chairs, taken up by the various members. Jevin sat on the biggest, signalling to the empty chair opposite. Joe sat down on it.

'Speak.'

'I have come up with a Tree-ty.' Joe explained. 'You can do your play as a shorter thing before the actual play, as long as you join back as part of our play, with whatever costumes you want.'

'You act like our play is somehow worse than yours.'

'Well, yes! Mine came first! You stole the idea!'

'Firstly.' Replied Iskall. 'We did not steal the idea. We were doing a parody of yours because it's stupid.'

'I spent ages on it!'

'Doesn't stop it from being rubbish!' Snapped Bdubs. 'Let us do our play as it's own thing and stop pretending yours is any better!'

'Fine! Sure! Whatever you want! Because clearly a parody literally made to say how stupid my play is now counts as being as good as it. Just let my play continue. And please join in again...'

'Why?'

'Because it doesn't make sense without you lot. The trees are important. And the Swamp Prince.'

'Our only line is 'we are trees, you're not welcome.'' Hypno pointed out.

'You represent the difficult journey faced by the protagonists, and make Captain Jack's betrayal even moe shocking, since he rescues the protagonists from the forest, and talks them out of some really bad situations...'

'Fine.' Joe let out a sigh of relief. 'But only if we get to not be stupid. Or be comic relief on purpose.' 

'Sure. Great. Thanks. I understand this seems stupid.'

'Yeah, it does.' 

'Meet later to rehearse the swamp scene?' 

'What stage?'

'What one would you prefer?'

'This one. It actually exists.' 

(Later that day...) 

'Scene 7, the swamp scene. The trees start on stage, Jevin comes on stage left, Renvolio, Grain, Pearlie, Din Djarin, and Captain Jack come on stage right... please don't disappoint me.'

'We're still not out of the forest...' Renvolio muttered as he walked onstage. Grain shrugged back.

'Yeah... but I'm sure Captain Jack and Din Djarin know the right way. Besides, those trees aren't attacking us any more.' 

'We are trees, you're not welcome.' Treetho spoke loudly. The other trees followed in a genuinely cool echo. 

'And... You stand corrected.' Pearlie sighed. 'Look, we can't trust them! They're just led us further into this place.'

'It's fine!' 

'Grian, that's not your line!' Joe called

'Yeah... but it could be.' Replied Grian. 

'But it isn't!'

'But it's better than the actual line!'

'As someone who hasn't read the script, I can confirm it's better.' Scar joined in. 

'Just continue! We've got 1 week to go!'

'Fine...'

'What.' Jevin entered dramatically. 'Are you doing. IN MY SWAMP?!'

'This isn't your swamp!' Din Djarin declared. 'It's OUR swamp now!'

'Get back, foul swamp demon, or I shall slay you!' Renvolio pointed a fake sword at Jevin the Swamp King. 

'Never, puny dog-man!'

'Should we run?' Grain interrupted.

'Probably.' 

'Don't worry! He's friendly!' Scar forced Renvolio to drop his sword. 'See?' 

'GET OUT OF MY SWAMP!'

'JEVIN, YOU'RE NOT SHREK!'

'I AM SHREK, I'M SHREKSISTING! I AM SHREK, I'M SHREKSISTING!'

'JEVIN SHUT UP!'

'Yeah, shut up!' Ren agreed. 'You're kinda ruining the play.' 

'Fine.'

'If I may intervene.' Captain Jack stood in front of Shrevin. (Shrek-Jevin) 'We just want to get out of the forest. Can you show us the way?'

'Why are you going through the forest?'

'We're going to kill Dr Evil.' Grain explained. 'This was the quickest way.'

'Actually, it wasn't...' Renvolio muttered. 

'It's this way. Good luck, travellers.'

'Thank you, oh swamp king, for letting us through.' Captain Jack thanked as Jevin stepped out of the way to let the group pass, walking offstage.

Motivation! Finally!