The Hermitcraft Plays

2: Scene 1... probably

'Ok, day 2, we don't have time to finish the run through, so we're going straight to acting out scene 1... Villagers onstage, Rendolf and Pearl offstage. And... begin.'

'Do you know what time it is, Pearlie?' Rendolf exclaimed as he bounded onstage. Pearl followed.

'No, what time is it?'

'It's Christmas time!' 

'Yay!' Beef said. 'Christmas time!' 

'I know! Christmas time is the best time of the year! Especially when the Christmas God comes and blesses us with presents!'

'And, since it's Christmas Eve, the Christmas God will appear tonight!'

'What presents did you want, Rendolf?'

'I wanted the gift of new socks!' 

'Wow! Socks! What an amazing gift!' Pearl replied seriously 'I want a pet wolf! I'll call them Tilly!' How long is it to wait now?'

'Not long! Look, the sun's setting now! According to the ancient tradition the Christmas God will appear right...'

Scar burst onstage.

'I am evil!' He declared confidently, before actually looking at his script. 'Me and Cub have stolen your Christmas God and imprisoned him somewhere you will never find! From now on there will never be another Christmas!'

'Get away you foul Christmas Demon!' Rendolf declared, running at Scar before suddenly stopping as Scar held out his hand. 

'You cannot stop us! We have powerful magic, Rendolf! And we have provided many impossible challenges you must face if you even think you can beat us, the powerful, chaotic new rulers of Hermit town!' Scar's hand dropped to his side and a moment later Ren seemed to be able to move again. Pearl ran up beside him.

'You'll never beat us!' She called, ignoring the sound of Cub chanting 'Convex! Convex! Convex! Convex!' From the audience. 'We will get back the Christmas God whether you like it or.'

Pearl paused, hiding a sigh as Scar didn't interrupt her. A moment of blinking confusedly later, Scar read his line. 

'You will never succeed! The Fort of the Vexes is protected and our defences un- wait a minute- unsuper- Unsuper- ass table? Un-super ass table!' Grian screeched with laughter in the audience. 'So just you try to stop us!' 

'Unsurpassable!' Joe yelled. Grian was still laughing. Cub pulled out a piece of paper and furiously scribbled something down.

'We will stop you!' Ren vowed, continuing the scene. 

'You can try, you foolish dog-boy. I hope to see you die a painful death if you dare to start your journey! Poof of smoke!' And, with that, Scar walked offstage.

'Did you literally say the stage direction, Scar?' 

'Well I didn't see an actual poof of smoke.'

'RENDOLF! COME BACK! YOU CAN'T FIGHT HIM!' She yelled with a lot of energy, charging after him and offstage. 

'Continue to scene two!' 

A pause, before Ren and Pearl came back on the other side of the stage, clearly exhausted from running around the back of it.

'Rendolf- please...'

'He's gone!' 

'He disappeared in a cloud of smoke, of course he's gone.' Pearlie snapped back. 'Come on, we need to go back to Hermitville. The other villagers will be worried... it's Christmas Eve, Rendolf.'

'We need to get back the Christmas God, Pearlie. We can't let those Christmas Demons win! They've gone too far!'

'They said their traps were... un-super ass table.' Pearlie smirked as Scar, who did give a small laugh, burying his head in his hands. 'We shouldn't risk it. Even if we did we'd need supplies.'

'There's a shop not far from here that sells stuff... I've got enough money on me to buy stuff for us. If you're coming too...'

'It's cold... and it's really late.'

'We need to get back the Christmas God... the Christmas Demons aren't going to steal Christmas from me. And you can either go with me, or I go alone and hope to someone who can help me on the way.' Rendolf walked to go offstage and after a pause where Joe was clearly planning for more facial expressions that Pearl's frown, before she called over.

'Wait, I'll come. But only if you agree that if it gets too difficult, or if we're too far out of our depth, we're turning back and going home.'

'Agreed. Let's go. Now, where's the Christmas Demon's lair? The... Fort of the Vexes?' 

'First we should worry about supplies, and hopefully we can get a useful map to where we need to go.' Decided Pearl. 'Come on, if we're doing this we should do it quickly.'

And with that, Pearlie and Rendolf left the stage.

'You know, I missed doing this.' Beamed Ren as he bounded over to where Joe was calling him to sit.

'That was amazing.' He started by saying. 'That's the level of quality I want from all of you, ok? Scar, well done for not losing your script.'

'I'm keeping it in sight at all times, Joe. Don't worry.'

'Villagers, we need more energy. Just because you're background characters doesnt mean you need to be boring... Pearl, great exit from scene 1, really good emotion from you... Scar, if you need help with any words, don't be scared to ask someone.'

'I know words!' Scar replied defensively. 'I know lots of words.'

'Like Unsuper ass table?'

'Oh shut up, Grian.'

'Now, to build on your acting abilities, we're going to do a few improvisation games... Does everyone know what improvisation is?'

'What Scar did in the previous Hermit Play. Making everything up as he went.' Grian answered, clearly not over how his friend had gone without his script the entire previous play.

'Well...yes. Basically that. Now, the main rule of improvisation is not to block anyone else's ideas. Build on what you're given. We can do it small scale here... I need a location.'

'Deep dark.' Cub replied.

'Great. And a situation.'

'Trying to get the enchanting table in Double Life.'

'Sure... Ren, Scar, go on stage and act out this situation.'

Clearly excited to act again, Ren darted to the stage and, not exactly sure what he was doing, Scar followed.

'And, begin scene.'

'shh!'

'What scene is this?' Replied Scar,

'Picking Scar as an example wasn't a good idea, Joe.' Grian laughed.

'You're doing what you did in the last play and making up everything.'

'Oh I can do that!'

'Do you know where the enchanting table is?' Ren whispered.

'No, why are we whispering?'

'So we don't wake the warden!'

'There's a warden?!' Scar looked around.

'We're in the deep dark, if we're too loud it'll spawn.'

'Why is there an enchanting table in the deep dark?'

'Scar, dude. That was the prompt we were given.'

'I thought we were making everything up!'

'Exactly my point. Can I do it instead, this is painful to watch.'

'Don't worry, Scar. I believe in you!' Called Cub.

'Thanks!'

'We'll continue this idea tomorrow with an actual game...'

'Its not going to work.' Grian warned. 'This entire thing is a very bad idea.'

'Well, it worked last time. So I guess I'm just hoping it'll work again...'