The Hermitcraft Plays

6: The Convex Christmas Play

'Alright then.' Scar arrived last to the stage the next day, joined by Cub, who he'd already decided was his right-hand man. 'Hermit play time! It's... ooh! It's me and Cub's scene!' He gave a short laugh, before continuing. 'Now, as all good rehearsals should we're going to begin with a warmup... everyone, get in a circle. You too, Joe. You're still part of this play too. Now... Grian! Name 10 Star Wars characters and the first film they appeared in!'

'It took LESS THAN 2 MINUTES for you to bring up Star Wars?!' 

'Yes. Name the characters.'

'Uhh... Luke Skywalker... Princess Leia, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Darth Vader, the Mandalorian, Boba Fett, Grogu... Yoda... The Emperor... And...'

'You've already made 2 mistakes.' Scar replied smugly.

'I've literally only named the characters!'

'Mando and Grogu don't appear in any films.' 

To which Grian let out a yell of annoyance. 

'SCAR!'

'What?! I told you to name the first film they were in, and if they're not in a film, they don't count! Besides, I'm the all-powerful director of the Convex Christmas Play and you have to do what I say.' 

'C3PO and R2D2. All of them appear in the Force Awakens first except Boba Fett, Yoda and the Emperor who first appear in the Empire Strikes Back.'

'Incorrect... Bdubs! Name 10 reasons Top Gun is a great film.' 

'No.'

'Bdubs. I'm in control of Hermitcraft now. Name 10 reasons Top Gun is a great film.' 

'I can't think of any.' He replied honestly, crossing his arms. Scar narrowed his eyes. 

'Incorrect. Cub, name 10 Convex Pranks.'

'Easy. Rencat, Jurassic Park-ing the NHO, Red Sea Bay of Pigs, Elder Guardian Russian Nesting Dolls in Mumbo's base... taking Zedaph's Wormman Merch, Ice Queen Tango, slime in Iskall's dock, Pirates in False's base, blowing up Xisuma with a creeper and... decorating the Season 6 shopping district in vex magic and giving the statue of Hermitt-y a vex mask.' He replied promptly.

'Gold star for Cub.' Scar replied, to further complaints from Grian and Bdubs, and a delighted 'woo!' From Cub. 'Doc, name... 10 Disney Princesses.' 

'What?'

'Name 10 Disney Princesses.' 

'Uhh... Rapunzel, Snow White, Cinderella... Anna and Elsa... Ariel... Jasmine... Sleeping Beauty...'

'Incorrect.'

'What?' 

'Sleeping Beauty has a name.'

'I don't know what it is.'

'Well you failed. Joe, name 10... Cub, any ideas?'

'Name 10... Astronauts.' 

'Ooh, good idea. Joe?'

'Neil Armstrong... Buzz Lightyear... Something Aldrin... that's all I know.'

'Oh come on... Only 3?'

'Buzz Lightyear isn't even an astronaut! He's a toy!' Protested Grian

'And even if he was, he's technically a space ranger... anyway, let's get on with the actual play.' Scar bound over to the still-unfixed stage, followed by Cub and Bdubs, refusing to let go of the director's script. He managed the right scene in it, and a whole lot of annotations of ideas he'd have to read around.