The Hermitcraft Plays

Ch 7: Everything's going wrong

Ahhhh I need to finish this book.

'Right, we're skipping to the final confrontation. Because we've barely got any time left and this needs a lot of stuff to make it good... Doofenshmirtz, Evil Zedaph, you're onstage.' Joe decided, sitting in front of the reconstructed stage, a terrifying number of weeks into rehearsing the play. 

'I get to blow stuff up!' Tango punched the air in delight. 'Finally!' 

'Yep. But... not actually, ok? We're going to do this slowly, because we've got some complicated choreography and stunts to fit into it... Din Djaren, Pearlie, enter stage right. 

Pearl ran onstage, and Scar followed after, clearly not knowing what he was actually supposed to be doing. 

'Oh no! It's those villagers that were resisting! We need to stop them!' Zedaph pointed at them, faking terror. 'Doofenshmirtz! What should we do?'

'Kill them! There's only two of them!'

'Impulse! False! That's your cue!' 

'Coming!' Yelled Impulse, running onstage, tripping over and falling facefirst, before scrambling to his feet, ready to fight. False followed. 'We'll defeat you! For kidnapping Grain and enslaving us to the Ice Queen!'

'Grian's been kidnapped?!' Scar gasped. 'No!' 

'If you think you can defeat Dr Evil, you're wrong! We will stop you!' Tango declared. Silence. Scar looked around at the others.

'You pathetic sidekicks can't stop me!' 

'Scar! It's not your line!' Muttered Pearl. 

'Then why isn't anyone talking?!'

'Cub, Xisuma, you're on.'

'Cub's not here.' Xisuma explained. 'I didn't know if I should just wait for him or...' 

Joehillssays: CUB WHERE ARE YOU

Cubfan135: coming! 

It wasn't longer than a couple of minutes that they were waiting for Cub before he landed, holding a cake.

'I made cake?' He holds it up sheepishly

Joe closed his mouth, desire for cake stopping him from arguing about lateness.

'Fine. Does anyone want some cake?' 

'Yes I do.' Immediately, Grian walked over to Cub, taking a slice of cake. Tango, Xisuma, and several others followed. Scar remained where he was. 

'Don't trust him! Don't trust the cake! The... the cake is a lie!'

'Very good lie though.' Grian replied with a mouth full of cake. 'And we've literally gone over this a thousand times. Cub's not evil.'

Scar didn't reply. Joe shrugged, mouth full of cake. 

'Continue the scene. Pearl, Scar, Impulse, False, Tango, Zedaph, get onstage again. Cub, Xisuma, you enter in a moment.' 

The group obeyed, returning to their positions. 

'Last line again please, Tango?'

'Sure! If you think you can kill Dr Evil, you're wrong! We will stop you!'

Cub and Xisuma ran onstage, taking their positions. Scar drew a sword.

'Cub! The foul traitor! We meet again!' 

'SCAR IT'S NOT YOUR LINE!'

'It appears that we do. So you made it past the ice queen's palace, did you?'