My comfort//Helena Bonham Carter characters and Y/n one shots

100 days//Bellatrix

Ok look-

I know I said I'll write fluff to make up for the 'toxic' two shot, but I lied-

ANGST IS SO FUN TO WRITE LEAVE ME ALONE

100 days

14 weeks

2400 hours

144000 minutes

That's how long it took for me to realize she's not coming back home.

Bellatrix and I have been a couple for as long as anyone could remember. We've gone through everything together, abusive childhoods, becoming death eaters, missions, azkaban, ministry of magic fight, everything. Every mission the dark lord has ever sent us on, we've gone together. There have been only two before this one where we were alone. They went alright, neither of us were hurt when we came back, but we had missed each other desperately, vowing to never depart again. We had begged the dark lord, both of us, to let both of us go on this mission. It was a five week long mission that Bellatrix was required to go on, and we barely had time to say goodbye. We hugged and kissed, as always, but that's it. 

That was the last ever hug or kiss I would ever receive from Bellatrix.

Why?
Because after 7 weeks of her being gone, the Dark lord had told me she didn't make it. I didn't believe him. I refused to believe him; But now it's been 14 weeks, almost 15, and 100 days have passed since I last saw her. And I finally realized she's not coming back.

Bellatrix was never coming back.

I would never see my lover again.

Narcissa would never see her sister again.

Draco would never see his auntie ever again.

I would never be able to feel her soft skin against mine.

Never again watch her face scrunch up when she was disgusted.

Never laugh at her stupid dark jokes.

Or cry in her arms after a nightmare.

I'd never feel her lips against mine.

Feel her body melt against mine whenever our lips meet.

Feel her bare skin against mine when we make love.

Feel her cold temperature when she cuddles into me.

Be able to hold her tightly and assure it's all ok.

Because it's not ok. It never will be. She's gone, and she's never coming back. The love of my life is dead, and her body can't be found, even if it is, I don't think I could bear being near it. Seeing her lively face and pale skin even paler and her eyes cold and dead. I don't think I'd ever be able to stand that.

I currently reside in our room, in our house, sobbing my eyes out, in her favorite hoodie. It's lost her scent. The only thing that remains of her in it, is the fact that it was her favorite, and she'd wear it almost every day, unless she wore one of my hoodies. Her scent has faded from many things, and only remains in a few things I refuse to touch. A few drops of her blood reside in a small vial that was made into a necklace and that I am currently, and always wearing. Her picture is in a locket around my neck, the ring she proposed with on my ring finger. The ring I'll have to live with for the rest of my life, knowing I will never have the chance to ever marry her. I won't be able to stand in front of Hogwarts burning and say 'I do' to her, like we've always planned. We planned to have Narcissa do the whole 'legal' thing, but Bella and I were going to burn the school after it was taken over, we were going to burn the places we had the most trauma in, and then we'd walk a little away, watch it burn, and get married. A twisted idea really, but we're both equally traumatized and insane. Well-we were both equally traumatized and insane. Now I'm here, traumatized by her death, and she's gone. Forever. Never to be seen again, never to be heard of again.

I don't even know how she died.

I should've been with her.

It's my fault.

I could've begged the Dark Lord more.

I could've gone on the mission without his permission.

I could've done SOMETHING.

"Y/n?"
I jump up, turning, hoping to see Bella, only to see her little sister, Narcissa.

Her face is full of pity. She had already gone through her grieving, not fully, but she accepted it mere days after she got the news. I had comforted her, even though I didn't believe she was dead.
"Is-is she alive?" I choke out, hoping to some sort of higher power that her death was a ruse from the Dark Lord.

Narcissa sits next to me, opening her arms.

I hesitate.

I only like physical touch when it's Bella.

But she's not here.
She'll never be here again.

And so I hesitantly place myself into Narcissa's arms, resting there for a few moments, before taking a breath and realizing she smells similar to Bella. I don't hold it in, I begin sobbing madly in her arms, grabbing onto her shirt. "She's really gone." I manage out, feeling Cissa nod from above me.

"She is." She whispers.