My comfort//Helena Bonham Carter characters and Y/n one shots

Destined to lose//Bellatrix

Guys I promise this has a plot, just get past the depressing letter, poetry thing :')

Also I attempted to make this slightly gender neutral cause I've realized quite a few readers are non-binary

ANGST MY BELOVED <3333

Oh My Dear Bella,

Where do I even begin? It's become nearly impossible to organize my thoughts about you these past couple of months. You have always claimed your spot in my mind, soul, and body, however, now more than ever, I think of everything, every part of you. The way you looked at people with such disgust but looked at me with such admiration in your eyes, as if the entire world was filth and I was the singular star remaining. The way whenever I'd talk to you, you'd look at me in absolute awe, with the most enchanting yet mysterious eyes the world has ever seen. Your voice that would bring terror to anyone but me as the tone was always quite different when you and I remained alone; Soft as honey and quieter than anyone were to ever think. Your smile, oh your smile, it was even sweeter than honey, oh how I long to see your smile outside of pictures once more. The entirety of you was poetry in itself, and I long to open your pages again, carefully dissect each and every word, figure out dialogs, and meanings, thoughts and emotions.

It has truly taken me a while to realize I will never get over you, no matter how hard I try. I am beyond horrified at my own emotions, at the way I long to see you again, although I know it is a wish that can not be demanded. You saved my life, Bella, and although you do not think of yourself as some sort of savior, you truly are one. You're an angel disguised as a devil, an evil that spreads from good. You were exactly what I needed, you gave me air when I lacked it, and that is a debt I can never repay. You will always remain important to me, despite our many disputes. The image of you will sit with me forever, in a corner of my mind that takes up far too much space to even account for; In a corner of my heart that always aches, even when time decides there is nothing left to grieve. Loving you was simply like a rose. It's a simple simile. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever done, however, it is also the most painful. I wrapped my hand around the stem, ignoring the stinging pain and focusing on the beauty, the emotions, the love, until I could ignore the pain no more, until the thorns dug so deeply into my hands that blood seeps from the cuts and I have no choice but to pull away from the rose and bandage myself up.

Was it worth it? Worth every risk, every restless night, every moment in time, every single sting of pain and betrayal? Yes. I do believe so. You were exactly who I wanted to be with, who I wanted to hear in the morning and the one I wanted to fall asleep with. Any time, any day, any moment, I would wish to be in your presence, toxic or not.

I have begun to understand that there is not a single word that describes my ever long lasting feelings towards you and that has gotten me thinking more deeply about our love. I have understood that loving me has never been that easy. I may think you were worth it, but was I worth it? Throughout the majority of our relationship, I was like a broken mirror, shattered pieces that could be glued back on, but would eventually break again, never the same as before. I was ruined beyond repair, and you saw that clearly, you saw the way I caused pain. Perhaps in a perfect world I would never hurt you, and you would never hurt me. Perhaps in a perfect world, all our imperfections worked together to create perfections, and hurt was never even a word that has crossed our minds.

In another life, another world, another universe, another dimension, something, we are together. I keep on dreaming of the day where I can be with you, travel somewhere you still remain in your physical form rather than simply an immaterial part of the universe. I dream when I can be with you despite all the problems in our lives. I dream that you never leave me, and I never leave you, because what else can I do? This is the way it is, the way it has to be. I am destined to love you, but I am also destined to lose you.

-3rd person switch-

Sighing, the younger witch allows their tears to finally fall against their lover's grave, the letter now folded and carefully placed in an envelope, resting on the grave in front of them, roses settled above it. The autumn breeze flows past them, threatening but also offering to take the letter and roses away from their dead lover's grave. Threatening never letting them see the letter again, but yet offering to transport the letter into an immaterial part of the world where Bellatrix's soul may still exist.

Unbeknownst to the young witch, their old love is standing only feet away from them, hidden behind the trees and watching her sweet darling cry over her grave; questioning whether faking her death for the dark lord was the correct thing to do or not. Bellatrix had always known when her partner was to be at her grave, so she would always stand and watch, taking the flowers and letters with her every time her partner left, reading the notes and sobbing her eyes out, wanting nothing more than to hold her beloved once more.

Destined to lose each other indeed.

Oh, how I abhor being in love with someone who hates me, and I can not contact at all.

ANYWAYS

How are you guys doing?? It's been quite a while.

I truly do apologize for the absence, but there's been so much happening in my life, and writers block has been an absolute fucking ass :')

I hope you have a nice day/night and I'm always here for each and every one of you!