My comfort//Helena Bonham Carter characters and Y/n one shots

Shadow//Eudoria

"I'm telling you, you spend every waking hour you have around her, whether you're free or not." She tells me, taking one of my pieces from the board, causing me to scoff.

"What do you know?" I ask, capturing one of her chess pieces in response, smirking up at her.
"You remember last time, correct?"
"Last time of what?"
"Last time you fell in love."
"Of course I do."

Last time

Biggest mistake I ever made

I never understood whether or not something good came out of it, because for all of the good, the bad was doubled. Last time I couldn't tell the difference between my emotions. I can't trust my emotions. It's why Eudoria, the polite lady sitting in front of me, constantly has to tell me what I'm feeling. Emotions have always been such a foreign thing to me, I had never fully understood them, and the last time I expressed those emotions, well, as I had said, nothing good came from it.

I snap out of my thoughts as Eudoria clears her throat, causing me to realize it's my turn to move my chess piece. "Biggest mistake of my life."
The woman in front of me shakes her head in disapproval, moving her chess piece after mine. "Just because there was a bad outcome, does not mean it was the worst mistake of your life."
"Eudoria..." I trail off, completely disregarding the chess game and looking up at her, being met with a pair of sad, yet welcoming eyes, and a soft smile.

"It was a good time."
"It was, I just-" I pause, trying to find the right words. "I'm just not ready." I whisper.

"Ready to move on?"
"Yes."
"Or ready to accept you're moving on?"

"What's the difference?"

"There's a big difference. I'm going to make the choice for you, and say that you're afraid to accept the fact that you're moving on. You're terrified to let those emotions come back."
A lump gets stuck in my throat as I examine the woman in front of me. "What if she does the same? What if-?" My voice cracks as I stop, a tear falling from my eye, which I'm quick to wipe away.

"She won't." Eudoria assures me softly.
"You don't know that. I didn't know that last time."

"Even if she does, it's worth the memory, is it not?"
"No."
"Am I not worth the memory?"

I think about that for a moment. Yes, Eudoria was my past lover, and yes, she was the biggest mistake of my life, but is she worth the memory?

"You're hesitating."
"Of course I'm hesitating!" I snap.

"That means I am. If I weren't, you wouldn't be hesitating."

I bow my head in defeat. "I can't take that pain again, Eudoria. It hurt enough with you last time."
"But I'm still here, am I not?"
"Yes, but in the shadow of a ghost."

"I'm also up here." She points to my forehead, although I don't feel the touch of her warm hands as they meet my forehead. "And here." She points to my heart, once again only leaving a slight breeze. "That's as much as you need." Before I have the chance to respond, the woman in front of me glances over her shoulder, as if there's someone there, and perhaps there is. Perhaps there's another ghost, or another figure hidden in the shadows that my mortal eyes can not see. She turns back to me and gives me a soft smile. "Whatever happens, I want you to remember that what happened to me wasn't your fault, and whatever comes out of this will not be either. If there is a bad outcome, it won't be your fault. I'm sure of it." Eudoria removes her hand away from my heart and leans back.
"Please don't go." I sob out, tears flowing down my face unconsciously.

"I have to, my love."
"Will I see you again?"
"Only the times will tell."
"Please." I beg.

"I'll come back as soon as possible. Be happy, ok?"

"Ok." I whisper, watching as she fades into the cool breeze that brushes through the library, our chess pieces from our discarded game fallen over.

Eudoria had died near the time when I had proposed to her, and she was my first ever love. I had dated before her, yes, but she was the first person I had ever fallen so deeply for. She had died in some sort of combat the day we had one of our fights. The fights didn't happen often, not at all, maybe once every five months or so, and normally we resolved them a day later, however when we had resolved the issue, I had leaned in to give the woman a hug and a kiss, like I always did, only to realize that she was no longer mortal. That she was now part of the stories we tell our children. Ghosts. Hidden in the shadows, watching mortals live their long, endless lives.

Eudoria had given me everything I had ever needed, she helped me learn my feelings, she helped me understand myself, and I was so deeply in love with her. I still am. Losing her devastated me, and I've refused any human contact until recently when I had met a woman at my daily coffee shop. We had hit it off quite well, but I felt as if I was betraying Eudoria, and frankly, if I could, I'd choose Eudoria all over again.

In another life, I suppose.

IT IS TWO AM AND I AM FILLED WITH CAFFINE AND MOTIVATION WHOO

Anyways here's a little angsty one shot for y'all

Uhhh I have no idea if this makes any logical sense cause y'know, two am, so please feel free to ask me stuff and I beg of you to tell me if anything doesn't make sense

Anyways have a nice day/night, I'm always here to talk/rant if you need me <3