When it Rains (Completed)

CHAPTER 27

It's a quarter past midnight. He was sleeping quietly on my side, yet I'm still wide awake. On his bed, I thought of possible things that might happen in the next days, weeks, or even the rest of our lives. I need to make a decision right away or everything will fall apart.

But how?

Where should I start?

This is quite overwhelming, for real. I haven't gone through any relationship back then that was deeper than we have now. No one dared to come near me when everyone, except Lori, thought I was a freak passing out in the middle of the rain. I didn't make any friends, yet the guy sleeping on my side is dating me.

But will it ever last?

Will we ever last?

I was getting more anxious day by day, as we kept dating in secret. Of course, I didn't want him to know what I was really feeling. I don't want him to worry more about me anymore.

He assured that our families would most likely accept us, but I feared what Kuya Alrey could possibly do if we came out. I've felt his hands choking my neck when I do something that will make him mad. I've felt the tightness of his hands on my wrists, and the anger of his words echoing in my mind. The pain I've dealt with in silence. I don't even want to remember it all again—it's just too disgusting.

Should I tell him this?

I don't want to. I don't want to build anger in him for Kuya Alrey. It would ruin both of our families.

But I don't want to hide anything from him. He knew of my past. He knew that my family died in a disaster. The reason why my fears still lingered within me. The reason why I pass out every time it rains.

I had liked the idea of living on my own since then, but Tita Alice didn't want me to. I'm still grateful they took good care of me, paid my expenses, and treated me like I was part of their family. But, I don't want them to influence any of my decisions I make now that I'm getting older.

If it means cutting their financial support, then I should probably go back to my place and start a new life. I would take back what I've left there and live on my own.

The next day, I woke up to the sunlight upon us coming through the window glass. "Wake up, my sunshine," he greeted me with a smile.

"Wow, I wasn't informed na may call sign na pala tayo," sabi ko. I caressed his cheek with the palm of my right hand. "Kamusta ka naman? Did you have a good sleep?"

"Of course, nasa tabi kita. I was even happy to see you in my dreams."

"Really? What did I do in your dream?"

"I saw you kissing me torridly—"

Nahampas ko kaagad ang kamay ko sa braso niya. "Too early in the morning."

"What? I just stated what I really saw," he giggled. "But, aside from that, I saw you holding my hand so tight while someone was trying to take you from me. You didn't let me go until I woke up, and your face was the first thing I saw."

"As if I would let you go."

I should have texted Tita Alice the truth last night, but I lied. Sinabi ko na naospital ang friend ko sa university kaya umalis ako sa reception. Ngayon, aalis muna ako sa condo niya at babalik ako sa bahay.

Manghihiram ako muna ng damit niya sa closet, since I don't want to go back home wearing my suit that was soaked in rain yesterday. His clothes were pretty large since he has a gym fit body. He gave me a white plain shirt, which was the smallest of his clothes but still larger than my size. Then he let me pair it with his cargo shorts and white sneakers.

He was dressing me like a child.

I was looking at my reflection in the body mirror when he gently put a black cap over my head. "It looks good on you."

He suddenly wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"I'll be back sooner, okay?" sabi ko.

Nag-aalala ako sa kanya. Gusto ko sanang manatili at samahan siya dito pero mas lalong magdududa sila Tita kapag nagtagal pa ako. Babalik rin naman ako pero iba na ang palusot ko.

I left a kiss on his lips before I finally walked down the hallway and went out of the building. I took a taxi and went back to my home with my wet suit in a bag. Nadatnan ko lang si Ate Reina na mag-isa sa bahay. Medyo nagulat naman siya sa pagdating ko. "Ikaw pala 'yan, Flynn. Akala ko sino," sabi niya nang mapansin ang outfit ko.

Sinabihan naman niya ako na natutulog pa raw sina Tita sa kwarto nila dahil sa pagod sa event. Kaya dumiretso na ako sa kwarto.

Pasimple naman akong nag-impake ng ilang damit sa bag ko at mga art materials. I will stay a few days at his condo, for sure. Magpapaalam lang ako.

Pagbaba ko ay nagising na sina Tita at nag-aagahan. "Oh, nakauwi ka na pala, 'nak. Sa'n punta mo? Marami ka atang dala," sabi niya nang mapansin ang backpack ko at isang handbag na puno ng art materials.

"Magpapaalam po sana ako na makiki-stay muna ako sa friend ko para tapusin ang project namin."

Nagkatinginan naman sila. "Saan naman bahay niya? Para kami na lang hahatid sa'yo—"

"No, it's okay. Kaya ko na po. Promise, babalik po ako kaagad pagkatapos ng submission namin," kaagad kong sabi.

"Okay. Mag-iingat ka ha."

Finally, nakaalis na ako. Mabuti na lang wala si Kuya at walang pipigil sa ak—

"Flynn."

There, I was taken aback by his sudden presence at the front gate. "Johen."

"Where have you been yesterday? Hinanap ka kita pero hindi na kita nahagilap sa party."

Napnasin naman niya ang mga dala ko. "Saan ka naman pupunta?"

"Johen, whatever we've done yesterday, kalimutan mo na lahat ng 'yon. I have made up my decision—leave me alone."

"Why? You said you will give me a chance—"

"I have changed my mind, Johen. I hope you'd respect or else you'll lose the respect I earned for you."

"So you're dumping me? Right?"

"Why would I dump you when we're not in a relationship in the first place? Sorry, I have to go."

I walked past him and his car. My words were too harsh, I know, but it was the only way to stop what he'd started—his feelings for me. He was a good friend indeed, but Patrick matters the most to me now.

I went back to his condo, and he quickly greeted me the way I left the place earlier. He agreed that I will stay in his place until he gets better. He's still grieving, I know, and he's trying to hide it because of me.

I did remind him to let go of his emotions. That small baggage inside him will most likely grow until he'll burst and lose his mind—something I don't want to witness in him. I know, he had lived by the idea of toxic masculinity wherein a man is prohibited of showing true emotions for the sake of manly image. In these times, there should be a place for men to cry and break down in tears rather than to die inside until they can't take it anymore.

There, on his couch, he really broke down in tears, but I stayed by his side. I stayed.