When it Rains (Completed)

CHAPTER 17

The clock hits twelve, yet the sun doesn't seem to shine over the place yet. The sky was gloomy and rain was looming soon. I'm here on the balcony, seizing the moment before the rain starts to fall. The meal gave me the warmth I needed to bear this cold atmosphere.

From this vantage point, the view of the woods was breathtaking. It appears mysterious, and I'm curious as to what lies beyond. Gusto kong pumunta doon pero lagpas na 'yon ng territory ng lugar.

Hindi pa naman bumabagsak ang ulan ay naudlot na ang katahimikan ng buhay ko nang dumating siya. Hindi ko na lang siya pinansin at nagpatuloy na lang sa pagkain.

Umalis naman siya na ikinataka ko pero buti naman, hindi ko kailangan ang presensya niya sa oras na 'yon.

Pagkatapos kong kumain ay dinala ko ang pinagkainan ko sa lababo. He was also eating in the dining area. I didn't mind him and washed my dishes.

Himala, ang tahimik niya.

Hindi na ako nagpaalam pa sa kanya at bumaba ako. Nagpasya akong lumabas muna saglit at mag-ikot-ikot sa cabin resort. I wore my favorite cardigan and brought my phone with me. Bumangad sa akin ang sobrang tahimik na lugar. I wonder if there's any guest here aside from us.

I took a look at my phone and opened the weather app. It was supposed to rain, but I didn't mind and went for a walk around the resort anyway. While I was roaming around, the staff greeted me as if I were a VIP guest. Siguro, dahil nagstay kami sa malaking cabin ng resort, pero hindi naman ata 'yon big deal.

Nasa harap na ako ng gubat na tinitignan ko kanina sa balcony. Pinagsabihan naman ako ng isang staff na bawal lumagpas sa fence dahil restricted area na ang gubat.

Behind the fog, the woods appeared to conceal something. My curiosity grew as my sight traveled further into the woods, until I heard voices. It enticed me until I realized I was on the verge of leaping over the fence. A hand grabbed my arm, stopping me from doing what I was about to do.

"Kakasabi lang na bawal lumagpas. Ano sa tingin mo ang ginagawa mo?" sabi niya kaya binawi ko ang paa sa bakod.

"May narinig lang ako. Gusto ko sanang puntahan."

"Going beyond the woods is a su*cide, Flynn. Let's go back to the cabin bago pa tayo maabutan ng ulan."

The wind tried to drag me back into the woods as we moved away from the fence. Until we arrived at our cabin, he wrapped his arm around my back. I returned my gaze to the woods. I'm not sure why it appeals to me so much.

"Flynn, okay ka lang ba?" he stared at me while his hands are over my shoulders.

"Okay lang ako."

"Are you sure?"

"Oo nga—"

Bigla na lang niya ako niyakap. "Don't ever do that again. Sorry kung inaway kita kanina. Please stay."

Hindi na lang ako umimik pero nanatili lang ako sa yakap niya. It was cold outside, but he provided the instant warmth I didn't realize I needed. It felt strange every time he breathed near my nape, but I still liked it. Something began to beat on my chest at that point. I assumed it was mine, but I believe it was his.

"Kahit pagtabuyan mo pa ako, I will always be here for you."

Everything was quite familiar. Parang narinig ko na ang mga sinabi niya dati pero hindi ko masyado maaalala. I was thinking of someone else at this moment.

The rain began to pour as the night fell. Mas naging malamig ang panahon, buti na lang may fireplace sa living room. Nakatambay lang ako dito at nanood ng movie. May isang shelf kasi na puno ng DVDs kaya nagpasya akong manood muna pero ni hindi man lang nagclick sa akin yung pinanood ko. Pinatay ko na lang ang TV.

"Hey, ikalimang DVD na yan. Ni wala ka man lang tinapos kahit isa," reklamo ng kasama ko na nasa likuran ko.

"Sobrang predictable ng mga plot. Apakaboring," nasabi ko.

I heard his footsteps approaching and he walked right past me. He reached for something on the shelves. It was a vinyl record, which I hadn't noticed earlier. He put it into the record player, and music began to play.

Not a huge fan of old records, but something about it appealed to me at the time. I'm not sure I recognize the song, but my thoughts begin to wander along its melody and every lyric it says.

"Tumayo ka nga, baka naupuan mo phone ko," sabi niya sa akin kaya napatayo naman ako.

Tinignan ko ang inupuan ko at wala naman akong nakitang phone. "Wala naman ah—"

Bigla na lang niyang kinuha ang dalawang kamay ko at nilapat sa magkabilang balikat niya. Agad niyang nilagay ang kanyang mga kamay naman sa beywang ko.

"Gotcha."

I tried to push him away, but his hands on my waist keep pulling me. "Ano naman 'tong kakornihan na 'to?"

"Com'on, Flynn, lahat na lang ba, corny sa'yo?"

Unti-unti siyang gumalaw kaya sinundan ko na lang ang bawat galaw niya. I just rolled my eyes as he started swaying me to the floor. His laugh starts to annoy me again.

"Flynn, may I ask something?"

"1 question only," matipid kong sagot.

"Even if you'd never like me back, can we stay like this?"

This time, his tone was a bit serious. He leaned his head against mine, and caressed my cheeks. "You've never left my mind since the day we met, Flynn. And now, you've started dwelling in my heart, engraving your name. Just a single stare from you, my heart pounds and I couldn't resist it."

"But why? Why it has to be me? Of all the billion people in this world, why me?" I asked. "Dahil ba naaawa ka sa akin?"

"I like you. The way you smile. The way you laugh. The way look at me. The way your voice sounds. Everything about you, Flynn. I like you and your entirety."

"Corn—"

Naputol ang sinabi ko nang biglang dumampi ang labi niya sa akin. "Next time you say it, I'll kiss you."

"Do you have the permission to kiss me? You keep doing it without my consent."

"Your eyes don't lie, Flynn. You like it, don't you?"

"No."

"I'll kiss you again. Umatras ka na if ayaw mo talaga."

He pulled me once more, and he drew his face nearer mine with his eyes on me. Something was resisting me to move away from him, and I just closed my eyes as he pressed his lips against mine.

It felt strange, not until I replied to his kiss and move my lips on his.

"I didn't know you're a good kisser. Who taught you?"

"Shut up," sabi ko at hinila siya pabalik.

I completely lost my mind. Lost my control. My hands was already on his nape, keeping him close to me. We exchanged kisses, and short breaks to breathe, then back at pressing each other's lips once more.

Napagod ako sa ginawa namin kaya binawi ko muna ang labi ko at hinabol ang hininga ko. Parang akong galing sa marathon sa hingal.

"I'll give you what you want. Just take me home tomorrow," I said, giving him the permission he wanted. "Bed? Kitchen? Couch—"

"It's not what I want, Flynn," sabi niya.

"Then what? I'm thinking you like me because you want to have sex with me."

"No, Flynn. I am genuinely have feelings for you. Don't you get it? I'm not playing with you. I'm f*cking serious here, Flynn."

Tinulak ko siya palayo. Parang ang gulo-gulo na ng utak ko. Kay raming bagay na tumatakbo sa isip ko, at unti-unti nang sumisikip ang pakiramdam ko, hanggang sa hindi ko na napigilang ang luha ko. "I AM F*CKING TIRED OF THIS LIFE, PATRICK. AKALA MO BA MADALI LANG LAHAT SA AKIN HA? I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO LOVE MYSELF ANYMORE, SO HOW COULD I LOVE SOMEONE ELSE IN THIS STATE? PUT*NGINA."

My voice cracked as I started letting out of my emotions. I couldn't help myself but to raise my voice when I uttered those words. "PAGOD NA PAGOD NA AKO SA PESTENG PHOBIA NA 'TO. GUSTO KO NA LANG MAGPAKAMATAY. GUSTO KO NA LANG NA SUMUNOD SA PAMILYA KO, T*NGINA."

Then I was reminded of what he told me. My tears continues to rush on my face. "GUSTO MO BANG MALAMAN HA? SIGE TUTAL CURIOUS KA DIBA? T*NGINA. OH, PAGBIBIGYAN KITA."

"Flynn, calm down—"

"Tinangay ng alon yung bahay namin. Walang natira. Tinangay ng baha yung buong pamilya ko, Patrick. Sinubukan ko silang isalba. Sinuong ko ang baha para iligtas lang sila. Pero wala na akong nadatnan kung hindi ang mga wala ng mga buhay na katawan nila. Doon nagsimula ang lahat. Doon ako nagsimulang magkaroon ng phobia. Sobrang sakit. Kasi tuwing inaatake ako, naaalala ko ang lahat. Hindi lang ako basta-bastang nahihimatay. Naririnig ko ang mga boses nila. Nakikita ko ang rumaragasang tubig na tumangay sa kanila. Buti na lang, paggising ko nakakalimutan ko agad yung nangyari. Pero parati na lang. Sa tuwing umuulan. Sa tuwing bumabaha. Sa tuwing nasa dagat ako. Naaalala ko ang lahat, Patrick."

I found myself catching my breath after what I've said. I just felt like my knees weakened and I broke down on the floor. "Oh, masaya ka na ba? Ha? Nalaman mo na ang lahat ng tungkol sa akin? Ano pa ba ang gusto mo malaman? Curious ka sakin 'diba?"

His arms encircled me again. I buried my face in his chest and didn't give a damn if I cried all over his shirt. I just couldn't stop crying as my memories continued to flash inside my head.

"I'm sorry."