"You lucky I'm on break," my mom told me as soon as she heard my story of things. Of course I had to water shit down and make myself into the perfect angel she knew me to be. I got into some drama again, I went too far, I feel unsafe here. Come pick me up. Some "white girl tears" type of shit, I know.
My mom was an apartment manager of our complex, so she was both nearby and had flexible hours. That was an extra mark on my board today, since I needed her. I needed someone to lie to me and soothe me when I was low. To make me feel better about shit so I could get out of this depressive funk I could feel myself sinking into. Then, once I'm better, I can really think about shit as a real ass bitch and see what move I can make next.
I'd already apologized in the hall and Tara wasn't tryna hear none of it. The next step is a real apology, maybe clearing my name, and getting the hell out of this school before people start turning on me. Maybe apologizing to Nolina too, and seeing if Caren even wants to be my friend anymore. That sounds like a good plan to me...just complicated as hell, honestly.
But if I say that I'm real and honest and blunt...then it's time for me to prove that when the way I was acting towards Tara was anything but. It's time for me to step up and be a good human being. What I was doing to her was wrong. Like something was defective or some shit about Tara liking studs and we both lesbians. I was childish with the way I acted, and now it's time for change.
I just gotta let my mama baby me, so I can get back off of my feet and shoot my shot at walking again.
You know?
I was forced to go back to the class period I was supposed to be in right now, which was the middle of my fifth period. Otherwise, my mom couldn't officially sign me out if I stayed in the bathroom.
I pulled my hoodie over my head, walking through the halls. I passed people skipping and the occasional teacher making their trek from the printing room with the printer that barely worked. Nobody paid me any mind as I arrived at Ms. Applebottom's door and prepared myself for the treatment I might receive from Tara.
Had any admin's been looking for me?
Would the teacher immediately send me out?
I knocked on the door and somebody came up to it to open it. I entered the class, not able to help myself when I glanced across the room to look for Tara. She was at the desk I had taken from her on the first day, her head down as she bobbed her head to whatever music she was listening to while completing a Physics assignment.
"Yes?"
I turned my attention back to the teacher who was waiting for me to talk expectantly. I approached her desk and told her that my mom would be picking me up. "And where have you been?" she asked me, starting to call in to the office so they'd give her the go ahead to let me go to the front.
"Anybody called here about me?" I asked, dodging her question.
"No...were you skipping?"
"I wasn't feeling well," I lied, hoping she hadn't heard about the commotion in the hallway.
"Okay."
She talked on the phone with them and I glanced back at Tara. She still hadn't looked up yet. Or maybe she had, and I hadn't noticed.
"You can go ahead, Gialla," the teacher informed me, hanging up. "Tara," she then said, "you can go to the bathroom now."
Someone nudged Tara as I left the room so she could take the pass. I text my mom that I was on the way to the front as I headed there.
"Gialla!" Tara called out sharply, coming from the class as I glanced back.
"Crap," I said.
"Where you been?" she asked me, her eyes hard as she quickly caught up to me. I clutched my bag, taking a step back from her. "In the bathroom. I'm leaving."
"Not before I get my one on one," she stated.
"I'm sorry, Tara, okay? I'll fall back," I promised.
"You never did that these past few years when I wished more than anything that you would. You know how much it sucked to fight you? But now you wanna back down when I finally truthfully wanna fight you."
"I'm sorry," I repeated, staring genuinely into her eyes, "I'm an ass and I know it. It was wrong for me to treat you the way that I did."
"You hate me, huh?" she asked out of the blue, shaking her head.
"No...I-
"The way you act shows me that you do," she pointed at me. She started to walk towards the bathroom, bumping into my bruised shoulder like I had done to her's earlier. "I'm still getting my one on one."
I let her go into the bathroom before I kept continuing that way to the front, feeling like a horrible ass person.
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