"The counselor wants you to go to her office," my first period teacher said as soon as I entered the class.
Tara wasn't nowhere to be found, and this is probably why. Maybe her counselor pulled her out of class too. Or maybe she had heard about things early in the rumor mill and decided to stay home.
I probably would have.
"Okay," I said simply, waiting for them to write me my pass. I took the pass and wandered the halls a bit. I still had a little hope that I'd run into Tara and try to figure out how shit got like this. Did she tell Nolina to say this? Are they still together? Will anything Tara say be able to clear my name at this school?
It's hard enough liking females at a black school. They're so many people raised by old school parents who just don't know how to be accepting. Now, on top of things, I'm apart of an even smaller community.
No...I'm not, I argued back in my head.
Liking Tara doesn't mean I like studs completely.
There's just...something different about her.
She doesn't count, basically.
I made it to my counselor, giving up on my search for Tara. For all I know, Nolina's ass den kidnapped her or some shit. Or, the counselor wants to talk to the both of us, and they're in there waiting on me.
I knocked softly on the door, greeted by the kind smile of a brown skinned lady with beaded braids.
"My first period teacher told me to come here," I stated, not knowing what else to say, even though I was telling her the obvious.
"Right. You're Gialla Collins?"
"Yes ma'am," I closed the door behind myself, proud that I remembered to use the correct formalities that my mom always pressed for me to use.
I sat down in the seat, throwing my other theory out the window. Tara wasn't in here. But maybe she was somewhere else at school?
"It's been brought to my attention..."
Here we go. I wanted to roll my eyes sooo bad.
"...that you're excelling in class, and I wanted to bring to your attention that higher level classes are available. I mean, almost all A's in every subject. You can be real with me- are you cheating? Or are you that smart, girlfriend?"
I tried to match her bubbly energy even though this morning alone had mentally drained me. "No, I don't cheat. I just don't want all the extra work that comes with higher level classes. All the busy work with those classes is just annoying. I'm just tryna graduate."
"I saw you used to be in PreAp classes. Why'd you drop back down?" she inquired.
"Cause of the busy work," I shrugged. "Had me in English reading books outside of class- two in a month at that, always with some big project, while the regular classes just had to read one book in class with a less strict rubric. Tell me that's not fair. Learning faster shouldn't mean more work. It should just be...more advanced," I shrugged, still not able to make sense of things. "I'm losing my free time because I learn faster, how that make sense? Shouldn't the people who learn slower have more work instead?"
"Well, I'm only a counselor. That's above my pay grade. But you do make a lot of good points. So I take you won't be taking advantage of any higher level classes, right?"
"Right," I agreed.
"Well, keep up the good work, Gialla. That's all I wanted to talk to you about today. Remember, I'm always available, and if you have any quick questions you ever want to shoot me, my email's on the school page. If you want to come in and talk to me or schedule a Zoom appointment, you need to email me about that," she informed me.
"Okay, thanks," I got up and shook her hand.
"Have a nice day," she told me on my way out, I repeated that back to her, walking slowly to my first period.
I couldn't tell if Caren and I were arguing or not based off of this morning. I hadn't seen her since before school, but even all these classes away from her, I feel the awkwardness straining our friendship. Normally, I'd just ignore her and fume until I either felt guilty or she apologized herself. But she's right, if I lose my last friend, then dealing with everything that I struggle with is only gonna be tens times harder. And, as far as I know, I'm Caren's only close friend too.
You can survive off of acquaintances in high school, but that's just not what a bad bitty's tryna do, you know?
So what do I have to do? I have to apologize to Caren. And it's gonna feel sucky and she might not even forgive me for being snappy and rude to her all the time, but all I can do is try.
Just as I was about to turn the corner to my English class, I saw a flash of familiar red hair. It was only one girl at this school who I knew religiously had a deep red silk press.
I changed courses, and followed after her in the hall, my anger running so high that I couldn't even think. All I could feel was the way my hands would wrap around her neck and wring her out like a towel.
Nolina flipped around, like she knew I had been behind her. "What's up?"
"Why you going around lying to people about me and Tara?" I spat out.
"Because y'all shouldn't be cool with each other. Yeah, y'all could start off cordial. Then y'all will be cool. Then y'all be friends. Then y'all gon wanna start going out. No. Shit ain't gonna fly that way," Nolina shook her head. "So I made sure that would never happen and so what if I lied about the situation?"
"You scared she gonna start liking me if me and her on good terms?" I laughed at her dumb ass. "You are sooo caught up in preventing your girl from cheating. Maybe she's the problem."
"You'd know, huh?" she stepped forward.
"Why'd you show your face here? You out here telling lies on me even after I had your face in the concrete," I cocked my head.
"Oh, like you weren't in the same predicament? Since when does Gialla run away from a fight? Yeah, ian forget."
"I thought you would, I'll admit," I chuckled, "Looked like I gave yo ass a concussion. Seems Yeen experience no memory loss."
"Bitch," Nolina stepped forward like she wanted to hit me, mentally holding herself back. "I don't care if you got me good. That won't happen again. And yo stupid little makeup can't hide that Tara did the same to you either."
"Oh well. Then that's that. Stop lying on my name though. You know what happened between Tara and me in ninth grade, and you know that I didn't kiss her first," I argued.
"Oh well. You deserve the way people treating you. You bullied Tara, and she might have her flaws, but she truly has a kind heart. I can't just let her forgive you like that. She needs to start putting her foot down and stop being so forgiving."
"What else did she tell you?" I demanded.
I swear...if Tara told Nolina how I truly felt I'll leave this damn school in handcuffs. You can't play with my trust. You just don't do that.
"Nothing," Nolina gave me a look. "I gotta get back to class. So if you not about it, then go."
"Don't play me," I snapped, "I've always been about shit. Yeen see the way I dragged ya girlfriend last year?"
"But who's won more fights?"
"The ratio was damn near equal at the beginning of the year. Don't try me, Nolina," I defended myself, "It's sad that I gotta argue with a bitch I used to trust. Who are you even now? Do you even know?"
"Shut up. I don't have time for this shit," she snapped, walking away.
"Yeah. Go back to your lil cheater. Stop speaking on my name, shawty."
"Whatever," she gave me the finger as she sauntered away.
I flipped her off too, heading back around to the hall my class was in.
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