The next morning, I got out of bed a whole lot slower. I still didn't have my home work done. I was less a girlfriend. And I had come to realize that I'd lost both of my best friends that I had started high school with. Talk about an eye opener.
Was it me? Was it something that I was doing?
Or do I just have a pick of really crappy people in Houston?
I threw on whatever, and put my hair into a puff, too lazy last night to carefully part my hair and twist it. I waited for my dad to get ready, then he drove me to school like the last morning.
"We gonna sit in silence everyday, or are you gonna be a man and tell me why you weren't there for me?"
"When the time comes. You're still too immature, Gialla. You just wouldn't understand where I'm coming from," he shook his head.
"Everybody in my life is a phony now, huh?" I muttered underneath my breath, twisting around a strand of hair from the top of my head as I leaned on the door.
"Can you start picking me up after school?" I asked a moment later. "Some weirdo's been following me around."
"Do you want food in the fridge?" he asked bluntly.
"You could've just said no," I rolled my eyes, staring out the window.
"Don't be difficult, Gialla," he told me softly. "I love you. I'm appreciative of the missed time we get to make up now."
"Every day of this year I'll be at school, and if things start to suck with my missed work, over the summer too. You can't make up for five plus years. Sorry, but you can't."
"I guess I don't have a choice but to live on then, huh? To make it past that over five year mark," he grinned over at me. "I love you, sweetie. You just don't know it."
"You never showed it," I said, accusingly.
"Well, I'm showing it now."
"A bit too late, don't you think?"
He pulled up to the school and I yanked my hoodie halfway over my head, shoving my earbuds in and getting out of the vehicle. "Have a nice day," I muttered.
"You too."
He drove off behind me as I slouched my way into the building. My eyes stayed glued to my phone as I walked the halls, heading to my first period. In English, I sat down in my seat, and buried myself in a book through the school district app, completely ignoring whatever the teacher was talking about.
I went through the rest of my day in a fog basically.
When it came to lunch, I skipped it and bought an oatmeal cookie from one of the vending machines, sitting to myself in a less crowded hallway with classes going on.
After lunch, I took my time going to fifth period, knowing that I'd have to see Tara, who obviously was feeling very unapologetic judging by the way she hadn't said anything to me since I walked in on her and Caren yesterday.
"Good morning, Ms. Applebottom," I was getting into the habit of greeting people. That was the right thing to do. It's ironic that Tara was always getting on me about good manners and now...
"Gialla and Tara, how's the project coming along?" she asked, sitting at her desk and looking up at me expectantly.
"Well, uh, I figured we could get an extension because I was um," it felt like the whole class was involved in my conversation now, "out of school for a bit and wasn't able to complete it. But if you can't, then she can go ahead with our project and we can work separately." I really prefer the last option. I had forgotten about that damn project, and I really don't feel like dealing with Tara right now.
"I'll provide the two of you an extension, but it cannot be done separately. That's too much work on one person," she explained. I don't care! Let it be all of the work I can't handle! Just let me do it alone.
"Thanks," I gave her a weak smile, heading to my desk.
I felt Tara's eyes on me, but I kept my hoodie up and focused on the rubric in front of me.
"So she said we still have to work together?"
I looked up, seeing that she was standing over me.
My heart didn't even flutter the same anymore. It still did, but it was tainted by the mental image of Caren and her seared into my mind.
"Yeah. You wanna do half, and I do half? We can meet together a day before it's due, make sure things run smoothly, then present the next day. We also need to see if we present on day one or day two."
"That...works," Tara said slowly, "but I wanted to talk to you."
"About yesterday? With you and Caren?" I didn't bother beating around the bush. I moved my papers together on the desk and tapped them against the surface once so they would all be lined up, before looking at Tara again.
"I shouldn't have done that."
I held my tongue, waiting for her to finish.
A little surprised that I didn't fire off, it seemed, Tara continued. "Me and Caren are very sorry. She told me about what was said between the two of y'all after school."
"I stole you from Nolina, it's only right that someone stole you from me. I deserved it," I shrugged.
"Don't put this on yourself. I did all of this," she stated firmly.
I mentally smirked. Reverse psychology at its finest.
"I thought y'all were my ride or die's since all this mess started. But y'all were messing around. You know," I laid my hands on the desk, holding them together, "the actual cheating- The fact that you couldn't just say shit wasn't working and we could've broken up on peaceful terms is what bothers me. If you don't fuck with me, why keep me? So you can have your cake and eat it too? And then...you were all on me...but then you were all on her? That's nasty, man. What if you had gave us something. I'm not calling any three of us dirty, but shit happens."
"You're right, and this ain't my first time doing it-
"So you shouldn't have gotten caught," I said clearly, looking at her like she was dumb. "How you supposed to be this lil player and you got caught, dummy? Situations like this is why honesty is best."
"I won't cheat again if you take me back, Gialla," she said softly, grabbing my hands and taking them out of fists.
"Then I'll guess you'll continue being a cheater," I huffed, turning back to my work.
Tara stood there blankly for a moment.
I glanced back up at her. "That means I'm not taking you back. So shoo."
"Gialla, don't. After all we've been through?"
"Especially after all we've been through," I scoffed.
"Me and Caren don't want each other on a relationship level. It was just some freaky shit."
"If you want a girl that accepts your cheating and brushes it under the rug, go back to Nolina's ass, and I can say that a billion times more," I pointed in her face.
"You the one I want though."
"Change your priorities then because I'm not up for grabs," I rolled my eyes.
She sat on her knees, giving me the same puppy dog eyes Caren had given me yesterday. "Can we at least be friends?"
"Fine. But not Caren. I still need time to forgive her for a lot of shit. It seems like when shit concerns you, she's always ready to hide a secret. First it was the fact that you and Nolina were together over the summer and she didn't wanna expose y'all's business before Lina told me. Now it's you two sneaking around."
"Caren has a good heart, Gi. She's been there for you when no one has been."
"You can be a good friend and do bad shit. Nobody's perfect, Tara. I was never asking for you to be the perfect girlfriend, by the way. Just to keep shit real with me," I shook my head. "Let's get to this work before I switch partners, okay?"
She nodded, blinking hard. "Okay," she answered, her voice breaking a little.
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