Just Another Nobody - Nathan Sykes

Epilogue

Hayley ||

My mind was all over the place. As much as I loved what I did for a living, It frustrated me at times. But, I suppose that was all part and parcel of life, right?

Since the incident that happened 3 years ago, I moved to San Francisco and lived with Zach. I promised him I'd get a place of my own once I was financially stabled, and I was almost there. Even though he insisted that it would be fine for me to live there for like, forever, that would be intruding on his privacy. I mean, I wouldn't want to be living here when he's got a girlfriend and all - if he ever finds one. He's just bad at this dating thing. Not to say that I was any better though.

I looked down at my watch to see that I had about an hour to spare before my next meeting. As per usual, I decided on spending it at the local cafe where I'd enjoy a nice cup of hot chocolate and read, or write. Whichever I felt like doing on that particular day.

Once I got my drink, I sat at one of the tables beside the window which gave me a great view of the park that was right opposite. My eyes stared at the laptop that was in front of me. A white blank page was all I saw. That was because I didn't know what was next. I didn't know how to put the stories in my head into words.

I watched the cars drive by, some fast, others slow. My mind was blocked and I decided to focus on the world around me instead. Maybe the world was my muse, maybe it could be?

I was done with the book, almost. I just couldn't figure out the ending. I couldn't put it into words and I've been trying to, for weeks now.

I noticed the few children laughing and running around in the park. They made life seem so happy and I'd like to believe that it is, but it isn't. There's so many things in life that nobody seems to know about. It was all happiness, yet it wasn't all bad either.

Some of us just feel lost. We can't find our place, right? Maybe that was just me, though. I was happy here - I am. But somewhere in that happiness there's emptiness. An emptiness that can't seem to be filled, as much as I tried to.

I shut the lid of my laptop and grabbed it along with the chapters that I'd already printed a while back. I felt the need to carry them along with me.

Just as I walked out, the cold San Francisco air brushed against my skin that was covered with a couple of layers of clothing. Even though I had grown up in the cold British weather, I still wasn't nearly as accustomed to it as I should be but it sure did feel like home.

I found myself walking around aimlessly, enjoying the crisp air. My meeting was gonna be held in an office just blocks away so I wasn't worried about being late. I was too consumed in my thoughts when I felt myself bang into another person. The cup that contained my hot chocolate fell to the ground and the remains of the hot beverage spilled, all over the pavement. Thankfully, It didn't spill on me, 'cause boy, hot chocolate stains on a white shirt would not be pleasant.

I noticed my papers scattered all over the pavement and the stranger kindly helped pick them up while muttering a bunch of "I'm sorry's"

I was probably at fault since I had been too busy daydreaming.

'I am so sorry, this was my fault' I said, kneeling down to pick up the rest of my papers. I didn't get a view of him since his head was faced down.

We both then stood up as he handed the papers to me.

'Than-' I stopped when I noticed who was stood in front of me.

'Hayley' Nathan said, almost smiling.

'Hey' I couldn't grasp it all. 'What are you doing here, in San Fran? It's a long way from London, you know' I said, causing a smile to form on his lips.

'I'm aware,' it felt good hearing his accent again, almost surreal. 'I'm just uh, doing some promos for my new album' he seemed a little nervous.

'Well look at you, being into music and all. I always told you that you could sing!'

'You did, Brooks, you did' His smile disappeared and I couldn't help but wonder why. I was about to ask when he beat me to it.

'I'm sorry, Hayley. For what I did three years ago, for leaving you without answers, for me being the reason you almost killed yourself. I know, I know that you wanted to kill yourself when you got into that car and I was the reason why'

I hadn't felt this broken ever since that day. I didn't want him to go on. Even if I deserved an explanation back then, I can't handle hearing any of it now. 'Nathan..'

'I've felt so alone without you, Hayley. The music is the only thing that's been helping me but I'm still nothing without you. I'm alive yet I couldn't feel more dead. I need you, I've needed you ever since the day we met. And for the record, all the songs on my album are about you. You're my muse, Hayley.'

He was alone and it showed. It showed it his green eyes how broken he was inside. All this time, I thought I was the one hurting when in reality, he was too.

'Let's just put that all in the past, okay?' I said and he nodded slowly.

'Hi,I'm Hayley' I extended my hand.

'I'm Nathan' he shook it before smiling again.

We had decided on catching up whilst he walked me to my meeting since he didn't have anything planned for the rest of the day.

'Oh, and for the record. My book's about us' I whispered and noticed the corners of his lips curve.

There he was, my muse. I guess I've figured out the ending to my book after all. The words are all replaying in my mind, It was crystal clear.

My ending was going to be with him, whether I knew it or not.

It was always him, and it always will be him.