Just Another Nobody - Nathan Sykes

Chapter 33 - Secrets?

Hayley's POV ||

'Nathan,' I said softly causing him to turn around and face me.

'Hayles' he smiled and brought me into a hug. 'I've missed you. so. much' he spoke into my shoulder as I felt my shirt begin to get a little wet from his tears. I didn't want to do this but I had to.

'Um' I said, trying to put it into words but instead tears just took over my system.

'Hey, hey' he said, wiping my tears then lacing my left cheek with his index finger. 'Don't cry'

'B-but you're crying too, idiot' I muttered as I laughed a little.

'Oi, that doesn't mean you cry! I'm the softie, you're my hardcore Hayley' he nudged me in the shoulder causing a smile to appear on my face. I then remembered why I came in the first place.

'I don't love you' I blurted out and I noticed his face stiffen up.

'W-what? Hayley you said-'

I cut him off. 'I know what I said but I can't, Nathan. I don't love you' I tried holding back my tears but failed.

'Please, Hayley' he entwined our hands. I enjoyed it for one second then pulled away. 'No, Nathan! Just, stop!' I shouted then stormed off only to hear his voice say 'Hayley' softly but loud enough to be heard by me.

I turned to face Nathan, with a knife held against his neck. He looked so broken, so empty, the complete opposite of the Nathan I've always known. 'Nathan,' I had no idea why it felt so hard to speak. It was like the 'I love you' was just stuck in my throat but could never escape my mouth. 'Please, don't do this'

'Why?' Tears began flowing through his eyes that were slowly turning red. 'There's no point living a life without you'

'I'm still here' I spoke as I slowly took a few steps towards him but he backed up and pressed the knife to his neck - harder than before. 'Don't come near me. I'll fucking do it' his raspy voice said.

My heart was pounding and I had no idea what to do. I was scared. He was scared. 'But you're not mine. And I need you to be mine, Hayley' his voice softened. 'Hayles' he breathed.

'I'm-I'm yours. I am yours. I'm here, with you. I'm always with you. I'll always be with you' I ended up crying by the words that were spoken by myself.

'No!' He yelled. 'Stop! Stop sympathizing towards me! Just,' he took a deep breath. 'Forget me, Hayley. You'll be happier with your new boyfriend Zach and you've got Kyle and you've got everyone whilst I've got nobody. I want nobody besides you but that's fine, just forget me, okay?' For some reason his last words hurt me the most.

He was slowly lowering the knife to his chest without noticing. If I ran fast enough, I'd be able to push the knife out of his hand. It'd work. I think? I hope. I sighed and thought to myself about how I needed to safe him and I needed to do anything that was possible right now.

He was about to say something when I made a run for it and was so close to getting the knife when he clearly acted fast and backed away immediately, slashing the knife against his throat. His body fell to the ground and blood rushed out of his neck within seconds. No, please no.

'Nathan!!' I yelled, feeling like I had no voice after. I rushed to his side and rested his neck on my thighs. His eyes were watering and I could see him getting paler by the second. 'Don't leave me, please' I cried. 'Nathan, I need you'

'I love you' he muttered before his eyes slowly shut. My heart stopped. There was blood everywhere and I refused to believe what had just happened. I didn't lose him, no. I didn't just lose my best friend, my Nathy. It was all my fault, I did this to him. I hurt him, lead him on. 'It's all me!!' I yelled out loud.

I felt an ache in my chest as my eyes jerked open. My face was wet from tears or sweat, at this point I couldn't tell the difference. My breaths got heavier as tears continued to roll down my face.

It was a dream, Hayley. Just a dream.

I refused to believe that. It can't be just a dream. It's .. It's a warning or a message or just something! It had to be.

-

'Why do you look like a freaking zombie?' Kyle asked as he took a sip of his steaming cup of hot chocolate.

'It's nothing' I muttered as I tried changing the subject with, 'I was gone for a while. You must've missed me'

'Course. Now why haven't you been getting enough sleep?' He asked as his eyes stared straight into mine, knowing that I wasn't telling him something.

'Um,' I rubbed the nape of my neck. 'I had this dream on my first night back from Bora-Bora and' I didn't know why it felt so hard to speak. Nothing wanted to escape my mouth.

'And?' He asked.

'It was about Nathan. I killed Nathan. It was my fault, all of it. If it weren't for me, he'd be absolutely fine'

"I killed Nathan" my mind kept repeating.

'Hayley,' he gave me a stern look. 'Nathan's alive. He's fucking fine, what actually happened?'

I ended up explaining the dream to him, bit by bit until he finally realized that I'm the victim in this. Me.

'You didn't kill him, Hayley. Nathan would never have the will to kill himself, even over an idiot like you' he said, causing me to smile. Something I hadn't done in a while. 'It was just a dream, ok? He's fine, trust me. Don't let a stupid nightmare keep you up at night'

I sighed. I wanted to believe everything Kyle had said, I really did but I knew for a fact that it wasn't just another nightmare. I hated clowns as a kid. I used to have nightmares of them but that didn't mean that I would stay up every night after, thinking about it. This wasn't a fucking nightmare. It's a sign. A sign that I shouldn't see Nathan or get involved with him.

The buzzing of Kyle's phone snapped me back into reality.

'Speak of the devil' He muttered under his breath.

I gave him a questioning look.

'It's Nathan. We were supposed to meet up about um, something' he sounded nervous at the last words of that sentence. 'You should maybe come along? It's about time you two asses spoke to each other'

He stood up and swung his backpack on his left shoulder. 'No. Have fun though' I said as I followed his movements in standing up.

'It's just a dream, Hayley.'

'Yeah yeah yeah' I rolled my eyes as he brought me into a hug. 'I'm just a phone call away if you need me' he smiled and walked off.

I noticed a small piece of paper fall out from the side of his backpack.

It was folded and read,

'Tuesday
10AM at the usual alley.
Don't fucking tell her
N.'

Huh? I asked myself.

It was Tuesday today and it was a quarter to ten. Kyle was meeting Nathan and I was fine with that but why wouldn't Nathan want him telling me?

'We were supposed to meet up about um, something' I remembered Kyle say.

What were they hiding from me?

---

Very short chapter but I'd prefer saving the rest for the next chapter. Anyways, THIS BOOK JUST HIT FREAKING 10K READS! It means so flipping much to me and hope you guys enjoy what's to come. AS ALWAYS, I'm sorry for being shit at updating. I'm gonna make sure I update every weekend from now onwards. Hope you guys enjoy this xxo