❝we have different destinies, paul.❞
❝bullshit. we choose our own destinies, and i choose you. over and over again. always.❞
When House Atreides must uproot itself and move to Arrakis, Lia finds herself worrying more and more about Paul and the dema...
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I had no idea where to go or where I was headed, but there was something pushing me to be where I needed to be. I just knew that Paul was at the end of it.
My desire to be with Paul has never been stronger, yet I still had the willpower and a reasonable mind to know my time with him could wait. This, though, had nothing to do with that. I couldn't tell if what I felt was my subconscious Bene Gesserit training, or perhaps something even greater than me, but the sense was strong and it was pulling me towards him.
I would have been happy at the thought of seeing Paul, but this was not a happy feeling. If anything at all, this dark and gnawing feeling that tugged me in his direction felt haunting. Either something bad had happened, was happening, or was going to happen. I wasn't quite sure which I would be leading myself to.
I was quick to catch my father just as he was leaving last night so that I could pass baby Leto off to him. I packed a sachel at lightning speed, strapped on my stillsuit and began my journey.
"I will miss you, sweet boy." I told my son, lightly passing my finger over his cheek. "I love you. I'll be back soon for you with your daddy. Don't grow up too fast while I'm gone."
The thought of separating from Leto pulled at my heart. This had to have been the first time since his birth that I allowed myself to be apart from him but it was bound to happen eventually. I had to do this. Paul needed me, I could feel it.
I wasn't the most up-to-date with Paul's community and diplomatic plans, but I believed he was currently visiting a neighbouring sietch to meet with their Naib. I was worried about not knowing where to head when I realized my body already knew where to go, so I let my senses take over and take me to where I needed to be.
I searched my mind for possible scenarios I could be entering but nothing came to mind. Was it even wise to let myself ruminate over scenarios I know I won't be able to control? I was better off pushing away any thought that would make me panic, there was no point in worrying throughout my long journey there.
My heart couldn't help but yearn for my lover despite my rationale. He had proven to be my biggest weakness, but also my biggest strength. What was once a young and innocent childhood friendship had transformed into something bigger. Something genuine.
I grew up thinking that every boy I meet will be something like Paul. Since he was the only boy I knew, I figured all the other boys would be just as good at making me me laugh, cry, and smile. I thought every boy would be just as kind as Paul, that they'd know how to fight like Paul, maybe even talk like him, too.
But not all boys are like Paul. Not all boys know how to make me laugh, and not all boys will know how to make me smile. They don't know when I want to be left alone, what songs make me want to dance, or what foods I like when I'm hungry. No boy is like Paul because the only person who comes close is him. Paul. It will always be Paul.
