back to you | paul atreides

twenty six

That night I lay awake, still trying to understand what I had just learned. I replayed my conversation with Shipo.

I stared at the old woman, allowing the information to settle. My purpose... was Paul? I existed for Paul? The idea made me want to laugh.

"The Lady Jessica was meant to bear only a female heir who would then mate with a male Harkonnen. More specifically, Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen."

My stomach turned. The female Atreides heir and Feyd-Rautha? So, hypothetically, if Paul was born a girl then he would have to... reproduce with Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen?

God, the irony. I wondered how both Paul and Feyd would feel about this information. "Wow," I muttered to myself, unable to resist a smile. "I had no idea... But my father, how is he part of all of this?"

"Your father is nothing to the breeding program, his relation to his Lordship was nothing but convenient. It's your mother that makes you so crucial to the process."

"My mother," I repeated. "I don't understand. My mother was a soldier just like my father. She died years ago."

Shipo's eyes shifted, almost as if her expression carried pity. "Your mother never died, she simply wasn't meant to raise you. Her Bene Gesserit training would not allow it, she lived to serve."

I sucked in a breath as I recalled the memory. The feeling of fear and ignorance surrounding my own identity was overwhelming.

That's not true, I wanted to tell her. My mother died when I was born.

"Did she, though?" Shipo answered my thoughts. My eyes widened at the invasion of my mind. "You know so little of your mother, I can see it. Is it really so hard to believe she was a Bene Gesserit?"

"I never had a reason to believe otherwise." I defended quietly.

"Did you never wonder how you acquired such peculiar abilities?" She questioned.

I blinked. "I... we thought Lady Jessica had been inadvertently teaching me as she had Paul."

She raised a brow. "Dear child, you truly believe that the Weirding Way could be taught accidentally?"

I stared at her blankly. Was it that ridiculous for me to believe such a thing? Lady Jessica had seemed convinced this was the reason.

"Does the Lady Jessica know?" I asked quickly, wondering if the woman I viewed as my mother was aware of my heritage.

"That you're the offspring of a Bene Gesserit?" She asked. "No, she does not. At least, not that I ever learned before rejecting the Imperium. Her neutrality was of essence. It would have ruined everything to have her know."

My mother was a Bene Gesserit.

That was a hard to swallow pill. I didn't know how I was supposed to feel about this information, but it did make sense. It explained all the unexplainable things that have happened to me.