back to you | paul atreides

thirty eight

"I'm so sorry again." I apologized to Paul. I still couldn't believe my father had acted like such an animal, to say I was embarrassed would be an understatement.

He smiled and shook his head. "Don't be. At least now we know he's loyal to my father."

The two of us were laying together in our shared cot, preparing for sleep. I enjoyed the nights because it served as the only time we'd find privacy and alone time together. Soon enough our nights would be filled with crying and nursing, I could already smell the diapers.

Paul was able to retrieve the letter from Yueh in which he admitted to his betrayal and professed Jessica's innocence. This seemed to ease my dad's nerves enough to not kill Jessica on the spot. I was surprised she hadn't used any of her own abilities to stop him from hurting her, but I realize she let him have her for good reason; to earn his trust.

"That whole situation stressed me out," I muttered and rested my hands on my belly, "I'm so tired. There was so much running and screaming today."

He put a hand over mine which rested on my stomach, his eyes eyeing me with concern. "Are you alright Lia? Did you hurt yourself today?" His eyes moved to assess me for any damage. 

I shook my head and smiled. "I'm fine, but thank you for caring." I leaned over to kiss him gently on the cheek. This seemed to ease his worry as his shoulders relaxed.

"Of course." He told me. "I want to keep you safe."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm more than capable than doing that myself."

"Trust me, I know." He grinned before his face turned into a frown. "But still, I want to protect you. I want to be here for you now to make up for all the times I wasn't."

My eyes softened. I grabbed hold of his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "You've done everything right. Thank you for being here."

Paul looked away, his mind wandering. "Things can't be this easy though, can it? We made it through all of this unscathed while the Baron is still alive, Feyd-Rautha is still alive, House Atreides is almost extinct..." He paused. "It doesn't feel finished yet. I have this... feeling that, I don't know, something bad will happen I guess."

I was quiet as I considered this. "I know what you mean." I agreed in a low voice. "I think I feel it too, but I kept hoping maybe I was wrong."

"It's not just that." Paul continued, still not meeting my eyes. "I keep having dreams."

"Again?" I questioned. "You never mentioned them. You could have told me, you know. You always can."

He hesitated, choosing his words carefully. "I know. I don't want to scare you or make you more stressed than you need to be."

My brows pressed together and I made a face. "What about them is scary?"

Paul didn't look at me, keeping his eyes trained on something else. "Dreams of you and the baby..."