Chapter 18 pt5
Last of the Entries
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It’s been three days since Stella, Clarissa, and Bethany left and the house has stayed it’s new light cheerful self. Emily’s mood has been increased and her energy has gone up overnight. Now that she doesn’t have to worry about “Him” she doesn’t have to waste the energy on trying to keep him under control. It has been a very nice change to say the least.
When the three witches had come and after talking to them some of the things they said made me begin to think about the future and Emily and I. When they said soon I’d be with her forever it really made me think about when that would be. I’ve thought briefly about it in the past but never to the extent I have the last few days. It made me wonder how far in the future yes I’m dying but how long will it be? With the right treatments people like me can love for a long time but two facts remain I still can’t have a family and I WILL DIE. So now I have to decide how that is going to happen. I don’t want to be thirty something when I go I want to be around the same age as Emily was when she passed. I have every intention on staying here after my death so we can be together forever just as Stella had said. Given my strong connection with Emily that part shouldn’t be an issue the only issue is when it will happen. I have decided to stop taking my meds that try to suppress the virus and keep it in check. I told Emily about this and at first she was reluctant to go along with it but after explaining to her that I will die anyways and even if I lived I couldn’t have a family or anything like that because I would just pass it to everyone. After about an hour or so she accepted it and I assured her that it is truly what I want.
The virus should spread pretty fast now that I am not taking my meds so it shouldn’t be too long before I do pass. It should be a couple years at the earliest and I have decided to not let it go past twenty-two so if the virus doesn’t take me by then I will do it myself.
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