The Day The Sun Set (Poems)

Million-Mile-a-Minute Thoughts

A/N- this poem goes out particularly to all those with ADHD in addiction to all other other Neurodivergent individuals.

What if they are not thinking the same thing as me,
What if I've got it all worked out in reverse,
I live my life on "what-ifs."
What if someone isn't really my friend.

I'm not the type of person,
who can stroll to sit with whoever they like,
I've got to stand there with an awkward look,
Until somebody waves me to them as if to say,

It's okay,
It's alright,
Come sit with us.

It's okay,
It's alright,
Don't make such a fuss.

But now they must think I'm a wimp,
Or shy to the bone when I'm not,
I'm just scared at the chance my evaluations result incorrect,
As my stomach makes an odd sound and neatly folds into a knot.

Yet I know that even if their wimps or shy or bold or kind,
I don't judge them,
I love them I do,
So maybe just maybe they won't think twice about me either, but now a new thought enters my mind-

However should they think twice?
I'm their friend after all,
Isn't that right?

But who cares what they think,
Except the boy with cool hair,
Sitting right over there,
Am I brave enough to grab a chair?

No way.
So he's still just the boy who is funny and bright, the boy with cool hair and great smile to boot.
And instead of a chatting with him, I'm lost in my fantasies, standing ten feet away,
from his eyes I am blind
and his lips I am mute.

I've learned not to question it, and yet somehow my whole being still seems tied down by quirries,
I'm not afraid of what they think, just afraid that I'm wrong,
And that what I thought that they thought about me and my weirdness was still in their minds or already gone.

All this goes through my head.
While I'm still waiting for lunch to begin.

All this goes through my mind,
About what I might lose before I can an find!

All this goes through my head,
Each night and each day as I stare at the ceiling for hours while I lie in my bed.