Chapter 14: You weren't supposed to see those

100 3 0

by Get_lost_hood

by Get_lost_hood

TW- Self harm, depression, abusive relationships, talk of sexual assault

Cherry and I are cuddling. I am laying on top of her like I usually do when I notice some cuts on her arm. I know exactly what they are because Johnny has them too.

"Cherry baby..." I say while touching her arm. She quickly moves away and her eyes fill with tears.

"You weren't supposed to see those." She says, "Sorry I didn't tell you I'm mentally ill. I was scared you'd leave me and I also didn't want to be a bother."

"Cherry my love," I stare into her beautiful green eyes, "I would never leave you. And you're not a bother. Your mental health is important. It's okay to be sad. But it's not okay to hurt yourself. I love you so much and you can always talk to me about anything."

"So you're not mad?" she asks, her face wet with tears.

"Of course not, love. I could never be mad at you." I wipe away Cherry's tears and play with her hair. "Now, do you want to tell me why you're cutting yourself?"

"Mhm" Cherry mumbles and I pull her into a hug. We crawl back into her bed and she lays her head on my chest.

"So what's bothering you?" I question.

"It's a lot of things."

"We've got time"

"There is just so much goddamn pressure on me. Everyone wants me to be perfect." Cherry sobs. "I get pressure from my parents, from my friends, from teachers, and from random kids at school. It sucks being popular. Everyone judges you, but nobody cares about you. If I just killed myself then I'd finally be free. I wouldn't have to be smart, pretty, polite, or perfect. I could rest."

I'm stunned by what Cherry says and I'm not sure how I should respond. I decide to just hold her close and let her cry, "Is there anything else?".

"Mhm. Bob. There's a reason why I don't talk about him." She takes a deep breath, "He was a terrible person. He was physically and sexually abusive. He would get drunk, and then do awful things to me. Oh, Lavender, it was horrible." Cherry sobs, "And I feel so guilty because so many nights, I would lay awake wishing he would just disappear. And now he's gone. It was so difficult to have to pretend to miss him. I never loved him."

"Cherry, I'm so sorry. That is so awful. I just hope you know that I would never do that to you. I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say."

"Once, I tried to break up with him and he beat me so badly. You see this scar on my face? That's from when he hit me with a broken pop bottle."

"Oh Cherry, I'm so sorry that happened to you." At this point, I start crying because of how awful this is.

"Bob is the reason why I'm so careful with you. And why I always ask for consent before anything. Because I understand how it feels to be violated. I don't want us to have sex until you're completely ready. I don't want to steal away your virginity as Bob did to me."

After taking some more, Cherry and I go to sleep.